to think this woman has no need to apologise for ending her mat leave when she chooses

[lecce]

I am a teacher and am getting seriously pissed off with the comments from my colleagues about a teacher who has been off for about a year and is coming back to work a week before the six-week holiday. She is doing this, I assume because 5 years ago I did the same, because you are not allowed to say you are returning to work during the 6-week break (because you can't really go back) but if your entitlment runs out during that time you face a few weeks with no pay at all.

I assume that this woman, like me, cannot afford the few weeks with no money coming in but wants to maximise the time she can have off. People I work with are saying what a "nerve" she has etc but surely she is doing what is right for her and her family and is not cheating anyone? After all, it's not her fault that this is how the dates have worked out and that there is a 6-week holiday at this time, is it?

I don't really know why I'm so bothered (except I do because several of the people who go on about it were here when I did more or less the same, so I assume they talked about me in the same nasty way they talk about her but have now forgotten my circs) but it depresses so much that people (and women in particular) are so bitchy about each other and quick to believe the worst.

Yes, I know they are entitled to grump but I suppose that is half the reason for my post - why does everyone have to moan and bitch about each other? It is pretty draining to be around.

My doctor once asked me if I was planning to get pregnant because she knew "what teachers are like - planning family around holidays" I thought it was bizarre in the extreme.

I might just be over sensitive and I am sure I am wrong but teaching must be one of the few jobs where you family planning has to take into account eveyone else: supply staff, colleagues and pupils as well as you and your family.

Schools are all about family, no?

But, in the end let them whinge.

that's why teachers start trying to conceive in jan-feb, to maximise their mat leave. coming back before the hols gets you back into the swing, and gets you paid.

I find that attitude quite offensive actually. DH and I struggled for years with infertility issues. Timing was never an option.

Well I will be doing the same. My 9 months mat leave will finish about a week before the summer holidays (next year). I wish I could have planned this but it took us 2 years of trying to actually get pg and lots of stress and upset along the way, if only it was that easy!

I hope people won't be bitching behind my back but the bottom line is this is how it has worked out and I can't have 6 weeks unpaid just because it is the holidays. None of the staff or children will be put out and infact will prob gain as I will be around to cover them and give them extra time out of class.

How is this a scam NovackNGood

Many people sadly can't bear to see another person have anything good happen to them. It's a strange attitude, but basically comes down to jealousy and a feeling of "I want you to be as miserable as me".

The same kind of people whinge about social housing tenants paying fair rents - "my landlord is screwing me, you should be screwed too".

"but even if she were 'kicking out' a supply, I really think most secondary-age pupils would cope fine with this for the last week, and fail to see what it has to do with parents at all ."

I guess if "coping" with something crap to accommodate a teacher's paid long holidays is something you think is acceptable for your pupils, you're not the kind of teacher most parents want for their children.

If your only consideration is maximising your time off and pay and you care fuck all for your job and making sure it is done well in your absence, then you'll have to understand why people might think you were being a teeny weeny bit selfish.

Someone who couldn't afford the summer off, but who was a considerate colleague, employee and teacher would think about coming back at a time that would not be a complete pita for everyone else.

Why is it offensive to say people plan for when they will have a baby

What would be a better time? Surely the last week (when lets be honest all exams etc are finished and not masses of important stuff is done) is better than just before exams or similar. Would a teacher who has left her baby earlier than she wanted and is worried/upset about it going to be the best thing for the pupils?

Seems perfectly fine to me - she's going to be spending a significant chunk of that 6 week break getting lesson plans etc ready for the new term isn't she? Having a week to get back into the groove first is perfectly sensible.

"she can brew up and tell us all stories about her lovely little boy."

Is she actually doing any work?

Sorry about the terrible grammer - baby brain is taking over already

"Would a teacher who has left her baby earlier than she wanted and is worried/upset about it going to be the best thing for the pupils?"

:o

Weird how people conveniently feel OK around the time they start losing money if they don't feel OK.

Athinginyourlife What a remarkably insulting post! I/my colleague are not forcing parents or pupils to accomodate our long holidays - those holidays are part of our job and cannot be moved. Why should anyone have to take them unpaid whaen our annual pay is adjusted to take them nito account?

I do, as you so charminly put it, care more than "fuck all" for my job, but I'm afraid I care more for my own family. If ensuring that there is food on the table for my dc and that my mortgage is paid is a "Teeny bit selfish" then sobeit.

On what planet would someone who couldn't afford the summer off, put avoiding mildly inconveniencing colleagues and pupils before supporting their family?

Apologies for all the typos .

But I have no option after 9 months, before then don't think I would want to leave him/her and certainly not if I felt forced into it because I'm thinking about other people - sorry but I have spent years thinking about the children I teach and their needs/families/situations, often putting them before my DH (and causing several arguments because of it). This is one time it is about me and my family and our needs.

Disclaimer - until I have the baby I have no clue how I'm going to feel; maybe I'll be begging to come back after 6 months

I dont understand what she's doing 'wrong', to me it seems a sensible thing to do. Surely it doesn't affect anyone else?

What difference does it make to anyone else?

Bloody hell Athing did a teacher sell yo a dodgy car or steal your cat?
You don't seem to have very high opinion of them.
How do you plan such a short window anyhow?
I had no idea people planned for babies to be born at certain times of year at all until I joined MN

Former supply teacher here - I never got paid for school holidays (received quite a high daily rate, instead, to account for this and lack of sick pay), so it would have made no difference to me.

It's actually a good idea for her to return at this time - she can catch up with everything and start to prepare for September.

The last week before the six week break is dead time in a lot of schools - no kids will be suffering as a result of this.

When I first started teaching, I worked in a school where I had once been a pupil and I was horrified by the utter bitchfest that was the staff room. Somehow, I really did expect the reasonable face they presented to the world, to be genuine, but my former teachers turned out to be as spiteful and mean as any other person is capable of being. It was a rude awakening.

OP, I urge your colleague (and you) not to give any thought to this kind of nastiness - some people just can't find it in themselves to be happy for someone else, when things go well for them.

I used to be a medical secretary. My friend went off on mat leave and when she came back her colleagues never spoke to her again. Ever.

That's awful.

That is terrible MrsDeVere

YANBU, but you can name any day you like as your 'back to work' day. Mine was first day of easter hols. Secretary sorting out the paperwork did the face, but the head signed it off no problem at all. I think 'obviously' (with a smile) was her only comment

It is allowed and perfectly legal. But I think people are entitled to complain about it if they want to. Especially the teacher covering who will lose the summer pay. But that's life I suppose.