AIBU to think that women should not have to be discreet when breastfeeding?

[lalaland3008]

I'm not saying that anyone should purposely flop both boobs out into someones dinner. But it makes me really mad that some people think women should have to be discreet when feeding their baby, sit in a corner or breastfeeding 'booth'.

I also think a breast is just not comparable to a penis to a vagina and if people are offended because they see breasts as purely sexual then that is their own problem.

Noone would object to me sitting in public drinking my coffee or feeding my baby a bottle of cows milk yet people find breastmilk offensive.

I'm not bitty mad I lasted 2 weeks breastfeeding but it still makes my blood boil that it is seen as controversial by many.

AIBU?

What? Are you saying that some women breast feed in a sexual way?? Really?

What??? How the bloody hell does anyone breastfeed in a sexual way?

I don't really think anyone can even eat in a sexy way either though.

Well, maybe that Flake Advert...... :)

They should be thought of as feeding organs long before they are thought of as sexual

Which is of course why adverts and porn are choc full of lactating mothers' boobs.

And why men are encouraged to pull out their willies for a natural, healthy wee in public places and everyone smiles approvingly.

I actually think that the mouth could be viewed as a sex organ. Kissing and oral sex for example. But we also use it to talk, eat and breathe

Of course, of course - why would men drool at women's bums and boobs when they could ogle mouths.

The inconvenient truth is that people - society - are uncomfortable with the public display of sex organs, even if they have other functions.

McKayz I'm just saying, breast are seen as a sex organ, even when mum's are breastfreeding. Some people may/will find it sexy, even if you think they shouldn't because to them it's the breast they see and not the baby attached.

Oh and try youtube sexy eating.

What's wrong with being discreet?

I am not going to youtube sexy eating as I don't find eating remotely attractive.

There is nothing wrong with being discreet if that is what the mother wants, but they shouldn't have to be.

pantylace Fri 15-Jun-12 17:24:39
"Not only the people who don't like it. What about religion?"

Can you inform me of which religion disapproves of breastfeeding in public?

It is certainly not Islam, where breast-feeding does not appear to be sexualised at all.

As for Christianity, could you identify the sect? I have never had a problem either in Anglican churches or Evangelical prayer meetings. And there is certainly enough of it in Catholic imagery.

Can a free thinking mum please do me a favour and go down Mile End for me. Just sit there breast feeding your baby and let me know what happens, how much you are ignored by all religious folk passing you by.

Or do I really have to find pictures to prove a point?

I've seen the pics posted on here. I've also lived in the Middle East, and I can assure you, the women do not breast feed in public. Never saw it once. I was a breast feeding mum during the time I was there. I was extremely aware. Don't know any other expats who have seen it either.

For gods sake!

Do we see boobs before the watershed on tv? Nope.

Mouths? Yes.

Whatme, you say "Bottle teats were originally copied from other mammals, not the human. Why do you think that was - that those other mammals all secretly bottlefed their young?"

Eh? Bottle teats were developed for the bottles they were originally designed to be attached to. They were not not not copied from 'other mammals' unless you can find another mammal who has mammary glands that look and act like old-style glass bottles.

Why would a product designer, faced with the technical problem of enabling a human baby get milk from a narrow-necked bottle, look to other mammals for inspiration?

These days, bottles are wider-necked, but they are still nothing like breasts, nothing like udders, nothing like gorillas' or dogs' or sheeps' or kangaroos' or horses' or rats breasts/mammary organs. All of whom have nipples that are different from each other and humans, as well.

But you probably have instantly decided you are now an expert on mammalian and veterinary anatomical issues, as well as rubber and plastic design, so I don't know why I bother, really :)

You also ask, "But lets go back a step...why do you think the human breast is different to all other mammals, then? For better feeding of human babies?"

Yep - primarily. I don't think many mothers would find their bf problems resolved if they used udders instead.

We do have fat in our breasts when we are not pregnant or lactating - there may well be other reasons for that.

How completely bizarre whatme: "But lets go back a step...why do you think the human breast is different to all other mammals, then? For better feeding of human babies?"

Of course! It is an absolute evolutionary necessity that the human breast is designed to best fit a human baby. The match between human baby and human milk is staggeringly sophisticated - the way it changes over time for example. So too the match between breast and baby.

tiktok- I suppose we are 'designed' to be pregnant and/or lactating pretty much non-stop from puberty to menopause. So the fact that we have fat at other times would have been irrelevant in terms of extra energy expended/redundancy of processes.

Whatmeworry you are choosing to respond to a selection only of my posts.

I shall repeat for the hard of reading

Me calling you patronising was not part of some clever counter argument as you are so very keen to claim (why, btw?). I am simply pointing out, many times now, that you are being patronising.

Given that I don't expect you'll 'see' this I shall add a few offensive

BOOBS BOKBS BOOBS BOOBS

Oh and to whoever said breasts shouldn't be seen in public because they feature in porn. All well and good bit the porn industry has fuck all to do with me and how I feed my children.

I shall repeat for the hard of reading. Me calling you patronising was not part of some clever counter argument as you are so very keen to claim (why, btw?). I am simply pointing out, many times now, that you are being patronising

Calling me names is called an ad hominem argument. I can see my error with you was using latin, it means a personal attack on me rather than my arguments.

I don't think its a clever counter argument, I think that is a very dumb form of argument, which is why I have pretty much ignored everything you've written since.

HTH :)

Can't we just ban porn and page three and all the other misogynistic crap and take our boobs back? Do we really think people are so silly that they can't separate feeding from sex? I read the National Geographic and there are bloody boobs in there all the time, educational boobs. Those filthy rags are in dentists' waiting rooms where CHILDREN CAN SEE THEM .

I still don't see how your need to not see my breasts trumps my DD's need to eat.

I still don't see why the whole tit needs to be exposed to feed a baby. I really don't understand.

Well material gets in the way. Of their mouth and nose and hands and eyes, which are all involved in feeding. How would you like to try eating a sandwich through a small hole with rustley stuff all over your face?

And it depends what clothes you wear, I just have buttoned/v-neck tops so I can pull them out over the top, why should I have to faff around with layers or special (expensive and annoying) nursing tops for your benefit?

And my daughter has switch fed since she was 8 months old, going back and forth between breasts every few seconds till she settles down to go to sleep. So it's pretty frustrating (for both of us) to try and put them back in and out constantly.

And more pertinently, why does it matter? You don't worry about how much wrist is showing when you put your hand out to pick up your fork. Why should a nursing mother get stressed about exactly how much skin is on display to please you? Especially considering that a) the baby may pick up on it and b) it could affect her letdown.

Breasts can be sexual. Breasts are not sexual when feeding babies (and even if they were there wouldn't be anything special to see from the outside). Get over it.

I breast fed everywhere and anywhere and I didn't have a problem not putting my whole tit on display.

I try to avoid showing my whole boob but frequently DS will hear something interesting and expose me to the world. Also - I have tried a blanket with all 3 of my boys and none wants to eat smothered like that. Can't really say I blame them.

Of course! It is an absolute evolutionary necessity that the human breast is designed to best fit a human baby. The match between human baby and human milk is staggeringly sophisticated - the way it changes over time for example. So too the match between breast and baby.

But we had perfectl good mecanisms before, as great apes, so why change the design. And contrary to all the BF woo stuff, all the academic research points to the current arrangement being less efficient for humans. So why the change?

As you are probably aware, the prevailing academic theory is that boobs have become alternative sex organs, once we stood erect.

I suppose we are 'designed' to be pregnant and/or lactating pretty much non-stop from puberty to menopause. So the fact that we have fat at other times would have been irrelevant in terms of extra energy expended/redundancy of processes

That is the best counter argument I've seen all thread - the issue is it is still a higher cost compared to using the original great ape method, we could get by with boobs like fried eggs and 2 inch tubes sticking out of them for milk delivery.

And what SC2987 said

im not a breast waver (im not sure ive ever seen or met one either) if i did it would be a bit like the titanic, people would drown, grown men would cling to tables lest they be swept away by the floods.

but i would be ashamed if any of my children were uncomfortable by any mother breast feeding anywhere i would have to reevaluate the messages i have passed on to them and give myself a stearn talking to because it would mean that i had passed the message that its unacceptable on to them, all my kids are very matter of fact about bf its how all the babies they have ever known have been fed.

i dont make a show of myself but i do dress in a way that makes it easy to bf without the hassle of pissarsing around with poppers buttons and the such like. and to the best of my knowledge have never been leared at (bf or not bit of a shame that)

chances are if a mother was bf i wouldnt even notice.

there is a massive difference inbetween being a breast waver and sitting there with a blanket over baby, and i personally would expect a reasonable person to be ok with something smack bang in between the two.

not being all covert if you didnt want to be but equally as such not stood up on a chair waving a flag with both breasts out whilst yelling 'oh say something go on i dare you' as the breast not currently in use waters the nearby flowers. this is england we really dont have the weather for the second option but if you could actually do it i would be mighty impressed at your multi tasking skills and coordination

Get over yourself!

Like I said, been there, don't that, got the t-shirt and spill tit milk all over it.

There is no need for over exposure regardless of you smother excuse. There id no need to smother. It's easy to feed without showing your whole tit. And that's the truth!

But you're starting from the POV that it is overexposure. Why is it? There is a wide range of normal exposure, just as there is a wide range of normal for anything human. If you wanted to hide your breasts and found it easy, that's up to you. But not everyone is you. And would you feel the need to hide it if you hadn't grown up in this society? Probably not, it would just be a non-issue.