To wonder how to introduce a sex toy

[noidea21]

I went into ann summers yesterday - just to have a look at the underwear and was really surprised at the variety of customers and goods on sale - got me wondering if we are the only couple not having kinky sex.

I do quite fancy the idea of introducing using a vibrator or dressing up. However, despite having a good relationship I have no idea how to introduce it and what dh would make of it. I dont want to cause offence - as I do enjoy our sex life as it is. Although tbh with 3 kids, we dont get much time for sex anyway.

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Why don't you just ask dh, he'll probably love the idea

I dont get it
You have married this man, had three kids, presumably eat, sleep and fart in front of each other, but you cant say to him, 'hey love, fancy getting me a rabbit to play with?'.

yes monkeyface that is about the size of it - feels uncomfortable to say that.

Out of interest-I take it you didn't buy anything whilst in there? I'd feel it was rude to leave empty handed with the array of goodies on offer-impossible!!!

Why? I just ordered one online, it arrived, my husband found it on our bedside table once he arrived home from work Its not 'kinky' either, its very tame, almost standard nowadays. In fact, I dont know a single female friend who doesnt have one!

Maybe I am just prudish

Yes well after the ann summers trip I am thinking it is almost standard.

Wait til bedtime:
"DH, this is bunny", "Bunny, this is DH"

the thing is monkeyface if she says "hey love, fancy getting me a rabbit to play with" she could end up with more than she bargained for - and having to buy a hutch!

Noidea - just take him along to noidea21

um, or your local anne summers

I went mad at him once coz I found a porn mag (years ago)so might smack if double standards if he arrives home from work to find a vibrator on my bed side table!

Buy one, get it out at pivotal moment, ask dh if hes fancies figuring out how toe use it. together. Don't be afraid to laugh and be a bit silly! :)

I just wonder if anyone else understands how if it is not someting we have done in 15yrs together he may see it a bit odd to bring it up now. I am not sure it would be appropriate to just whip it out mid sex - the trip to anne summers may be the better option . But that has its own issues as we would have to be at the shops alone. I either go alone if we are ever there together we have the kids in tow.

I suppose I am just dithering- he is away on a stag night tonight so maybe I'll just get one an announce tomorrow it was it was on offer (he always likes a bargin!)and I thought it might be fun. I suppose he can only say it is not his thing. I might feel a bit silly but I suppose that is the worst that could happen.

If the subject has never come up during your 15yrs together, could you not just get an Anne Summers catalogue and pretend it was delivered as junk mail?

That way you can raise the subject and perhaps browse it together, if you feel awkward about just asking him outright?

Get a vibrating ring He gets pleasure then too.

Is it true that most couples use sex toys though, or is that just your impression?

Why not start off buy surprising him in a costume?
(ship kids off to grans/grandads/ friends for the night)
Get all dressed up - making it an offer he is very unlikely to refuse
Seeing you like this will open the door to more adventures together

We have used the vibrating ring thing a couple of times think it came free with some condoms - but I did not like it- usually always organism but couldn't- it felt nice but seemed to seemed to overstimulate if that makes sense.

I say I fancy trying dressing up - I do the underwear bit now, he'll something buy me basque type things or stocking but Iwas thinking of going a step further maybe a french maid outfit or something. He has joked a few times about a school girls outfit - but cant say Iam comfortable at 42 in that!

I think that hould be orgasim

So get the french maid outfit and see how he reacts.

depends on what you are thinking of buying, if its a large strap on I suggest lots of lube and very gently

If your really think he'll react badly to it, or you genuinely don't know what his response will be, next time you're out (alone) make a point of walking past an AS and say 'ooh, shall we go in'

Bet you don't have to ask twice!

Vibrating rings I find to be a bit rubbish!

Just my opinion like.

I dont think he will react badly as such - I suppose i just feel embaressed and I dont want him to think me not happy with the sex I am getting or just see me differently - I know that sound ridiculous - he is my dh for godsake.