To Expect a full replacement?

[AThousandSuns]

Greetings.

My DP and I have been looking after my MIL's dog while she is away on holiday for two weeks. We don't mind this at all, as we often do favours for eachother.

MIL suggested that the dog be put in the bathroom overnight, as he barks like a crazed lunatic for most of the night due to him being used to sleeping on MIL's bed. He was put in there with the door closed to drown out the noise and allow us all to sleep.

Yesterday I got up in the morning to find the bathroom flooring shredded. He had attempted to dig his way out. We have a downstairs bathroom that is joined to our kitchen, and they have a tile effect vinyl flooring going through both of them. Still on holiday, MIL was informed of the distruction and said she would replace the damaged floor.

The question is this - how much should she replace? As I said, we've always had matching flooring in the bathroom and kitchen. So replacing the bathroom only with an equivilent (though not exactly the same because we can't find the exact same one) would mean that they are no longer matching.

It would cost about £100 to replace the bathroom only, or about £250 to replace the kitchen and bathroom. The kitchen flooring does have several scuffs, rips and stains, but nothing we weren't happy to live with.

Would you want to whole thing done or would you settle for the bathroom only? Would you pay for the whole thing or just the bathroom only?

So - the dog keeps you up all night with its barking, shits and pisses everywhere, tears up your floor, destroys toys and other items, is ill with morbid obesity and yet you OP are keeping it in your house? with a BABY?

What's with the "BABY?" part? Is it the concern for lack of sleep due to barking?
Or are you assuming it will attack the baby because of it's destructive behaviours re:property?

I'm more concerned about waking the kids up and making them ill. DD2 (7 months) just got over a nasty cold. I don't think he'll attakc the kids for no reason, but I doubt very much he has much patience with children so we keep a very close eye on him when the kids are around.

Anyway, regarding the walking, as I said I've tried to increase his walks without over doing it. MIL usually gives him one 20min walk a day (but leaves it if its raining). I've been giving him 3 walks a day, usually 15mins. The idea being that a little gentle exercise will get his metabolism going a bit. And we've cut out the extra treats and all the human food he usually gets, but are still feeding him all the dog food he wants (he's not eating as much of this, so we hope it'll help him to lose weight).

We've had plenty of strange dogs come and stay a night or two or a month or several

They often get upset in a strange environment.

We move a dog bed or crate next to our bed until they settle in and then slowly move the bed to where we want the dog to sleep.

Never once has it occured to me to lock a distressed animal in my bathroom

Had it ever occured to me then I would expect my bathroom to be eaten. That is what dogs do when they are distressed. They chew things. It releases stress appeasing hormones or some such.

As for it being cruel to allow a dog to sleep in your bed could someone please expain this to my DH and his whippety thing? Although she has now realised if she tries to sleep on my pillow she will be evicted. She thinks that is cruel. The sleeping on the bed bit she is perfectly happy with

If MIL told you to let the dog sleep in the bathroom then yes, she sould replace the flooring. Although replacing it throughout at her cost is probably bit much. You should let her off with that bit and suggest she use what she's saved on the flooring on buying some books on correctly raising and training dogs. I can suggest this one and this one for starters.

And obviously dogs who eat vinyl flooring are bound to eat babies too. I mean it's the clear next step isn't it? Being how similar a baby is to a vinyl floor. And an overweight dog too. I bet it's overweight because it's already eaten too many babies

I just wanted to say how much I regret referring to the dog as a "little shit". Everyone who went on and on about that is right. When he reads this thread it will really hurt his feelings.

It doesn't matter that we've tried being nice to him, haven't shouted at him despite the lack of sleep caused by his presence.

What matters is how offended he'd be if he read that comment.

I'm glad you have seen the error of your ways. Words can wound you know.

It's not the words themselves but your attitude toward the dog. You've received a lot of helpful advice on here from people who love dogs and are horrified at the way in which this dog is being treated.

Pat on the back for not further abusing this poor creature though

Completely lost all sympathy for you.

Yes. A poor phraising, I know. But my point is, debating the bathroom decision is one thing. Offering alternative advice is great.

But just because I referred to the dog using an unkind phraising has no bearing on anything. It was merely a description and in no way reflects anything that has been said to the dog itself. Besides, I was perfectly well aware that he wouldn't behave the way he does without poor training. But the result is still the same description.

Haven't read whole thread but IMO MIL should pay for the bathroom floor and not the kitchen. And I would take the dog to kennels for the rest of the week and she can pay for that too.

Tbh, shouting at the dog might be better than shutting it in a room on it's own for four hours, where it got so distressed it ruined your flooring. I have larger dogs and even they'd have a job destroying my flooring, they'd have to be in quite a state to do it.

You agreed to look after the dog, that means you should look after it properly, reagrdless of how tired you are (how on earth is being a bit tired going to make your DC ill FFS?) and regardless of what your (clearly irresponsible) MIL says.

As I have said, the bet thing would be to see a vet ASAP for advice, but I'm guessing you don't want to do that, despite it being best for the dog.

What sort of person even watches a tiny dog get to 17KG without intervening anyway?!

Midori, you're putting a terrible lot of responsibility on the OP for somebody else's dog. He's said that he's tried to impress on his MIL - not even his mother, btw - the fact that she isn't looking after the dog properly. His wife has been ill with PND. Do you really reckon he should have been wading in and starting arguments with her mother about the weight of her pet?

As for the "little shit", remark - in the depths of stress and sleep deprivation, I can understand his feelings entirely. The dog doesn't care about that. And for the millionth time, he did what the dog's owner told him to do. He presumably trusted her when she said that HER dog would be all right.

I checked how easy would be - it's actually not that hard. The floors pretty easily torn with not-to-sharp knife. It wasn't the sturdiest.

OK, I swear to intervene more on the dogs health. Nagging her obviously wasn't working. When she gets back, we'll demand she sees a vet and have the dog removed if not. Plus, I didn't realise he was that heavy until we looked after him. TBH, I don't see the dog much any other time so I didn't realise he was so far overweight until we had him and I decided to weigh him and look up what he should be.

Actually, IBetTheresFlumpPorn is right. I didn't like the idea, but it was suggested. And I was then ordered to when DP couldn't sleep for the noise.

As for the remark, the saintly-godlike-patience of mumsnetters has always amazed me. I mean, never resoting to using violance is absolutely expected of us all, and this is a good place to start I suppose. Plus, you guys never raise your voice to any child, animal or partner (I assume you don't? Since you recommend people leave their husbands who have shouted once?) I see that you wouldn't even string 2 nouns together on a internet forum a dog to create an offensive term, just in case they read it.

Oh crikey. Well, you can't ask her to replace the kitchen floor, that's going a bit far.

But you can ask her to look after her dog properly in future. Or take the dog on holiday with her next time.

I would suggest giving it loads of exercise to get it to sleep at night, but if you do that, it sounds like it might have a heart attack. Can't see how you're going to cope for two whole weeks.

You're being incredibly facetious. No one thinks the dog will be offended by the words used. It's the attitude towards the dog that those words conveyed that upsets people, especially in the circumstances where your actions (excusable or not) have already caused the dog a great deal of distress.

But it's the MIL who has caused the dog to be distressed. People are acting as though the op kills puppies for a living. The dog hasn't come to any harm. I'm pretty sure the RSPCA would not be that bothered about a spaniel being shut in a bathroom for four hours with food water and bedding to stop it destroying someone's home.

Ibet everyone has responsibility to the animals (and children) that other people have. That's how society works and it's how both animals and children aren't allowed to be mistreated. The problem is, people think oh, overweight dog, it's not that much of a welfare issue. Imagine if the OP had stood by and watched his MIL kick the shit out of the dog for months, would expecting them to do something about it be too much of a responsibility?

OP it is not a case of getting the dog 'removed' fromy our MIL, the RSPCA are unlikely to remove the dog (for a start they legally can't without going to court) What they are likely to do is either shock your MIL into facing up to her responsibilities regarding the dog or oversee hr care of the dog so she has to ensure it loses weight. Then, if she does not do that they may consider removal. I appreciate that you haven't seen the dog much and may not have been aware of the state it was in, but now you are aware.

Geraldine the MIL has a part in the dog's distress, but the OP was looking after it, so they are responsible too.

I suspect the RSPCA would be concerned about this tbh, particularly if it was likely to happen over a period of time (which the OP has clarified it won't as the situation has improved) as well as the weight of the dog. There were other options which would have enabled the OP and his wife some sleep, but the immediate concern does not seem to have been for the dog.

Yes, I am aware now and will do my best to help sort it out. I have already said this.

Compare it too a person though. The dog is, in animal terms, a teenager. Now, he is a little over twice his acceptable weight. Now, say your cousin/nephew/neighbour had a teenage boy, with an acceptable weight to of 12st for their height (which is about right), and you saw them slowly gaining weight as teenagers until they weighed 25 stone (which would be the same, proportionatly). Would you call social services?

But the OP has been trying to do something about it! He hasn't been standing by. He has spoken to his MIL about it repeatedly. He even took it on himself to weigh the dog, and has started a new regime of feeding and walks while it has been in his care. He made sleeping arrangements that his MIL had suggested. He has already said that he was now considering the RSPCA. This is not a person who has been "standing by".

This is what people don't take into consideration when getting a pet - you can't just swan off on holiday and dump it in a strange place without it becoming unsettled. Locking a distressed dog in a room so you can hear his distress is bloody cruel. People go up in arms about CIOT but what is the difference?

Dogs are living creatures with feelings, just like babies, and it is the job of a responsible owner to protect them. Disgraceful behaviour.

As for the lino, you are of course being unreasonable. Your MIL should replace the damaged flooring only, and I would not volunteer to look after the poor dog again, as you obviously hold it in utter contempt, because it gets frightened and it's owner has neglected its health.

we do not go on holiday abroad because of our dog - she would pine and is too old for kennels.
she is a selfish moo imo for foisting the dog onto you in the first place and it sounds very cruel for the dog to be shut in when its not used to it.

We're like you Vicar and only holiday where we can take the dogs. Actually we've found it makes for better holidays as it forces you to be active and explore the area on foot.

OP, did you really think that people wouldn't get upset for the way the dog was treated? You've had several people offer really constructive advice and you've been quite flippant in how you've responded. You're attitude towards the dog by referring to it as a little shit and then about how you've locked it in a room is bound to have people questioning if you're suitable to be caring for it. I wouldn't leave my dogs with you as you seem to lack empathy.

Also, the crap about saintly-godlike patience of mners, is missing the point. I've looked after an at times very annoying young dog, but I managed to treat her kindly throughout. I certainly didn't leave her in a state of distress to destroy part of my house.

I think it's generous of your mil to offer to pay for the damage as although it was her dog it was under your supervision. I've kinda lost sympathy for you as your post have gone on.

The 'I was told to do it' is pretty lame too. Man or mouse?