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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked my friend to put clothes on her potty traing child while at my house?

92 replies

dreamsofshopping · 09/06/2012 19:14

First post so here goes! Invited a good friend and her dd to lunch and play date yesterday. She is potty training at the moment and had an wee so she changed her and left her naked. In my living room. She had a poo on the potty then still didn't put clothes on. She sat on the carpet and my cushions I had to asked her to pop some clothes on her in the end. I'm not fussy but I was mindful when I was potty training my ds while out and about. She seemed annoyed when I asked. It's been bugging me, Aibu?! I had to wash the bloody cushions too.

OP posts:
GrahamTribe · 09/06/2012 20:54

"I never used a potty in the living room as i used a toddler seat on the toilet as i cant see the point of teaching them to use a potty and then teaching them to use a loo."

cantspel, you and me both.

5madthings · 09/06/2012 20:56

well i wouldnt be bothered by a naked toddler in my lounge, or them using hte potty in the lounge, sometimes when they are just learning when they need to go, they need to go so if you have the potty close by they use it or else they end up weeing on the way to the bathroom.

in our house the toilet is upstairs and in the early days of potty training we had a potty downstairs so it was quick and easy to get to, BUT i would NEVER assume that i could let my child be naked in someone elses house or that they could use the potty in the sitting room. i would ask where best to put the potty and would keep my toddler in pants at least, if they were in a garden iwould maybe let them be bare bum but not in someone elses house, its part of children learning what appropriate and where, naked at home and garden fine, but not in someone elses house, tho i do have a couple of close friends who would be ok with it, as i would also be ok wiht naked toddlers in my house, bums wiped tho!

Changethatbulb · 09/06/2012 20:57

trixie123 I am not at all wee/poo/hygiene phobic but you shouldn't arrive at a friends house and behave as the OP described. I believe the main point being made was the child was left naked after using the potty, not the actual potty use.

I have a son that had to use a commode downstairs for months when he was very ill. I had no problem with the commode being in my living room. He sat on it, he shat, peed, vomited in it. I dealt with it. Didn't bother me one bit.

A potty is a different matter. It can be whipped out appropriately if needed. Accidents will happen, but you don't leave your child naked afterwards.

If this thread is a wind-up, it's had done it's job in really winding me up Grin

perfumedlife · 09/06/2012 21:00

YANBU!

I agree with Cantspel, cannot see the point in the two stage potty/loo training. I took ds straight to the loo and it was done in a week. Have endured other people's kids using the potty in the middle of a restaurant before. Foul and rude.

And why are some folk leaving their kids naked when training? Does that help? Just interested.

DowagersHump · 09/06/2012 21:02

Am I reading this thread wrong or are people complaining about a naked child sitting on their sofa and having to wash the sofa cushions afterwards?? Really? Good god

Original poster
dreamsofshopping · 09/06/2012 21:02

Our living room goes into our dining room and my dh was eating.... it was a stinking one! It was just a strange situation. Carpets are quite new which she is aware of. loo is only next door to the living room she wasn't missing out on anything by going in there!

OP posts:
GrahamTribe · 09/06/2012 21:02

"Have endured other people's kids using the potty in the middle of a restaurant before."

Jeez, I've heard it all now! Shock

Changethatbulb · 09/06/2012 21:02

"I never used a potty in the living room as i used a toddler seat on the toilet as i cant see the point of teaching them to use a potty and then teaching them to use a loo."

Totally agree. Apart from the commode situation, none of my children have ever had a potty. There is an upstairs loo and they learnt how to use it.

Sirzy · 09/06/2012 21:05

I am about to start potty training DS heaven help us and wouldn't even consider getting out a potty at someones house without asking them, and certainly wouldn't do it in a restaurant.

I do agree with the idea of straight to toilet, but with no downstairs toilet we will need to have a strategically placed potty downstairs at home for the first few weeks at least.

Perfume, I read something to suggest that a few days naked means they get used to weeing without having to stop to take pants down, then a few days just knickers/underpants and then into trousers. (No idea if that works though!)

Original poster
dreamsofshopping · 09/06/2012 21:08

My sofa is leather, she sat on an individual cushion just to clarify! Was originally moaning about my friends reaction to me asking about putting pants on her dd. Now upset about the crap in the living room :)

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 09/06/2012 21:12

Thanks for explaining Sirzy. I can't imagine that makes it easier long term as they are getting used to naked, then to pants, then to trousers. Seems daft. And messy.

cantspel · 09/06/2012 21:16

I dont see how leaving them naked helps and so never did.

The point of it is to teach them not to wee and poo in their pants so how can they learn that if they arn't wearing any?

I just went for cheapo primark pants and trousers that were easy to take down. Tracksuit bottoms were ideal and quick to dry if they did have a accident.

YouBrokeMySmoulder · 09/06/2012 21:19

I wouldn't care as long as she had wiped tbh, theres normally toddlers running about in various states of undress when friends come over. But then we have wooden floors downstairs and not extremely impractical new carpet.

I would rather a potty training child sat on the potty than didn't make it to the toilet. I don't know what everyone is having such a flap about tbh. We have a relaxed attitude to it all and touch wood my dc never have stomach upsets etc.

pictish · 09/06/2012 21:22

If the kid was wiped I wouldn't give a toot.

Original poster
dreamsofshopping · 09/06/2012 21:28

If you are a guest at another person's house don't you have to show some level of consideration though? I would?

OP posts:
YouBrokeMySmoulder · 09/06/2012 21:29

The OP says 'a good friend' so not just a guest.

AgentZigzag · 09/06/2012 21:30

If you're not bothered if they were wiped, wouldn't it cross your mind that other people might be?

nonapandknackered · 09/06/2012 21:33

OP YANBU. It was very rude of her to assume that it was ok for her DC to wee on your floor or sofa, which is what it basically amounts to!

I don't understand the fuss people are making about having a potty in the lounge, though. Yes ideally a child would go straight onto a toilet from the word go, but in the early days having a potty handy must be the best way to go, especially at someone else's house.

I haven't started training DS yet, but when we do it, there is no way we'll be spending more than two days at home. After that we'll be out and about with the portable potty (as it's not as though there are public loos on every corner, is it?).

I was at a friend's house recently and the hostess's DD was in the middle of potty training, as were two other kids there. She had a potty in the lounge and they all took it in turns to use it. Even my DS asked to use it as he saw his friends doing it (it was all wees, btw). It was very sweet and no-one was in the least bit offended.

pictish · 09/06/2012 21:35

I never did the naked thing while potty training my three. They need to learn to cope with their clothing at the same time imo, so it would never have happened. I can't imagine doing it.

But if my good pal did, I wouldn't bat an eye.

Sirzy · 09/06/2012 21:36

Thats different if its agreed by all there though. To go into someone elses house and place a potty in the middle of their lounge without asking is rude.

nonapandknackered · 09/06/2012 21:52

You're right, Sirzy. If you're going to go to someone's house when you're at the stage when you need to have a potty in the lounge, then when arranging that visit you should say "we're right in the middle of PT so is it ok if we have the potty parked in the corner of the lounge?".

But I would absolutely expect them to agree!

Original poster
dreamsofshopping · 09/06/2012 22:03

I really didn't care about the potty it was in the loo for other children anyway as ds is (thankfully) trained now. It was the no discussion about naked dd which made me rather surprised. In the early stages of training they wee everywhere and let's be honest its not great.

OP posts:
DowagersHump · 09/06/2012 22:10

Op - did the DD actually wee on your cushions? I'd be pissed off about that, yes. But naked children? Never.

Original poster
dreamsofshopping · 09/06/2012 22:42

She had a wee in her clothes which were taken off, but she wasnt cleaned. She then had a poo in the potty in the living room (no wipe seen) she was then naked and was left to play for about 15 mins. I thought she would get her changed but she didn't. She then sat down on the sofa/cushion. I then asked if she could put some clothes on and my friend seemed surprised. Really didn't want her dd to wee again.

OP posts:
Original poster
dreamsofshopping · 09/06/2012 22:43

On the sofa that is!

OP posts: