To hate the term 'baby wearer'?

[MrsHelsBels74]

I don't know why it bugs me so much but I really hate it...apologies to any fans.

Joan don't get your tie dyed knickers in a twist. OP resonded to you...so how does she act as though there is only HER on the thread?

It is an irritation to me-treating them like accessories. You can wear a handbag-you can't wear a baby.

No wait, I think dick dodger had just blown my mind!!!

I can't wait to see what's next?

Fanjo flyer anyone?

holidaysarenice sometimes it means people who wear slings

but if you see a notice on your local nethuns where someone is looking to meet fellow babywearers, don't bother going unless you also co-sleep, BLW, and plan to steiner school

I describe myself as a baby-wearer, since I (and DH) only use slings and not a pushchair for DS3 (ever since the pram I got for DS2 didn't fit in the car).

I wouldn't mention it to anyone in passing, but if they were to ask eg what puschair I have, then I would just say 'none - we just babywear'.

Although it can be a part of Attachment Parenting in our case it is nothing to so with that - we don't do AP as such, nor any other parenting method (apart from Sporadic Parenting above!).

I didn't realise that describing myself in this way meant others would form bizarre opinions about me an my lifestyle/parenting etc. I think that is a bit odd, tbh. If I saw a person pushing a buggy I wouldn't assume anything about their parenting, just that they liked to use a buggy. It is just a means of transporting their baby, after all.

If it helps, I recently wore my baby into MacDonalds where he thoroughly enjoyed a Happy Meal.....complete with Fruit Shoot.

You just know that people who use the term are going to be difficult to get on with if you don't buy into the whole Baby Rearing By Slogan Kool Aid.

Avoid.

Kirsty, I rather think the op's point is what is wrong with saying "we use a sling" rather than "we babywear"?

The only time that i have heard that phrase used in an non annoying way was when a plan was being put together for babies who have medical conditions,or disability. For example, a baby withdrawing from Heroin benefits from being 'worn' constantly and that is what we would expect, whenever possible from a foster carer.

It is a phrase used by professional, for quickness and as a full explaination.

TheHouse do try to keep up, she might have responded to me, however she failed to appreciate that my response may not have been to her.

And my knickers aren't tiedyed I'm not and have never been a babywearer, or anyother labelled parenting method, unless there is one called "minimum effort possible". However it pisses me off when I see people arbitrarily picking on other groups because they are different. Today its babywearers, tomorrow its something else.

Seems to be "I've heard the term but don't really undersstand it, however I'm vaguely threatened and insecure about my own choices so I'll call them lots of names and call them stupid, thereby feeling better about myself".

It's divisive, its petty, it's bitchy. In fact its everything people like to criticise about women as a whole,, fair play for living up to that stereotype so well.

" If I saw a person pushing a buggy I wouldn't assume anything about their parenting, just that they liked to use a buggy. It is just a means of transporting their baby, after all"

well exactly, that's why "baby wearing" is so annoying!
"I use a phil and teds" = that is how I transport my child, with no implications about parenting
"I use a moby sling" = that is how I transport my child. with no implications about parenting
"I babywear" = often followed by smuggary about AP and extreme judginess about non AP or even not 100% AP

"However it pisses me off when I see people arbitrarily picking on other groups because they are different."

I think this statement is backwards

I think that most people DON'T see why a transport mode makes a distinct group, nor should it, it is the people themselves who distinctly identify as babywearers as a parenting group who are THEMSELVES judging the difference!

Nothing is wrong with saying we use a sling, but then nothing is wrong with saying we babywear either.

Why can't we say that without people making judgements about us?
Why does one word seem to have so many presumptions loaded into it?

And I have been to sling meets - believe it or not, it is just a group of normal people talking and eating cake with occasional trying on other peoples' slings. Not a hippy in sight. Just cake. Lots of cake.

"Seems to be "I've heard the term but don't really undersstand it, however I'm vaguely threatened and insecure about my own choices so I'll call them lots of names and call them stupid, thereby feeling better about myself".

It's divisive, its petty, it's bitchy. In fact its everything people like to criticise about women as a whole,, fair play for living up to that stereotype so well."

Or ...

it could just be annoying to the op (and many others on this thread) because its a very silly way of saying that you carry your baby around in a sling.

Like exoticfruits said, a baby is not an accessory.

I've been to a sling meet too, lots of judginess about buggy users!

there isn't a comparable bitching forum for buggy users

monkeymama, I respectfully suggest you are talking out of your arse!

Babywearers, at least myself and the others I know, are not the ones who are identifying ourselves as a parenting group. You lot are doing that it would appear.

(to be fair the local sling meet = the local AP group/steiner mums, they are v strict! , you either do it ALL "right" or you're not one of them! they're scary, I shall keep my slinged second baby away!)

Slow typer, that comment was to your previous post.

D'oh! Slow again, make that the post before last!

x post with kirsty, if you read back you will see that I said it sometimes just means "uses slings"
other people use it to distinguish themselves from other types of parents

which is why "babywear" is so much more "loaded" than "sling"

I am not making that connection, it is made by a SUBGROUP of people who just mean they use slings, I have said that all along, please read back before telling me which orifice I am typing from !

er, is this helping at all OP?

"it could just be annoying to the op (and many others on this thread) because its a very silly way of saying that you carry your baby around in a sling"

It doesn't though. Thats the point.

" it is made by a SUBGROUP of people who just mean they use slings,"

should read:
a subgroup of people who use slings and say babywear

Oh .

I know somebody who describes herself as a 'babywearer' and for her it is a badge of honour, a statement of her parenting style and frequently used as a sly dig at all other parents who don't parent in exactly the same way that she does

"oh, I'd never do that (let my baby whimper, my child watch tv, or eat chocolate, make my child do anything she doesn't want to blah-di-blah), but I am a bit of a baby wearer".

Then again, she does think that because she's breastfeeding that she's a laid back, hippy earth mother and it makes her alternative