Because I am a whiny private school parent and I am cross that my dd didn't make the team...

[nummus]

...but the PE teacher's dd did, despite being a year younger.

And I am cross about it, because the PE teacher's dd will have another year to have a go.

What team?

If the PE teacher's DD is good enough to make the team now, why shouldn't she make it now instead of having to wait another year?

Which girl is better though?

If your DD is the better of the two at whatever it is, you're right to feel aggrieved. If the PE teacher's daughter is better, then it's right she has been chosen, irrespective of age.

Unless you have seen both play and know (hands on heart not just mother view) you daughter is better then you are being unreasonable. Teams are rightly picked on merit.

Oh its just a stupid interschool running thing. She's about the same level as my dd I suppose. dd will be gutted I know and I feel sorry for her but I guess that's life. Just venting here before I have to be all cheerful and pretending that of course it doesn't matter etc etc.

Are the team's events in school hours or after school hours?

And why resent only the PE Teacher DD, why not resent all the other children who got on the team, too?

good question voles, probably just because she is from the year below whereas other girls are in the same year so that seems fairer.

Irritatingly, the offspring of PE teachers tend to be quite good at games.... all the PE teachers I've worked with tend to be more critical of their own children than of others because they are worried about exactly your sort of situation. I agree with the others that it's only fair to be upset about it if your daughter is actually better....

Well as long as the PE teachers DD fits the criteria for the team (age or whatever) then she is obv just better than your DD!

None of you are helping. I wanted a perfectly unreasonable mope and you are all being far too reasonable [sulk]

YABU to be cross
but YANBU to be disappointed. I get that all the time, and I'm not even a private school parent.

DD1's PE teacher is also the daughter of the (other) PE teacher, and clearly thinks nepotism is the way forward. Being any good seems to come much further down the list of important qualities than having a surname the teacher recognises. /

Actually Fliss is right . It's almost lunchtime!

Blinking favouritistical nepotistic aresy PE teacher cow. YANBU.

Ok??

If it helps nummus I would be feeling exactly the same as you and yes I am a competitive Parent.

if/when your dd is disappointed, I think you shouldn't put on a brave face. I always find with ds that it helps if I agree that it's not fair, and that he's right to feel crap about something. When he has a good rant and I rant along with him he forgets about it after 10 mins but if I try to be all cheery and say it doesn't matter he's upset for longer.

This could happen at state school too. But it's extra annoying if you are actually paying for her not to make the team.

If some of the kids were as competitive as their parents, we'd have no problem picking up gold medals in the Olympics

I think it depends.

In running they should have a reasonable way of testing them. It's not like a hockey team or similar where it can be hard to pick out one similar over the other.

If when they race on similar length races to what the team is doing, then your dd typically beats her, then it is unfair. If the other child typically wins then it isn't fair.

If it's evens, then don't know. There's some argument for giving the younger one a shot, in the hope having done it before they will be really good next year. There's also your argument that she'll get a chance next year.

Sue the bastards.

Thank you I feel much better now. In fact DH has just emailed me all crossly about exactly the same thing (as he has seen them race and dd beat PE teacher's dd) and I was very calming and accepting about it Thanks mumsnet.

Well done your dd

Beating someone in a race is not the same as being good enough to make the team but I expect you know that

I do know that Worra and you are right, it is just that she is so very very keen and determined (goes to every practice religiously, goes to watch matches that she isnt in) and it seems a shame to jeopardise that. Still at least I don't have to go and watch in the rain on Saturday

It is a shame but she sounds like a very determined and dedicated girl

You should be very proud because that in itself is like gold dust sometimes