To not understand the need for a birth plan.

[MsKittyFane]

Surely you make decisions based on what is happening at the time?
I think it's important to educate yourself and have certain preferences for type of pain relief but why are some people so prescriptive?
Each birth is different and who knows what intervention your baby will need when the time comes?

Agreed with anastaisia - in pain and worry in the middle of labour isn't the time to think about how you feel about the merits of different types of intervention or do research.
My MWs were very much in favour of a bullet-pointed A4 birth plan summarising my medical issues and indeed my hand-held notes had a page set aside for drafting one on. It came in really useful after 30 hours of labour when MrNC was getting tired and confused, I was exhausted, and about a dozen new staff were trying to catch up on my history - the MW just gave them the birth plan sheet and said 'ignore the notes, just read this'

So as I'd put that I was terrified of the idea of an epidural but realised there weren't any other options for pain relief available to me if water didn't cut it, they were very nice about suggesting it. I'd also said I wanted to be asked explicitly for consent before touching me in any way whatsoever, unless I was incapable of answering in which case talk to MrNC. The staff followed this perfectly and enabled me to relax. Otherwise I'd probably have curled up in a ball and screamed at anyone near me, which wouldn't be good with an epidural!

Second time I had the same plan only with extra warning that I throw up loads after birth, and though I don't think it was ever seen, they ensured MrNC was given a pile of those cardboard bowls and another chap was standing by to lift me, so I could puke without choking. got through about 30 of them...

I think there is a huge difference between a prescriptive birth plan and writing down a few notes that the mw's dealing with you during labour (and also to an extent your dp) can read.
I am expecting dc2 in 3 weeks and have just done mine with the community mw (there is a section for it in my notes). All it basically states is start with tens as early as possible (more to remind me than anyone else), would like to be offered a birthing pool if available at mlu. Don't want pethidine due to bad experience last time. managed 3rd stage, vit k for baby, help with bf as it went disastrously wrong last time.
If something does go wrong then I trust my dp to advocate for me if I can't do it myself. I'm all for going with the flow but I see no harm in pointing people in the general direction you want to go in.

I agree that writing a birth plan can inform and educate but I also think that people can get a bit obsessed and unrealistic.

Can I just ask when during the pregnancy are you asked to make a birth plan? I was in and out of hospital from 25 weeks both times and was never asked to make one.

I wrote one for DC1's birth, saw how much notice the hospital staff took of it, and then didn't bother for DC2.

Ace I was never told to write a birth plan by the midwife who saw me during pregnancy.
I read a lot, informed myself and came to the conclusion that there were a million and one variables and that deciding I would like this and that wasn't helpful until I was actually in labour.

Oh. Well tbh I don't see the point anyway. It's not like you have that much control over it at the time. Well I didn't anyway. I spent 3 1/2 hrs in an ambulance when I was in labour the first time and didn't have a choice of pain relief as there was none to be had. I won't be writing one this time either. The likelihood of having another preemie is v high (two already) and really I just want a healthy baby not too bothered about theanner in which it arrives :o

Mine had things like DH wanted to cut the chord and I wanted DD delivered straight onto my bare skin. There was a note about pain killers, but I can't remember what it said. The midwife read them and was very responsive to everything I wrote and it made me feel more in control

When do the midwives who have never seen you before read these birth plans?

sparkling it was when I got there and handed my maternity notes over last time.

I wrote two the first time.
The one for the midwives said 'No Pethidine, want to breastfeed, oral vit k and DH to cut cord'.

Needless to say I had pethidine but the rest happened as I wanted itapart from the forceps, tear, pph etc.

The one for DH said 'Before you say anything to me in labour imagine squeezing a melon out of your penis'. DH was very supportive and quiet

DD2 I didn't bother, she was an ELCS though.

I am really impressed Ninja. I don't think with either DS a midwife would have done even if I had done a birth plan.

I'll let you know in about 3 weeks if it happens this time!

I think the problem with birth plans is if they are too prescriptive. To a certain extent you have to go with the flow. I did have one. Can't remember what was it in, except when I arrived at hospital I still hadn't made any decision over tearing v episiotomy. The midwife almost pinned me down an asked me to make a decision. I then have a vivid memory of a doctor shoutiong "cut, cut!" and the midwife calming saying "no, she wants to tear."

Crosses legs at 'wants to tear' Scholes.

Good luck Ninja.

YABVU, OP. Mine was ignored by the MW with my first birth, but was just the NHS one that came in the notes (by ignored, I mean being injected with painkillers without my consent, having the injection for the third stage without consent, having a head monitor on DD without consent, and still not knowing to this day if I had a tear or an episiotomy as both things are on the notes in contradictory fashion. Ignored.)

So for the second and third, I started discussing birth "options" (in fact, telling them what was going to happen) at booking in. My birth plan was written with the MW who delivered DS1, and with DS2 the one I saw for every appointment (but who missed the birth because she was on holiday - however, her replacement was equally fab.)

It was followed to the letter. No decisions were made without my input, and I went against hospital protocol with the full support of my MW, because she was able to read the birth plan, talk to me and realise that I did know what I was talking about.

I would not "go with the flow" if going with the flow means conforming to over medicalised hospital policy, that is what led to DD being in distress and me having a horribly traumatic time first time around. A prescriptive birth plan and masses of communication between me and my care givers enabled me to have good births, and I'm glad of it - but it would be totally impossible in a hospital setting.

If you don't like prescriptive birth plans, don't have one, but try to understand that people who do often have very good reasons for doing so.

In Danish it's called a wish list, which I think is a better term for it than plan. Leaves room for maneouvre (sp?) if things don't go to plan.

Btw why is it that women who don't want epidurals report being chased around the delivery suite with a great big needle (so to speak) and those who do want one report being point blank refused, tricked and lied to?

Honest question. Have never had a baby and curious.

I had no birth plan and 1x2 hour AN class, 99% of which was totally irrelevant to my pregnancy unfortunately - it left me in tears about the 'right' way to give birth, knowing i couldnt have that.

I have pre-existing diabetes and stage 4 endo. Multiple abdo surgesies have left massive adhesions. These two factors led to an induction at 38 weeks. A good friend of mine also has diabetes - he baby died at 36+5. so by the time I got to the induction I was in a right state!

Before 1st pessary lovely MW went through all the ACTUAL options i.e. Bit K, managed 3rd stage. We then went through 'possible' options - pain relief preferences ('no idea, give me what I want ASAP if I need it'), skin to skin (DH to do if I'm not able) and feeding (be aide of diabetes and risk to DS in first hour of hypoglycaemia, I turned up at the induction with around 250 ml of frozen antenatally expressed clostrum - did NOT want his first feed to be formula in bottle as I was terrified he'd never EVER latch on if he got a whiff of artificial stuff - thanks NHS BF leaflets...I hadn't discovered MN..)

38 hours and 3 pessary later, I had had 15 hours of violent contractions every 2-3 mins, just G&A and a dose of Temazepam to try and get me some sleep and had dilated to a whopping 1cm.
Lovely Consultant explained options - none, baby tired, me tired, blood sugars crazy - and DS was born shortly after by EMCS.

I had no birth plan, but still feel very much that my needs and wishes were considered as far as safely possible.

I don't know ethelb but one thing my birth plan said was that I was very informed about the options for pain relief and if I seemed be in a lot of pain I would appreciate the midwives reminding me to try different positions but not to suggest I wasn't coping with it by suggesting pain relief, I would tell them if I felt I needed something. It was in the 'if i end up in hospital' part though, all I had available at home was gas and air anyway.

Transition would have been the worst time to believe I'd completely changed my mind about the birth too - I was asking to either just have a c-section or to forget it for now and try having the baby on a different day because I was too tired now. She was born hardly any time later and the birth itself was lovely in comparison to how hard I found the transition bit.

I'm not sure.

I think a birth plan can be a really good thing, you might not be able to express your wishes in the thick of labour so to have a few things written down for a midwife to read or to pre prepare yourself can't be a bad thing.

Yes the most important thing is a healthy baby, most birth plans probably don't even make it out the bag (mine didn't even make it to the hospital), and of course expect the unexpected. But to me my birthing experience was something I'll always remember so to have some ideas on how you'd like it to be is a good idea.

The first time I didn't have a birth plan, but I did the second one. For me it was writing out my fears and worries so the MWs could take this into account and approach those paticular subjects better.

ethelb, I think it's because the people who didn't get what they want are vocal in complaining about it! I wanted an epidural, got it, and was very happy. I thanked the anaesthetist about 10 times!