to think an almost 12 yr old boy should not be stripping off in front of younger children

[99luftballoon]

My dd has started playing with some children in our garden and local street. One of the boys is 12 next month and apparently has been showing his private parts to girls who are aged from 7-10 yrs old. Now I know that younger children do things like this, as part of their development, but I feel that 12 is definitely an age where he should know better.

Am I over-reacting?

No, that's not on.

No, you're not over reacting at all. A twelve year old should certainly know better than to behave like this.

I would be having words with his parents. I have a 12 year old DS and i know he would not dream of it. The boy needs to go and play with kids his own age I think.

Is he doing it in the street? Have you approached his parents or spoken to the other kids or parents?

No I haven't. Just found out in the last hour or so. :( I think he needs to play with his own age but he just seems to tag on with dd and her friends.

Apparently some of the girls are flashing back at him :(

YANBU, at 12 he shouldn't be showing his privates to other kids.

I would not be happy with a 12 year old boy playing with much younger children period, I see a clear distinction between secondary and primary school.

Excluding from this those with younger siblings clearly.

I phoned the police for advice after a 11yo boy offered my Dd, who was younger, 25p to take down her knickers.

The police took it very seriously. The police woman who came to speak to me said because of his age it was a serious offence.

Not on, I am a foster carer two a fourteen year old boy, who we have had since he was twelve, and he would never dream of behaving like that. I think you should alert social services.

I would not mess around with this. Talk to the authorities.

Tell the school or the ss or the non-emer police line. Its not on.

We went out with friends the other week - they have 11, 8 and 5 year old boys, we have a 6 year old boy. Despite it being freezing they all decided to go wading in a lake (it is a lake with a sectioned off swimming area). the younger boys all went in in pants and t-shirt, the 11 year old rolled his trousers up as he didn't want to show his pants.

YANBU

I think that's the thing Choufleur, DS won't even let me see him naked any more. Privacy is a big thing for him.

Depends a bit on context. But otherwise concur that it's odd; 12yo DS would almost rather die than let anyone else see his bits.

He has been playing truth or dare, and asking the girls to kiss each other, and daring them to strip off.

It is all coming out now

Definately odd.
My 12 year old DS has become very skilled at hiding his bits, he too would almost rather die than let anyone else see them.

I think you need to limit the younger children's time with him to when you can supervise directly

Certainly you need to tell someone - I agree that this kind of behaviour can pr may be an indicator of abuse elsewhere; but who? Police I guess, or SS?

We have told her that she cannot play with him anymore, and he is definitely not allowed in the garden at any time

Its not just about her though is it, you need to ring the police and if you cant bring yourself to do that, then you need to ring the Duty Social Work Team.

Its not right to protect your daughter, but leave other children vunerable to him.

I know it is about the other children as well. I will ring SS tomorrow.

And possibly leave him vulnerable to whomever is abusing him.

Definitely not acceptable and there has to be a duty of care to the other children involved - including this boy.

Don't bother calling the school - all they will be able to do is speak to SS who will contact you directly. Call the local police or SS and let them know.

Good luck - horrid situation