to make the kids pay for their lunch obtained by deception?

[DysonsAreForever]

OK so it's half term, for a treat I said to the DCs (12 & 14) that we'd go to pizza hut buffet for lunch, they were thrilled. However all the way there they were tittering at some private joke which they refused to share with me. Turns out they went there yesterday with their dad (we're divorced) but they conspired not to tell me because they knew we would have gone somewhere else if I'd known (am not a great PH fan).

I'm so cross, have sent them to the cashpoint with their teenaccount cashcards to get a tenner each to pay me back! Am wondering now if I've overreacted.

AIBU to make them pay for the lunch?

Pizza Hut two days in a row is not a 'treat' though is it? It would be the lying about not going there the day before that would irk me.What's the betting the ex told the kids not to say anything ?

YABU, they fibbed (not lied) because it was a lovely treat x2

Indian buffet another day?!

I'd have been annoyed that they didn't tell me too but wouldn't ask for money.

If they had just been with their dad then it's not really a treat- a treat is something you don't do often.

I think it's the whispering in the car that would prob have annoyed me as it show then conspiring. That's the bit I'd be unhappy about!

Come on, theres nothing like a bit of sibling conspiring.

I would have laughed as well.

At least they weren't arguing!??!!! YABU :)

Sorry OP, I think you've done the classic:

"I'm pissed off with the ex and feel a bit hurt by something he's done. He's not here for me to vent at so I'm going to take it out on the children instead." Because, lets face it, it's not the fact that they didn't tell you that is really bothering you, it's the fact that you thought you'd had a nice idea for them and then found out he'd got there first.

A word of warning. My dad left my mum for another woman. My mum has spent the 19 years since punishing him by hurting us (even though I was an adult when he left!) and now we no longer have any contact with her.

This wasn't the only reason, but she has made many bad decisions over the years since (some of which I've posted about on here - although I doubt anyone remembers me well enough to know them ) most of which have been made to 'spite' my dad - although it's us she's harmed in the process.

Be warned!!!

I am a bit of a mean old caah, but even I'd have laughed at that.

Yabu & I hope you know it.

Omg you're using your hatred for ex DH to punish the kids. It doesn't even make sense why you'd do that!! You horrible person give their money back!!

Omg you're using your hatred for ex DH to punish the kids. It doesn't even make sense why you'd do that!! You horrible person give their money back!!

Say what you mean rainy, don't hold back!

Does Pizza Hut 2 days in a row even matter? So you both "treated" them. I don't see them complaining!

don't know that posted twice! But you get my gist!

I think YABU but I do understand. My kids have done this before too but we have a laugh about it.
I have no idea where people have got the idea that your behaviour shows your hatred for your exh though.
It is annoying because you were making a sacrifice (albeit not a major one) in agreeing to go to PH and it makes it less special because they had been there yesterday. It seemed to me that your annoyance was with yours children not your xh but I may have read this wrong.

you meanie! agree you should give them the dosh back. but feel a bit guilty being the 77745 th person to post this so will confess that I hate pizza hut and would have done my darndest not to take them in the 1st place!

Rainy and Folkgirl - wayyyyy to much overanalysis there! Don't care about PH 2 days running and nothing to do with ExDH. It was really the 'conspiracy' that got my goat, makes me wonder what else they're not telling me, being teenagers (or almost) IYSWIM. Anyway, they have their money back.

Have to confess the pizza was rather delicious too!

Thanks MNetters.

I think your title contradicts your OP.

They didn't get lunch by deception as they didn't say they wanted to go as they hadn't for ages.

You were mad because they were appearing to be laughing at you. That is what needs dealing with, if anything. It is rude.

To be honest OP if they find sneakily having PH two days in a row as the pinacle of conspiracy and humourous deception then they are probably arent running a drugs ring or selling body parts.

In that case, you were just being a meanie!

Feeling like PH buffet myself now.

What pizza did you have?..

It was up to you to ask them if they had been to PH or wherever with their dad. I learned my lesson on that one long ago after my dc had McDs twice in a week. Now ex and I let each other know if we have been or are planning a junk food fest.

Outraged - I am intruiged - is your DC having junk food twice in one week really that earth-shatteringly bad, particularly if it was (for example) half term ?