To not understand the need for a birth plan.

[MsKittyFane]

Surely you make decisions based on what is happening at the time?
I think it's important to educate yourself and have certain preferences for type of pain relief but why are some people so prescriptive?
Each birth is different and who knows what intervention your baby will need when the time comes?

My midwives were pleased I had a birth plan because I came to hospital in full blown labour and I wasn't very coherent. They took it out and read it and were then able to use that as a base to work from. I found it very helpful because they said things like "it says on your birthplan that you would like to try the birthing pool, is that still the case?" (answer was a resounding NO! :)) And when an older more traditional midwife came in and started throwing her weight around and insisting I get on a bed the younger midwife showed her that it said on my birthplan that I wanted an active labour. I suppose the plan worked for me because my excellent midwife used it in a really sensible way. Plus it wasn't too prescriptive - it said things like "I would like to avoid an epidural if at all possible but am willing to change my mind if necessary. Just please avoid asking me about it." No one mentioned an epidural and I am very glad because I think at my worst point someone had suggested it I would have said yes even though once I got G an A I was fine and was very glad I did without it.

Well, you might not understand it, and it might not really strictly be necessary but bear in mind a few things.

~Putting a birth plan together can involve useful research so even if it is never referred to, at least you are informed about the on-the-spot decisions you need to make. Better to have thought about it, even if you change your mind.

~Preparations take people different ways - some need lists, others need wine, etc etc etc. Especially if you've been frightened half to death by all the horror some people seem to feel they must prepare you for, preparing yourself YOUR way is a useful way of taking back some feeling of control, however false.

~If your husband/partner is a doofus at remembering anything at all in stressful situations, it is useful to give him a list of idea of how to help you so when he is panicking and you are wishing he would stop asking you stupid questions, he has a refuge.

~If you are not sure your principles on birthing are going to be taken seriously by the midwives (I had one mock the idea of hypnobirthing), it is worth having a sheet you can hand over that makes your wishes absolutely clear in case you can't get into deep communication at the crucial times.

It's harmless unless you get so fixated on it you can't react sensibly to what is actually happening around you. I used the words, "as far as possible" a LOT on mine for DS1. The one for DS2 was about 1/4 of the length and mainly for dh's benefit! Interestingly, with DS1 it didn't go to plan as I was exhausted after being induced for 5 days so I changed loads of things, but not the 2 or 3 things I was absolutely sure I didn't want. With DS2 it was all great.

FolkGirl the NHS in my area are particularly keen that you list prosaic information that means they won't have to bother you at the time - how you want the third stage handled, whether the baby is to get vitamin K, what strong beliefs you have about the cord. That sort of thing. They also suggest you list your experience or expectations. Mind said - This is my first baby. I feel reasonably optimistic about labour and delivery. I would expect to follow medical advice on any issues arising. It also gave them some idea of what to epxect from DH, should he make it - ie please don't expect him to come anywhere near an operating theatre, I certainly wouldn't be asking him to attend a CS if he didn't want to.

I don't understand Birthplans that are wildly long.

Some kind of birth plan was good for me because it meant I had a record about what I had concluded about the options in a saner moment.

Mine had simple YES NO MAYBE columns for all the options, about 80 words in all. Don't get the point of extraneous text like "if possible I would like". I wouldn't want MWs to waste time reading all that.

I think they're really important tbh as long as you are realistic. With dc1 it was very basic, really didn't want epidural (too scared) but open to other offers of pain relief as what did I know and very much go with the flow. Ended up with g&a and ventouse delivery.

With dc2 I put a bit more in. Same pain relief requests but also asked for skin to skin straight after birth, missed this with dc1 as too shocked. I'm pleased I did as dc2 was born with an undiagnosed problem and had to be whisked away. However, I got my 20 seconds of skin to skin as mw remembered it was in my bp.

If I ever had dc3 I'd have very similar bp but add that I'd like to have a good look at the placenta before it's taken away as I missed that second time round and only glanced first time in a daze :)

Cailindana- I completely agree, and for the reasons you describe alone, I think a birth plan is a valuable thing to make. There is a very strong link between feeling secure and in control, and in the way a level of pain is perceived. A woman may be experiencing intense pain, but if she feels that her views have been read, listened to and respected, she can probably deal with that pain better than if she feels she has no control or opportunity to express her view. Full blown labour is not necessarily the optimum time to reflect on things! I was very glad that I had written my plan in my own good time, so that when I arrived at the birthing unit in full labour, I could focus totally on breathing and so on without having to worry that my preferences might not be listened to

Birth plans don't stop you going with the flow, no one I've talked about it with refused to deviate from their plan if they had one, all it does is help the MW understand what you would prefer in certain circumstances. If circs change, what fool would say "No, an emcs isn't in my birth plan, no thank you"?

I think they really come into their own when you're in a Hospital situation with MWs who are very "My labour ward, my way", regardless of necessity.

I had a birth plan but didn't need it in the end, as my MW wasn't the railroading type, but I know plenty of people who wished they'd stuck up for themselves more, and a birth plan helps steer the situation, (and at least makes the parents feel like they have some control).

I think for first time mums especially it helps them to feel in control of what is a pretty daunting and scary prospect. For a lot of people, myself included, it all goes out of the window when the actual event happens. I was supposed to be having a serene water birth but as my daughter cam at 35 weeks it was epidural and forceps!

I didn't write a birth plan, just read up loads and loads and decided to go with the flow so to speak. 3 good births albeit a ecs for ds2 which would have rendered a bp useless anyway.

TheSurgeonsMate Fair enough!

I don't really know what's meant by the 3rd stage, I presume it's the placenta bit?.

Tbh, I had shit pregnancies and an early induced birth with one followed by an EMCS with the other. I suppose I was just relieved to be getting them out of me alive and well. I didn't really give any thought to the birth 'experience'!

I hope yours goes well.

I never made one, and that was fine for me, both times. I felt happy that the midwives would do what was right for me and my babies and that they would know better than me how to deal with things. I did decide I wanted an epidural though, and got that quickly both times.

If someone wants to plan how they would like things to happen I think that's fine if it works for them. I would just be wary of being too insistent on something or disappointed if things didn't go to plan.

I have never written a birth plan. I was very much a lets 'see how it goes'. The first time is was because I couldn't plan for something I really couldn't envisage. Having said that I did want an epidural and was talked out of it by almost everyone I mentioned it to (esp. my Mum). When I got to the hospital I immediately asked for an epidural (was 7cm dilated on arrival) but ended up with a load of excuses about why I couldn't an eventually it was too late.

The second time my birth plan (if I had bothered to write one) would have consisted of four words 'I want and epidural'. However after driving myself to the hospital for an ante natal appointment he arrived an hour and a half later so there wasn't time!

Think that it's much more the type of thing you do for first child than subsequent ones. Birth plans do rather tend to fly out of the window unless you have factored in every possible blip that could happen in labour...

But posters are right that it is empowering and gives you a certain confidence and feeling of being in control.

Good luck

Folkgirl it did go well, thanks!

YABU where I live there is a birth plan section in my notes. It's a mix of specific questions and then some bits which say x might happen what are your views/ thoughts on this. It covers both birth and then some of the more immediate after birth care for the baby, such as consent for vitamin K and whether you would like help with BFing.

Because it's formalised the midwives are used to it and have to read it, and it helps them to provide the type of care that's most appropriate for you, so for example, if you expressed a desire for an epidural the moment you reached the hospital they'd probably direct you straight to the CLU, or if you were keen to try an active waterbirth you'd be off to the MLU.

I found it useful in my first pregnancy because it helped me to focus my mind on what decisions might be needed during labour and it was a good starting point to speak to DH both in terms of what to expect and decisions he may need to make on my behalf.

Despite being induced and therefore much of the actual 'plans' on my birth plan being somewhat irrelevant I would say having it still had a positive impact on the labour. Putting me on the drip was delayed to give me more of a chance to get going at a stage in which I could still have gone into the MLU to give birth, which made me feel like the midwives and doctors were at least listening to me. Then when I did finally end up in the CLU on a drip the midwive helped me to have as active labour as is possible with continuous monitoring.

TheSurgeonsMate haha pleased to hear that!

I read your post several times trying to work out if you were pregnant now or not!

I'm clearly malfunctioning today!

I got flamed on here a few months ago for commenting something like "are you expecting to be unable to speak?" in response to someone asking what to put in theirs.

Surely it's easier to say "I don't want to have Pethodine" to someone than expect them to read your "plan"

I'd actually like them to be renamed birth preferences or birth wishes.

Plan is too concrete a term.

The only thing that I wrote on mine was that I wanted my OH there. I did keep meaning to add more to it, but before I knew it, my waters had broke.

When I was in the pool

Sorry, pressed post too quickly!

When I was in the pool at the birth unit, the midwife helped me to fill it in - she just asked questions like 'did I want a managed 3rd stage?' , 'do you want the baby to have a vitamin k injection' etc.

I think it's more for those type of things, rather than 'I want to give birth in the water surrounded by candles and flowers, and I'd rather like it if Benedict Cumberpatch was there'.
eg. The things that can easily be controlled like injections etc,

I saw a fab birthplan once that said amongst other things "please address the head end before proceeding to the business end"

Tigress yes actually. I could barely speak through the later stages (for hours), had to whisper to DH in between contractions who then repeated it to the MW. I was def in no position to sit and think what my preferences were and make a calm decision! We did all that in advance, with the intention to use our plan as a base and see what happened on the day.

The plan was there for the MW to refer to while I was somewhat distracted!

Mine said I didn't want opiates as they make me vomit (which I had, with an anti-emetic) It said I wanted skin to skin (which I got, before they whipped DS off to give him oxygen and perk him up as he was as blue as a smurf) that I didn't want an epidural if it could be avoided, that I wanted the injection for third stage and for DS to get the Vit K and that I wanted a ball in the room and to be as active as possible.

I must live relatively near the PP who said her notes had a section with questions asking for your thoughts rather than a specific plan as most of mine was "How do you feel about internal examinations?" etc.

I didn't see it as a list of instructions about how I wanted things to be, but it was useful to get my thoughts in order before the event and to answer various questions so they didn't have to bother me during my 30 second long, coming every minute for four hours, contractions. I don't think I talked much, other than to give permission for internals, tell them my waters had gone and to tell DH to get some sleep as we were going to be at this for a while

My birthing plan just said, "I will take the advice of the professionals involved in DD's birth as to what is best for her and myself."

I had wanted a natural birth, but was also very aware that I could change my mind once I actually had contractions.