To change Doctors to avoid this nurse? *I am VERY upset*

[Kayano]

It's me again and surprise purprise It is about my needle phobia. The nurse who gave me my phobia is the one who gave my baby her last lot of Jabs yesterday and I am so upset. I just need some perspective (but please be nice) as to if I am being PFB or if this is ok just so I don't get upset in the future. I'll admit here that I have pretty much copy and pasted this from my blog (which I won't link to here because of the guidelines and I am a good girl) because I simply can't bear to type it twice.

Firstly here is my background with how this nurse contributed to my phobia:

This woman should not be allowed to speak IMO. She doesn't think before she says anything and is very careless with her words.

When I was 13 I missed the Meningitis vaccinations at school. Flat out refused them at school due to my fear. My mum made me go to the GP to get the needle off the nurse. My mum came with me, such was my fear. I won't call it a phobia at this point because while I was terrified, I was going to have the needle. We walked in and my Mum explained to the nurse about my fear and how terrified I was.

The nurse called me silly and then prepared the needle. I sat still but had tears rolling down my face. The nurse (we'll call her Cow-Pat) looked at me and said:

 'You can't be so silly, if you move even a cm the needle could snap off and get embedded in your arm.'

Well that was it, I told her I was not having it and off I flounced (OK I may have mentioned breaking her arm if she came any closer with that thing)

Now I did so so well getting therapy and hypnotherapy and had needles when I was pregnant and a couple since but I am still terrified and can feel it getting worse again. DD had her first 2 injections with a different nurse and I was fine. I took my mum and even watched her get her needles and gave the baby cuddles and smiles so she wouldn't get a fear like me.

Yesterday she had her last lot of jabs. My heart sank as I walked in and saw Cow-Pat sitting there. She sat us down and instantly I remembered why this idiot should not be allowed to speak.

Cow Pat: This will have to be quick because I am very busy today. So I see dd hasn't been here for over 5 weeks?


Me: That's not right, she was here exactly 4 weeks ago


Cow Pat: 1, 2, 3... 4 oh right, you're right.


Me: .......


Cow Pat: And this is her second lot of injections (while preparing needles)


Me: No... Its her third 


Cow Pat: Oh... right. I just need to prepare the needles then. It's so easy to pick up and inject the wrong thing! Ha! And I am super rushing as it is really really busy due to the Jubilee last week.


Me: ....<strong>heart in mouth, looking pleadingly at my mum</strong> I don't think I can be here for this one

My Mum: She has a terrible phobia

(which Pat had clearly forgotten, having given me it 17 years before)

Cow-Pat: Oh dd you have got a silly Mummy. You're not going to be silly like your mummy

Seriously I could have punched her in the face (but I didn't, I just sat there feeling distressed and upset). I don't want Sophie to be scared, I don't let her see my fear, I smile at her when she has the injections, I take my mother, I do everything I can to protect her from associating needles with pain and terror and I am still deemed as 'silly'. I think I did a damn good job and Sophie didn't even cry at the first needle! Any medical professional who can describe a phobia sufferer as silly, stupid or any other lowly turn is a complete idiot!

Its now the next day and dd is too hot and have had to give calpol for the first time EVER after a needle and she has only been awake 1.5 hours. I am trying to stay calm and know she needs to rest but that stupid Cow-Pat has now got me wondering 'did she give her the right needles, did she inject her with something she shouldn't?' I checked my red book and surprise surprise the moron hasn't even filled it out! I know its normal for them to be sleepy the next day but This sleepy? I also know deep down that she has probably had the correct needles but she has upset me so much and put this doubt in my mind I have been sitting here stewing all day and sobbing as I look at DD.

So WIBU to change doctors? It isn't even my local one anyway but I'll be damned if i am in a situation where this woman could potentially try and inject me or dd again. I don't even want to accidentally bump into her in the clinic. Is this something I can complain about?

wow essay!

sorry!

Oh, AND she didn't fill in the red book huffs

Can't judge properly, because you've called her cowpat, I can't imagine you as anything more than a 7 year old having a strop however right you may or may not be.

Don't know how she can be expected to remember you have a phobia from a single incident 17 years ago. She was rude. Doubt she's injected your DD with anything poisonous, 3rd one is often when they have a bit of a reaction even if they didn't before, definitely was the case with my DD.

Cow pat? Really?

If it was me, I would move surgery. She hasnt really done anything to make an official complaint about but if she makes you this frightened then move so you dont pass your fear on to your child.
I would also go in and explain that she did not fill your red book in and could it be done as you will need this record at your new surgery.

What about getting the jabs done privately if you can't guarantee not having her in future? It does cost quite a lot of money but I've done this for flu and travel jabs and the service has been so much better than the mardy cow who does them at my local clinic! You know when the next ones should be so could save up for them?

Everything else aside - the red book is important - they should have noted batch numbers, which legs the injections went into etc. in case there's a reaction - you need to make a complaint about this at the very least.

I think you are unreasonable to have wanted to punch her in the face for calling you a "silly mummy! It sounds as if she was just trying to prevent you from having a meltdown. Having said that, I am needlephobic (have also had to have hypnotherapy) and know how irrational and distressed it is possible to become in these situations.

well her name is pat and I struggle to be creative ;P

I wouldnt expect her to remember but she is so blase and horrible in her manner. I am not silly, I have a psychological issue!

I just think she could say something as dd is growing up and I am so scared she will end up like me.

i know she hasn't injected her with poison but she shouldnt really make such stupid comments to new mothers.
I can't even think straight atm

Deep breath

and out

You did really well to even be in the room with your wee one
Folk like cow pat don't realise how hurtful and insensitive they are being especially given your deep fear and thats she has reinforced your terror.
Also given your fear any remarks she may have made in a "joking" way will not seem in the least bit funny to you.

My DD also has needle phobia, she is due at the dentist and has been prescribed sedatives to take an hour before as they'll need to numb her. She cant help how she reacts, its not being "silly" , I've seen her turn from a rational lucid intellegent young woman to a jibbering wreck who is hardly lucid on seeing a needle.

In the future if your dd needs any immunisations ask before who is going to do them

It is common for kids to have raised temp after jags, give her calpol and keep an eye on her

Stop calling them needles for a start? It's just making you focus on a negative. No one really likes them but we go because they protect us. An injection really insn't a big deal. Changing doctors won't help because they will still have injections . Just get over the nurse. Sorry, not very sympathetic.

A friend of mine has been suffering from luekemia and has to have regular bone biopsies from his spine. Fairy understandably, he now has a real dislike of needles to hyperventilation point. But he still goes.

You would be enraged if you had depression or ocd and someone referred to you as silly because of it. I don't see a proper phobia as being much different. Its crippling

She sounds like an idiot who needs to go on a bedside manner training course.

OP, a needle snapped off in my arm once, but it breaks off right at the top, near the plunger because there is a weak point there for that very reason. Just wanted you to know that.

the problem this time wasn't the needle/ injection (sorry about your friend)

it was the conversation and her careless words that have upset me.

I'd make the change based on the fact that it's not your local practice - the fact you don't like the nurse is just another bonus of swapping.

Psammead er.... thanks? terrified

thanks for the honestly everyone, i think i need it!

Perhaps you need to go back to hynotherapy, OP, if you can feel that your phobia is getting worse?

Speak to the Manager of the surgery. You have a needle phobia and are doing your best not to affect your DD, but you need to have a nurse who is sensitive to that and treat you with care and respect - she cannot.

If they are unable to guarantee that she will never be the one you see, then change surgeries. BUT.... when interviewing the surgery (never choose one without visiting!) explain about the phobia and what they can do to make it easier for you.

(And Cowpat is pretty mild actually - given just how terrified OP must have been through out the ordeal.)

Yanbu. Complain about her!

Ok - if the problem wasn't the injection ( it sounds like you did well to hold your dd calmly and could reassure her) the you just have to deal with the nurse. IME many nurses can be brusque to the point of rudeness. Maybe try not to take it so personally? Focus on the fact that you're only going to be in the room with her for 5 minutes and then you go and leave her behind. Whatever she says can't really have an impact because she's just not really that important to you. You don't have to take what she says to heart.

Could you ask to be attended by another nurse in the future? One who is sympathetic to your fears?

I have a needle phobia which results in my (already low) BP dropping through the floor and me passing out if they don't get the damn thing in the first time.

There is one HCA who is fab, knows me and DD, and I feel completely relaxed when being attended by her... the other nurses and HCAs are lovely too, on the whole (one is a bit of a stick-in-the-mud), and my surgery are happy to accommodate requests for specific nurses/HCAs, or more to the point to avoid specific professionals.

Yanbu-complain about her

Also if you're thinking about changing surgeries you must ask about appointment booking procedures, if they give children priority etc. to see if it will be bteer or worse than your current practice. That is much more helpful when you have young children than a surgery that won't give you an appointment for 2 weeks!

Why don't you just forget about whether you are being reasonable or not, and simply ask yourself, do you want to change your GP surgery or not? That way it's not about you, it becomes a judgement about the service you have received.

You and your daughter are fine. She has now had her last set of jabs. You don't have to have needles every time you see your GP. Neither will your daughter.

You won't be seeing this nurse every time you go to the surgery.

If you have a friendly GP, that's worth a lot more than putting up with very occasional meeting with a practice nurse or receptionist you don't like (hey we've all been there, right?).

Perhaps you could ask your GP for some counselling to help you with your phobia for your daughter's sake.

Or perhaps you could try to do this yourself through recommended reading - you will find a download here:
www.anxietyuk.org.uk/about-anxiety/anxiety-disorders/injection-needle-phobia/?gclid=COWFioSOy7ACFQ8htAod1RUNWQ

Kayano, my MIL is also called Pat, and saved affectionately in my phone as Cow-Pat!! I understand completely where you are coming from with that!!!

And yes report her, YANBU