AIBPFB? Mother-in-law related. Eeek.

[scentednappyhag]

If IABU, I promise not to get shirty :) I just want some opinions.

MIL wants to have DD for the day on Thursday.
She has had her a few times before, and has always smelled of alcohol when I pick her up, be it lunchtime or evening.
DH has said she wasn't a good mum to him growing up due to alcohol etc, they get along a bit better now.
Her DP smokes weed, and this weekend possibly (DSIL confided in us) pushed her to the floor and shouted at her during a drunken row. He would be there too. I've never quite taken to him anyway, can't quite put my finger on why. I feel bad for feeling this way, but something just seems off.
When we went to visit her yesterday morning, she smelled of vomit and wine at 9am
I just can't bring myself to trust her to have DD anymore, DH thinks I'm being mean.
Am I?

No, trust your instincts on this one.

yanbu.

No way are you being pfb

You would be U to leave her with MiL I am afraid. DH is the one that's being unreasonable.

NO WAY! How old is your daughter?

ok. assuming you mean this and are not winding me up on a sunday evening...
don't let your child within a mile of the place! you must not leave her in charge of your little one!

yanbu at all..

YANBU

YADNBU!

YASOOOO NBU

yadnbu

Can't believe you even need to ask - it would be irresponsible to leave your child with your mil under these circumstances.

Oh thank God. I was so worried I just needed to get over myself, and knew I wouldn't be able to.
DD is 19 months old.
We still go to visit her, so she's not missing out on seeing her grandchild, I'd never do that. I just can't trust her
The last time she had her, I told her not to bath her as she'd be bringing her out into the cold afterwards, and she was just recovering from a cold. Also, (although I didn't share this reason) I felt uncomfortable about her DP helping bathe her as we don't know him very well.
Sure enough, she arrives home freshly bathed.

She doesn't sound remotely trustworthy or reliable - and that is even before we consider her partner. If she wasn't your MiL, neither you nor (I hope) your DH would even be considering leaving a DC with her. YADNBU!

YADNBU

I started to tell DH about my concerns about Thursday on the drive home yesterday, but he brushed me off and said we'd discuss it later. We haven't.
He acts as though I'm just being horrible for the sake of it. I just want him to want to protect DD as much as I do, I'm not just trying to cause trouble with MIL

Oh goodness no you are not BU. Btw A potenentially pissed person bathing your baby?! Can your OH not see the danger here?

Of course yanbu, you are being sensible

Thanks for the replies, I'm feeling much better about my decision to put my foot down.
Thank you.

YADNBU and I am as lax as they come.

Fuck no. Not at all. I would make sure your about from now on.

Is your DH for real? I am reluctant to let my mum look after my DD simply because of the way she treated me growing up. I think you are right to refuse.

no fucking way.

why does your dh want his mum to look after his dd if she was crap with him? doesn't he want his dd to have better?

Everlong- I've seen a lot of people get torn down for disliking what GPs do when they have their grandchildren, and told they should be grateful for the help. I just wanted some back up that I wasn't reading too much into it before I went in all guns blazing and caused a potentially huge family fall out.
It seemed obvious to me- but doesn't it always? DH's reaction had me doubting myself for a moment.