to think it might be better to have your family before starting your career?

[nailak]

I was just reading a thread about a woman who 16 years after her son was born cannot get back in to a field that she has experience in because people would rather hire cheaper newly qualified staff.

So would it not be better to have a family, study while they are young, or before starting a family, then after they are at nursery/school go to work in entry level role?

or am i totally deluded?

Ive not read the whole thread, but thats exactly what I've done. Im on my third year of Uni and during this year, (sandwich year) i have had a baby, worked in my industry, full time for a year, had job offers, worked for big companies and gained a B over all.

I have one year left, and although this year was the hardest I've ever done, it was worth it. So now, i can fit my career around my family, and work it that way (hopefully) without any problems! So i really agree with you!

I think as a woman you need to decide if you are going to have a "career" or prioritise childrearing and just have a "job". I think it's very difficult to have any sort of interesting fulfilling career and expect to have several years off from it childrearing. Most of the women I know with good jobs had just a few weeks maty leave. Some of them switched to part time work, like I did, but they didn't leave the career structure all together.
I think if you are thinking of having kids rather than a career before your career has even started then you're not that bothered about your career. Kids are draining and time consuming. I think it's easier to get a few years of intensive job stuff behind you before you have kids, also most of the women I know with good jobs haven't had more than 2 kids. It helps to pick a bloke who is likely to remain a hands on dad even if you split up as well.
Both my parents worked until they were in their 60s so I disagree with the view that younger grandparents have more time.

I had my baby first. Had zero motivation pre child and worked jobs according to bills, took work I liked rather than needed. Now I'm currently at uni working towards an NHS linked degree with a 2 year old. Planning to job and school hunt simultaneously upon graduation so I don't have to move her. My theory is that I'm on a reasonably secure career path now, I'm not going to have to take years off for children once I'm established. Plus I can't be more broke than I am now and we're doing okay, so no shock to the system of decent wage earning then discovering the financial blackhole that children create. Would be impossible without childcare from a granny who has to stay at home with a special needs child anyway, without her I think its more financially viable to be a SAHM.

2Rebecca I was in a fairly senior role and as others have said it is often easier to negotiate the hours/flexibility and I took a full years mat leave with each.
MY parents didnt really want to help with childcare - they felt they had done their bit already ! ( I didnt ask or expect them to btw)

shushpenfold I did something quite similar, my original post made it sound as if I just had a career break and did nothing (other than of course look after the DCs). I did lots of voluntary work in business and finance which actually helped me get a promotion at work a year after going back after my 5 years off.

accountantsrule - it works doesn't it! I was really pleased to be able to actually use my voluntary work (even when you feel entirely unappreciated whilst doing it!) and as it happened, it paid off big time.

Definitely, I was quite surprised when my employers asked me so much about it and were so impressed. I would highly recommend doing this to anyone having extended maternity leave/career breaks. There are lots of opportunities within charities incl pre-schools/schools etc to broaden your skills.

I had a child at 19 as a single parent and then studied and started a career. It has worked out well for us, I have postgrad and professional qualifications and started working life at quite a senior level, when DS was starting secondary school so he didn't need any childcare.

One of the major advantages I found was that starting out as a young parent meant that I got a lot more help offered to me compared to friends who waited until their thirties. For example access to affordable housing, additional student grants, childcare costs, benefits during vacations, which all meant I could focus on my course and being a parent. I also won a couple of scholarships which covered my postgrad fees and I think it helped my application that I was from a non-traditional background. I did my postgrad part-time so I would have more time to reflect on my subject, which was possible because I was able to get financial support to cover living costs, something not usually available to most students. I also managed to get lots of work experience through voluntary work and internships when other students had to take whatever paid the bills. I met my current employer through one of the internships so I've never had to jump through lots of interview hoops either.

I have a friend the same age as me who has started her degree as a mature student, but is finding it much harder than I did as she doesn't qualify for so much support due to her DH's salary. As a result she is having to juggle her study with lots more childcare (3 young dc), more housework and part-time work as well.

I'm pleased it worked for you smallgreenthing. It wouldn't have worked for me. Which is why I don't get the OP saying that one way is better than the other.

Though surely the example of your friend shows that it is much harder to get an advanced education later in life with dependent children - but again, it all depends on you, your circumstances and what you are studying for.

I'm an actuary, I worked and studied at the same time to qualify. It took 5 years of giving up weekends and evenings and holidays. There is absolutely no way I could have managed that with 2 kids.

There is no "should". I would never have had children at the age of 20/21/22/23 etc with the guy I happened to be with at those ages, just because it might be better to do it early.

I could easily have married any of the people I was with at those ages - they were perfectly nice people. But I met my DH, the complete and utter love of my life, in my late twenties and I am forever grateful my life has turned out how it has. I'm 32, pregnant with my first, immensely grateful for having built up a great career and married to the best person I could ever have met. It's inconceivable to me to have had children with anyone but DH so no - having children in my early twenties didn't jive with me because not just anyone would do.