To think that people have the principles they can afford?

[Hullygully]

Do you have, or know anyone that does, principles that would absolutely not be ditched in the event of greater wealth?

As I've become richer (although I'm by no means minted!) it's because I've worked more and so I have less time now. I drive more than I'd like because it's quicker, and I buy things like bottled water and expensive pre-prepared fruit on the run - again to save time.

I also recently went private for a hosp appointment because they could see me after 5pm.

So partly it's about money but it's also about mellowing with age. I used to be totally against private schools, and although I could afford it, I don't send my children there. BUT I accept that it's the right option for some children, and I wouldn't judge anyone who did.

Using the organic, locally sourced meat example, I think the problem only arises if you have been vocal about holding that as a principle in the first place.

If you have droned on about it and criticised others for using cheap meat, then I think it shows a real weakness of character (and principles) to then abandon that instead of switching to lentils or eating less meat.

But if eating expensively is something you have done just because you can instead of holding it up as a morally superior principle without speaking about it, then it doesn't matter if you switch to cheap meat if you have to.

I think this is less about bank balance and more about personalities. I'd have far more respect for someone who just quietly got on with upholding their principles than I woudo for someone that spoke about them at length and looked down on anyone who didn't or couldn't do the same.

Not having a system of principles is probably safer when it comes to things that cost money. That way you can never be accused of being a hypocrite!

people can have principles with or with out money though it really is about how you live your life , imo what are your principles hully are you having to give any up or adopt new ones because of a situation ,

So we're thinking of people who say

I would never WASTE money on blah blah blah

and pretend (or convince themselves) that it's not just that they don't like it, but that it's actually wrong to have it.

When in fact they would like it if they could afford it.

I would never spend £400 on a handbag, M&S is good enough for the likes of me, no need to show off, it's just being flash, probably made in the same factory anyway

post Lottery win

Just feel the leather, it really is better quality, it's totally worth paying for the very best

no, mrsjay, just being told I can't have the ones I do have because of my life.

Yy trills. Altho I think they genuinely don't know that, they have really convinced themselves.

And I really do need a system if anyone's got one?

That's it exactly Trills. People that would do that are weak and shallow IMO.

you can hold any principle you bloody well like

Why do you need a system Hully?

If you do find one, make sure it's one you will want to live with if your financial circumstances change dramatically!

How about the principle of giving money to charity? You can keep that principle no matter what your income, as it will be valid if you donate 10p a month or £1000 a month.

trills

But what if your actions contradict it?

eg can you be anti private medicine on principle, but use if for convenience?

(I don't do this btw!)

I suppose I need a system because my life has changed but not my principles and maybe it all needs an overhaul or something

I don't know

They're not weak and shallow, they are just self-deceiving. It's more comfortable to believe that you don't want or don't like or don't approve of something than to admit that you would like it but can't afford it.

If I had lots of money I would buy whatever handbag I liked the look of, and not bother checking if it was £40 or £400. Currently I have to check the price tag.

I haven't won the euromillions btw

That's what I'm agonising about trills.

Are they self-deceiving?

Or genuinely principled?

How can one tell - without giving them loads of unexpected wong?

I don't know if you can tell. But if you want to give me loads of unexpected dosh and see how I change then feel free, I'll be your guinea pig :o

Am thinking back to all the social radicals I knew at Uni. Roll forward, they are all parents with houses, property etc. Somehow they are not quite so keen on all those egalitarian principles :)

There is nothing so conservative as an ageing radical, as they say.

, I buy what we can afford I do try and make sure its the best we can afford and I try and make sure its farm assured meat and i won't buy battery eggs in the past i have had to eat cheaper meat and eggs and processed cheaper food or we would starve.
, I give 30 quid a month to charity of choice and i volunteer 5 hours a week , I wont give designers money even if i could afford it im tight and often say HOW MUCH ,

My children go to went to state school they have thrived at their school DD2 especially, I did consider sending DD1 to a private 6th form military college because that was what she was wanting to do , It would mean her moving to england and boarding , she changed her mind ,

MY life has changed over the years we have more money now than ever but I think you can tweak and change to suit as long as we don't judge or look down on others who choose to live life differently ,

How can one tell - without giving them loads of unexpected wong?

Watch what people do, not what they say. Especially when under pressure.

Hully system probably sounds grander than it actually is .

But basically I break down my life into its constituent parts. My roles. Wife, mother, daughter, friend, writer, buisness woman, teacher etc etc. And I ask myself what is it I really want to achieve within each of those roles. Not just the obvious stuff, like as a writer I want to sell a lot fo books (though I do of course), but what I'm really trying to do, where I'm aiming to get to.

For example, as a mother I believe that I have a huge responsibility toawrds my DC to help them become emotionally and financially independent adults. I don't belive anyone can be trully happy otherwise.
So when I take a decision vis a vis my DC I bear that belief in mind. I don't have set principles of 'I will do this' or 'I would never do that'. To my mind that is just stupid. Instead I use steely pragmatism and ask which decision will most likely be the one that will help me achieve my ultimate goal.

Hullygully - it is perfectly possible to hold and defend political principles while recognising that you do not in fact live in a system that upholds those principles and you therefore do what you need to do in order to proceed in life.

For example, I think that schools ought to teach well enough to allow pupils to reach the standards that the schools set and/or standards that will allow them to move on to the next stage in life. That would remove the need for a lot of tutoring, which I fundamentally don't believe most pupils ought to be receiving.

However, all our DCs are tutored because their schools are not teaching well enough and/or not teaching to high enough standards.

I don't think my principles are compromised because, ultimately, I want my DCs educated to standards that will allow them to meet their potential and that is my foremost concern.

do you not think it;s the other way round? I see things on here, people saying they would eat free range if they could afford it - which IMO is perfectly valid
(sorry, no doubt this has already been said, berates self :o)

What about the argument that you are perpetuating the system thus?