To not wake grumpy DS from nap to take him to parents for lunch?

[Snowboarder]

My mum and stepdad are off this week having been on holiday abroad for the last fortnight. I rang this morning to see if I could pop up for a coffee this afternoon with 14 mo DS as we had missed them whilst they were off.

My stepdad rang back after we'd spoken to invite us for lunch instead, so far - so good.

We had no other plans so just been playing at home this morning although DS is very grumpy as he woke up early, is teething terribly and hasn't napped over the past few days. I am really struggling to run around after him too as I'm 8mo pg and have bad back pain/ braxton hicks, plus a UTI. Basically, we're both tired and frazzled.

DS had a tantrum about half an hour ago and after a long period of tears (his, not mine), he fell asleep. Although it's only half an hour from lunchtime I thought I'd put him down in his cot for a nap as a) he clearly needs one and b) I'd tried to get him to nap over the weekend with no joy - thought I'd make hay whilst the sun was shining!

Rang stepdad to say DS had just dropped off and I was reluctant to wake him, but that they could go ahead and have their lunch and we'd be up as soon as we can (live just 5 mins away). He was very narky saying 'how long will he be asleep?' (erm, no idea!)

So, given that DS is shattered and probably won't nap at my parents house AIBU not to wake him to make the lunch date. Btw lunch with my parents is usually salad so nothing that will spoil if not eaten immediately.

sorry, but

PFB

he is 14 months, he will cope

Yanbu, he will grump all day if you wake him up. Make life easy on yourself.

YANBU. Better to nap now and get tired out again at your mum's later.
Why not just ring back and say you'll just pop in for a coffee later on?

if he is grumpy i would leave him to sleep he needs it and you do too (the break from a grumpy toddler), say you will be round sometime this afternoon they should understand

Tbh if you only made the arrangements this morning it does seem rather rude to say now that you can't make lunch.

If someone agreed to come to my house for lunch then I'd be a bit annoyed if they cancelled for this reason. But then I was always quite flexible with DS's naptimes at this age and tried to fit them round the schedule, rather than the schedule fitting round the sleeps. There's a danger you'll be in the naptime trap until he drops them altogether which is probably some time off.

YANBU, let him sleep for an hour and go up at 1? You can all have a late lunch then.

Instead of putting him in his cot why didn't you just put him in his buggy and walk round to your parents? That way he could have stayed asleep in the hallway while you had lunch, then been smiley and happy to see them by the time he woke up.

Why does lunch have to be at a fixed time ? YANBU go later if you want or get them to come to you and you put your feet up and they can bring cake !!

I was hoping I wasn't being insufferably PFB!

Yes, I know he will cope BUT why should I struggle with a grumpy miserable toddler all day (when I'm struggling already) when an hour's kip will make all the difference and will only make us 30 mins 'late' for lunch?

Is it not equally valid to say, they are in their 50s - waiting an extra 30 mins won't kill them?

Marymary that's a good idea but I'm on strict instructions from my consultant (high risk pg) not to walk any further than necessary. They only live 5 mins away in the car but on foot it's probably more like 30 at my pace and all uphill so not doable unfortunately.

Allnew I wasn't saying I couldn't make lunch at all, just that we'd be a bit late, and I couldn't say for definate by how much. I rang at 11.30, so if DS sleeps for an hour we could still be there for not long after 12.30.

You're 8 months pregnant, you're struggling, being 30 minutes late for lunch is not a big deal. YANBU.

However I would turn up on time with grumpy toddler and then have 40 winks on the sofa whilst your parents look after him.

What an idea Gladbags I should have thought of that!

I'm not normally someone who thinks the world should have to wait while a toddler has a nap but I don't think you are being unreasonable, given all the circumstances, to ask if you can be 30 minutes late today. Lunch at 12 is positively breakfast after all!

YANBU. Let him sleep, it's just a casual lunch.

Have to admit, I was thinking PFB, but with your pregnancy and other issues, I would definitely just ask them to hold lunch for a while.

I'm not resting Tunnocks i'm on here wasting time until DS wakes up again canvassing the opinions of you fine MNetters!

YANBU to let him sleep. It doesn't seem PFB to me to want to avoid a situation where he is overtired and miserable and making lunch no fun for anyone.

To add, if it was a longstanding arrangement, or if I wasn't almost on my knees here anyway, I'd probably wake him up and deal with the consequences later but just thought I'd try and make things easier for myself today - was hoping my parents would understand!

Let him sleep and go around to your parents a little later on. Nothing at all PFB about that in my opinion.

YANBU he is poorly and you are exhausted and you could both do with DS having this nap. I'm not usually one for letting children's schedules dictate your actions but in these circumstances I think what you're doing is for the best.

Depends on the child as to how well they will cope in this situation.

But you are 8 month pregnant - your call if you want to cope with a grumpy child when you don't have to. I would have just rung parents and said, we'll skip lunch timing not working today - will try and pop in later to see you.

Sod that, tired grumpy 14 month old (I have one too) and 8 months pg. I'd leave him. Nothing pfb about that

therockenholt I did tell stepdad that as I couldn't be definate about how long we'd be they could 'get on' and have their lunch and we'd join them as soon as we could.

YANBU let sleeping grumpy toddlers lie.