to make the kids pay for their lunch obtained by deception?

[DysonsAreForever]

OK so it's half term, for a treat I said to the DCs (12 & 14) that we'd go to pizza hut buffet for lunch, they were thrilled. However all the way there they were tittering at some private joke which they refused to share with me. Turns out they went there yesterday with their dad (we're divorced) but they conspired not to tell me because they knew we would have gone somewhere else if I'd known (am not a great PH fan).

I'm so cross, have sent them to the cashpoint with their teenaccount cashcards to get a tenner each to pay me back! Am wondering now if I've overreacted.

AIBU to make them pay for the lunch?

For starters, you might as well not clutter your head by pondering on "what else they're not telling me". Because it'll be lots and there'll be plenty more to come as they get older. However, if it is as minor as where they went for lunch with their father, you've got very little to worry about.

Also, they hardly lied or obtained a lunch by deception did they? From the thread title I assumed they'd either stolen the money or run out of a restaurant without paying. Instead, we discover that they've been to Pizza Hut two days running.

Since you were happy to take them there yourself (and I'm sympathetic to this not being your favourite eating place, by the way) and they were clearly happy to go twice in a row, why should they forfeit £20. Unless you want to punish them for their father's not unreasonable decision to take them to Pizza Hut. In which case you are being doubly unreasonable yourself.

How did they obtain their lunch by deception?

You said you'd treat them, you did so and then made them pay for their meal. You're the only one being deceptive. So out of order. Poor kids

Oh ok. It sounded like you were pissed off that ex dh took them to PH as a treat before yOu. Glad they got their mOney back.

IMVHO you're teaching them quite simply not to tell you about what they did with their dad. Fair enough DSD is much younger, but we strongly encourage her to talk about herself and what she's dime while she's not been with us, and that doesn't have any consequences at all, so yes, once in a while she dies get McDonald's twice in two days.

Its not quizzing her, its teaching her that there are no taboo subjects and its fine to tell us what a fab time she's had, or otherwise.

I'm glad you've given them the money back.

Does not dies lol