...to regard this as 'cheating'

[monkeyslut]

Recently separated from H of 7 years (together for 11 years).

He wants to make a go of it.

Found out during a drunken night out (with him and a couple of mutual friends) that while I was out of the country 3 years ago that he licked the nipple of a (no longer a) friend's girlfriend at the time. He has always said that that time away from each other he did a lot of drugs/drink as he missed me and our DD (I was applying for visa and awaiting result, took longer than expected).

Would you consider that as cheating?

What got me most though is that I had to hear about this from someone else. We had a very frank, open discussion not even a week before where I had asked him if he had done anything at all with anyone else. He had replied 'no', but had always assumed that I had cheated on him. He has 'issues' with trust apparently He had forgotten about the Nipplegate...funny how his friend hadn't

So just drunken tomfoolery, and as it was 'just a nipple' not considered cheating?

Or am I correct with my latest text to him; 'Go fucking lick a nipple you cheating bastard' (after being shitty with me for not answering the phone as I was trying to get our children to sleep)

If the nipple licking was a public silliness, it shows his immaturity.

The date? Much more serious. ESPECIALLY if he hasn't spent that much on you. I would have a real problem with that.

And the 2/3 times a day? That shows that he is trying to fill an inner void.

Take care, Monkey.

OK, any man who says a relationship is 90% is bad news.

He licked someone's nipple and you didn't find out for three years.

He blamed you for him taking drink and drugs (I was missing you so muhc, bleat, bleat)

He took someone else on a date less than 4 weeks after spitting from you, hid it from you, and then lied about it to your face.

He wants sex 2-3 times a DAY when you will be trying to raise a toddler.

Why won't he be raising the toddler too? Surely that will leave him too tired to shag anyone 2-3 times a day?

He is angry with you for not dropping everything to speak to him when you are actually put your child (HIS child) to bed.

He ASSUMED you had an affair- this is just an excuse so he can disrespect you in anyway he wants without having a conscience.

Oh monkey, please don't get back with him. You deserve so much better and so does your DD. Do you really want this man as a blueprint and role model for her future relationships?

MrsClown apologies for not answering your direct question earlier, I've only just come back to the thread. Just because I think a public lick on a nipple is not cheating, doesn't mean I would find it acceptable behaviour from my DH or that 'standards of male behaviour have slipped and my bloke would have to have full sex with someone else before I left him' (to paraphrase your post). 'Not cheating' is really the minimum requirement in a relationship, isn't it? 'Not being a twat' is another minimum requirement, and if my DH was a drunken twat who licked other women's nipples and didn't care about my feelings then I would choose not to be with him. I hope that explains my attitude and reassures you about the future of society!

monkeyslut you can do much better (as you know.)

MsOliveOyl - it would take more than your sarcasm to reassure me about the future of society, believe me.

What an absolute catch this twat sounds like
The nipple lick would piss me off immensely , it wouldn't however be classed as cheating in my pretty loose book. This is not the real issue anyway, as other people have pointed out, this is small fry compared to his attitude towards you in general.
As for the 2-3 times a day-let him do everything that you do in a day then see if he can manage it.........

The nipple licking could have been very drawn out and sexual. Even if it wasn't I'd still consider it cheating.

I wouldn't say it's cheating but it's definitely not being faithful is it.

I would consider this cheating, but monkey, like others have said, i think the issues with him are much more involved than the nipple lick...

Is he quite young? He certainly sounds damn immature...

TBH, only you can make the decision about whether to 'make a go of it' as he's put it, but after all the revelations i think you'd be mad.

monkey- please come back assure us you aren't going to make a go of it with this dreadful man who doesn't respect you. You don't want him as a role model to your DD!