To hate the term 'baby wearer'?

[MrsHelsBels74]

I don't know why it bugs me so much but I really hate it...apologies to any fans.

Until I came on here I had never heard of baby lead weaning, sleep regression, or growth spurts. In my day we just got on with it.

:o Me too. I just did what came naturally. Funnily enough, I did use slings, cos it was the best way of getting the little fuckers to shut up. I didn't know I was following some parenting method.

Until I came on here I had never heard of baby lead weaning, sleep regression, or growth spurts. In my day we just got on with it

Exactly the same here!

It's like some generations think they invented child rearing

YABU. It's shorthand that describes a group of people in a way they feel comfortable. What on earth has that got to do with you?

The sneering at snippiness at people who do thinks differently makes you look far sillier than them.

Jeez Joan she only said she hates the term!

I hate the term Dick Dodger but there you go

Joan are you a baby wearer then?

and really, if you get so insulted by the labels other people use ('its not all about you) you've got issues of your own.

Nope, but I know a bit about it and its not the same thing as using a carrier sometimes instead of a pram.

Are you a Dick Dodger?

me too, it makes me think of silence of the lambs.. or a fur stole except made of baby!

it sounds like the baby is made into a garment or accessory

also dislike what it represents, I obviously do NOT dislike people who use slings as a wider general group (why would I?), I dislike the SUB group who feel the need to distinguish themselves from other mums just because of the mode of transport they use for their baby - surely mums are mums? I've had a few run-ins with "baby wearer" group types.. they were drawn to me because I publically BF a 13 month old and used cloth nappies (and sometimes look a bit scruffy eclectic and retroey) - and they would DITCH me and literally walk away in disgust the second I said I didn't use slings and LOVE my buggy! (because they always assumed that since I ticked the nappy and BF box I'ld do slings too!??) Also on the local nethuns meet ups boards, you never see anyone looking to meet other mums who specifically use buggies, but you do see posts from women who only want to meet other "baby wearers" - WTF I don't get it? surely after you do the whole "what sling to you use, I use a " then there's not much more to say about it and the conversation will move on to normal mum things that any mum can relate to? Why segregate yourself like that? why limit yourself?

P.s. agree with earlier posts about these labels being a new thing, my mum used a sling with me, not sure she even had a buggy (not v practical living in central london hopping on and off tubes), but back then it didn't make her a certain type of mum, it was just the transport mode she happened to purchase!

She had a sling
She wasn't a "baby wearer"
Noone cared, mums didn't segregate themselves because of superficial things like that!

oh and she did BLW too, she had never HEARD of BLW though until I had DS, she just gave her baby food!

There was no attachment parenting or the one I love the most unconditional parenting when I had dd.

It was just being a parent?!

I on the other hand prefer the slapdash parenting that I do, and I'm sure DCs have not missed out by not being unconditionally parented :)

To me terms like BLW and Babywearing just smack so much of "but we have done research and we have found that anything not mainsteream is better than anything mainstream"...

I knew of a Mum on another (now defunct forum) who once, whilst crowing for the 10,000 time about the specific pram she had did say "but this shows I did my research and went out of my way to find this fabulous pram, and go to somewhere small to buy it. You can buy Graco prams in Mothercare and everyone has one".

People all over the world, for literally millions of years have been "babywearers" without it having needed a name. Now however in the UK it has fallen away from being mainstream (not the practicalities of sticking the baby in a carrier but more the spiritual bondiong/making your own slings/different styles of traditional ways of tying them etc)so now its something to be "into", almost as a hobby (shopping for, picking slings, making slings, commissioning special ones etc) rather than just a way of carrying/nurturing a baby...

So basically its not just an "I've researched it and this is the right non mainstream parenting choice for me" but also "this is my hobby now" - just see it as being similar to being into cross-stitching or quilting or baking etc...

Joan I never said I was insulted by it, I just don't like the term & if that makes me silly then so be it. You sound awfully defensive so sorry if I've hit a nerve.

I don't know any 'baby wearers' but have seen the term pop up loads whilst researching slings.

We're all different & that's what makes things so interesting but I think I'm allowed a little bit of irrational loathing every now & then!

YANBU - I loath that phrase. I was a committed sling user (around the house and out and about - until they were approaching 2 ish), particularly with DCs 2 & 3 as it made my life so much easier not to be dragging a buggy around - but the 'baby wearer' term always seems to imply to me that you are carrying the baby in the sling for some other reason than because it's easy and works with your lifestyle (for me endlessly running here and there and getting on and off crowded busses doing the school run which doesn't work with a buggy, or at home trying to prepare tea for the older two whilst holding the baby when sling is totally invaluable). It's not some ideology, it's just practicality.

I use a sling, because more practical for me (and cheaper than a pram). It's a brilliant way to carry DD around, but thats about it. If I had realised that people would look at it and think "h'mmm, baby-wearer" I'd've been put off getting one. It's a stupid, irritating arrogant term that sounds a bit cruella-de-ville for me.
But all sorts of ways of doing things have been given a label now, it makes it much easier to market them after all...

YABU because it's just a convenient label to describe how someone parents, rather than spending 10 minutes explaining their philosophy (which it can be Nelly, it's not always about practicality even if it was for you).

Would you like vegans to start saying 'I don't eat, wear, or use animal products for anti-speciesist reasons' every time their lifestyle came up?!

But YANBU in that the particular phrase does sound a bit silly.

Is it really a label to describe how someone parents?

OP, there are other people on the thread apart from you, perhaps some responses are to them? eg perhaps a response about someone being insulted is to the responder who said somehting was "grossly insulting"?

"YABU because it's just a convenient label to describe how someone parents"

is it? is it really? does it not just describe how someone CARRIES THEIR BABY! it doesn't tell me how they feed their children, how they broach the subject of birds and bees, how they deal with biting.....

SOME people use it to describe a whole range of parenting practices which DON'T apply to everyone who uses slings so its not a very good name is it?, wearing a sling is NOT a good indication of how someone parents (I love GF and will sling no2 as have a preschooler to run round after), anyway why do you NEED to have a label as to how people parent really? why separate yourself like that?

I mean it's very limiting, the mums who have become my closest friends are actually the ones who parent very differently to me in various ways. I did get "latched onto" occassionally by people who I had actual parenting practices in common with but those friendships didn't develop beyond that subject really..

My best friend couldn't be a different mother to me, we do everything the opposite way, we get on great! don't limit yourself to mothers who carry their child in the same way!

What method of parenting does the phrase baby wearing describe?

I'm bemused by the term. I've religiously used different slings for my children when babies (for practical reasons in the main) but, as others have said, it wasn't referred to as 'baby wearing' particularly.
It strikes me as fashionable in some quarters to use some of these terms now, though I may be wrong. Similarly, attachment parenting and baby led weaning, something I also incorporated naturally into weaning, in my own experience.

I too tick all the boxes, using cloth nappies, extended breastfeeding etc etc

What on earth I'd a baby wearer?

Is it simply someone who uses a sling?

My mind boggles

We'd probably need a baby wearer to tell us that holidays, and this may not be the sort of thread they'd open?