To wonder how to introduce a sex toy

[noidea21]

I went into ann summers yesterday - just to have a look at the underwear and was really surprised at the variety of customers and goods on sale - got me wondering if we are the only couple not having kinky sex.

I do quite fancy the idea of introducing using a vibrator or dressing up. However, despite having a good relationship I have no idea how to introduce it and what dh would make of it. I dont want to cause offence - as I do enjoy our sex life as it is. Although tbh with 3 kids, we dont get much time for sex anyway.

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If he's already tried a cock ring and he's 'joked' about you dressing up, I'd say he's probably very much up for it.

Perhaps he's just worried about what you might think?

good point

Start off small-the pocket pleaser is a good little vibe, think a rabbit may be a little ambitious and very daunting for a first experiment (don't really rate them myself anyway)

Just go out one afternoon, minus the kiddies, have lunch, couple of glasses of champagne, swing by a sex-shop, and then go home and have rampant, wild sex.

Buy yourself a rabbit, great fun for both of you, and you'll love it.

Men are visual creatures so even if he doesn't get any toys for himself, he'll enjoy using it with you.

Nothing daunting about a rabbit!

I rate them highly and have enjoyed upgrading my model over the years.

My husband laughed when I repeatedly used to say 'that's the best £20 I ever spent'

Perhaps he's worried that if he actually comes out and asks you to dress up for him, you might think he's saying you're not 'sexy enough as you are', if that makes sense?

As you're saying you'll be the one wearing the outfit, he probably thinks it's down to you to feel happy enough to suggest it.

If that's the case then he sounds like a very thoughtful guy.

Yes bamboo but clearly you're quite familiar with sex toys so you wouldn't find it daunting-from the perspective of a 1st timer I think it could be a little off putting. I had something similar & lobbed it in favour of a much smaller & more pleasant vibe-think the rabbit was falsely made to be the one to have from it's mention in SATC........

It was my first sex toy barred

If you have already tried a cock ring I really can't see why you are thinking how to mention a vibrator..

Fair enough-like I say I think they are shite-but that is my opinion.

OP another idea could be to host an AS party, that way you'll be able to broach the subject with hubby, have a wicked night with the girls giggling over the undies & toys on offer & (this is the best bit) as the hostess you get a discount on your purchases!!

I agree about starting small. I have just hada look at their web site - and i am thinking one of this smaller things in the silver or gold would be less daunting.

Get your mate to have an Ann summers party, joke with him about what's on offer then order it and laugh you were drunk and bought a toy chest! If he doesn't like it you can laugh about the shit you do when you are drunk!!!

X post!

A cock ring is less common than a vibrator so I'd say if you can use those you can buy a little rabbit. ;-)

But isn't a cock ring more of a 'shared' toy?

I also can't believe I'm entering into this discussion with you BiP

Haha, come on now, don't be shy GM. ;-)

I think you're right. But then I think most men would be happy either watching their partner using a vibrator, or using one together. Or even knowing that their partner uses one when they're not there. I know mine does!

I just used their, there and they're in one sentence in the right context. So many people I'd like to read it and take heed!

The cock ring - was just this thing that came free with a pack of durex years ago. We get the shopping delivered so it came with that. We both looked at and said we would give it a go - but as said before although it was pleasant for me at first I just found it a bit much and couldn'tcome with it.

The vibrator idea seems more risky - prob not the right word - as i worry it is like saying his cock is not doing it for me- coz it does - i just think it would be fun to do more - and as I said it appeared in Ann summers that it is quite common.

Dh has joked a few times about doing anal sex - I said i would have a go if he really wants to - but I am not keen- I think he has realised this so has not pushed it.

OP you're not alone my DP is a bit, erm, difficult to convince things can be fun outside the norm.

At least your man is dropping hints (very strong ones by the looks of things) as to what he's into and what he enjoys, i'm having to guess with mine!

So just to reassure you, not everyone is buying up Ann Summers :)

The fact he's suggesting things shows he's open to try new things.

I went out for dinner with DH a few nights ago and broached a conversation about porn, off the back of a thread here. Not something we'd normally have a deep conversation about so I can understand your nerves but I can say with 99% certainty that he won't feel threatened by the suggestion of a vibrator. Especially if you have a good sex life as it is.

Have a and do it. :)

Ann Summers might have been so busy when you went due to the influx of women reading Fifty Shades of Gray!

Am I seriously the only one who says to DH, the minute he walks in from work, 'take the kids love, Im having a bit of alone time with my vibrator and youporn? Best part of the day.

Do I worry about hurting his feelings/pride? Do I fuck, any more than Im hurt when he tells me to get up and out of bed so he can wank over xxx.

Its all a bit of fun

Bloody hell - no monkeyface thats all a bit much much for me - hate the idea of dh viewing porn and wanking - all though I have mellowed to it over the years BUT I did make a huge fuss about it some years ago when I found a porn mag. I dont think I would react so badly to it now - but I was pg with dd2 at the time- and felt very threatened.

My dh bought me my first vibrator as a mother's day pressie!