To Expect a full replacement?

[AThousandSuns]

Greetings.

My DP and I have been looking after my MIL's dog while she is away on holiday for two weeks. We don't mind this at all, as we often do favours for eachother.

MIL suggested that the dog be put in the bathroom overnight, as he barks like a crazed lunatic for most of the night due to him being used to sleeping on MIL's bed. He was put in there with the door closed to drown out the noise and allow us all to sleep.

Yesterday I got up in the morning to find the bathroom flooring shredded. He had attempted to dig his way out. We have a downstairs bathroom that is joined to our kitchen, and they have a tile effect vinyl flooring going through both of them. Still on holiday, MIL was informed of the distruction and said she would replace the damaged floor.

The question is this - how much should she replace? As I said, we've always had matching flooring in the bathroom and kitchen. So replacing the bathroom only with an equivilent (though not exactly the same because we can't find the exact same one) would mean that they are no longer matching.

It would cost about £100 to replace the bathroom only, or about £250 to replace the kitchen and bathroom. The kitchen flooring does have several scuffs, rips and stains, but nothing we weren't happy to live with.

Would you want to whole thing done or would you settle for the bathroom only? Would you pay for the whole thing or just the bathroom only?

Our dog is in the living room (we have 2 living rooms), with a safety gate.

OK, I realise the dog is distressed. What is your suggestion? We must sleep. As I said earlier, we left the dog out until 2 in the morning barking. And I am not having my bedroom urinated over and ripped up and STILL be kept up all night.

We've been having a go at her about the dog for the past year. She isn't listening. In all serious, the suggestion about the RSPA? Do you really think it is a valid reason to call? I can see that the dog is not going to live very long, and have been telling her. We just can't get her to listen to us.

What a poor dog

If the dog is that distressed at sleeping in a different house, and your MILs house is close, couldt you have gone with the dog there each night to sleep? Your DP and the kids stay at home, get some sleep and you and the dog sleep at your MILs?

The op sounds as if her house is getting wrecked by her MIL's untrained dog. How would it be any less distressed in kennels? Do they let dogs sleep on beds and stay up with them all night there? Or do they keep them in a kennel?

it is the OPs problem if she offers to take care of it!

The overall general health and lack of training of the dog are not the OPs responsibility when they are just looking after it for two weeks.

The obesity and lack of training throughout it's life aren't the OPs fault or responsibility.

There's only so much they can do when MIL has the dog the rest of the time and over feeds it.

But she knows the dog - this behaviour can't have come as a surprise! She should have said no to looking after it, not just mistreat it!

Awh poor dog

What exactly are you going to report OP for? He locked the dog in a room that he has stated is bigger than a single room-have any of you actually visited a boarding kennels? The one I take my dog to is a reputable, well used one-the kennels are outdoors with a concrete floor, inside there is a plastic dog bed & two bowls & they are about the size of a small bedroom (ie-nursery sized) My dog comes home looking happy & healthy. Get a grip people-it's a dog

People who say 'it's a dog' with such disdain shouldn't have one.

mistreat it

I think the mistreating has come from the MIL, I don't think the OP has mistreated it.

I think it's so distressed by being away from MIL it wouldn't make any difference what room it was in by the sounds of it.

MIL is responsible for her dog, and if it can't cope with her being away she needs to give it away to someone who will look after it properly, or book pet friendly holidays.

As shouldn't people like you who clearly don't realise that it is an animal & not a person-this is why dogs have issues, stupid people.

And personally, his weight is my biggest concern. But apart from trying to walk him a little bit more (without overdoing it) and feeding him a much healthier diet while he is with us is all we can do about that.

This flooring issue is what DP asked me to ask you, as we had a disagreement about it last night. I said the bathroom at most. And I wouldn't have been insistent on it she hadn't offered, I could probably get hold of something cheap and lay it myself, but DP has an issue about this.

I think the issue comes from several breakages in the past (from our children, and from MIL's younger daughter [big age difference]). Anyway, I think it's symbolic of a bigger arguement brewing between DP and her mother.

Is it possible to ask the vet to have a word with MIL about the overfeeding?

It's very distressing to watch an animal die of kidney failure due to diet/weight related diabetes.

Sounds like the dog will be a bit healthier by the time it goes home. My dads dog used to stay with us sometimes and was exactly the same, really anxious and distressed until my dad picked him up. Nothing calmed him down really.

The poor dog was probably going crazy locked in the bathroom all night .
And how on the ball were you, calling her on holiday to demand she replace your lino? Are you expecting it done before she even gets back? She'll use kennels next time, it'll be cheaper (and kinder).

Yes, I am getting a hunch that your DP has some issues with your MIL and so this is clouding her judgement with regards to the flooring. She is being unreasonable to expect her to pay out for the kitchen flooring too.

However, something MUST be done with regards to the MIL over feeding the dog. Print off facts to show her, get a vet involved, anything which will make her realise that what she is doing is neglect.

We've suggested she go to the vet about it.

She keeps insisting it's been since he was neutered, and that she's not overfeeding him. But we just don't believe it. He's only about 2 and a half. It might help if I can tell her how much longer he can expect to live. Espescially considering Cavs are known for having weak hearts.

OP, yes both of you your MIL because she has mistreated the dog and allowed it to get so overweight (and yes, the RSPCA would be interested in this) and you because instead of seeing to the dog's needs you thought it was fine to shut it where you didn't have to listen to it, which then caused it a huge amount of distress and yet you seem more concerned about your flooring, not how the dog will cope for the rest of your MIL's holiday.

The dog didn't ask for any of this.

I would suggest a crate at night, in your room, with the dog's blanket and either a DAP collar on the dog or a DAP diffuser nearby with some water and a stuffed kong or a bone to chew on and help keep himoccupied/relieve stress. You could also see the vet about some medication for him on a temporary basis and discuss the weight issue too as suddenly lots of walking for such an overweight dog isn't a great idea.

I suspect if the dog doesn't chew at your MIL's (and you haven't suggested it does) that the chewing at yours is down to stress, as chewing releases endorphins and is a natural stress reliever for a dog.

I think perhaps the dog should be put to bed overnight ay his own house. I don't know about dogs, but if you walked him late at night home to his own space, and then got him early in the morning, he would be more contented and there wouldn't be such an issue with his behaviour overnight.

I would try to find the same or very similar flooring as I think doing the kitchen too would not be a reasonable request.

You have done your MIL a favour and only followed her suggestions, so I don't know why people are so cross with you. The dog would receive the same at a boarding kennel, at least he is at home with family to give him attention. Obviously he is unhappy and I refer you to my aforementioned possible solution, but you are doing your best to care for him, the person at fault for his distress is his owner for being on holiday without ensuring he went somewhere where he could be appropriately cared for, and for not training him, thus leaving him difficult to care for also.

I can understand you are stressed with the dog, remember he isn't to blame for being how he is, so try to take that into consideration. Still I have been known to cuss at my rabbits and call them little shots for marking my stuff or fighting,, I don't see that as a sign of animal neglect and think on that account the RSPCA would have no interest in that side of things, however an extremely overweight dog is neglect and needs sorting. What is your MIL doing to approach this issue? If nothing, I might be inclined to have some strong words and if that did nothing consider reporting to the RSPCA on those grounds.

I'm really not trying to be contentious, but if the dog was at kennels would it not be locked in a small room at night, alone without anyone it knows? I don't see how it's that different to being in the ops bathroom. It seems it's more like the MIL is at fault for not seeing to the needs of the poor dog.

He does chew at her house. He also steals food out of your hands. At our house and hers.

As I've explained, I wasn't concerned about the flooring. I'd just cut the shredded bit off and have wait until some other time.

Anyway, I think next time we'll suggest a kennel. I wasn't really happy about taking the dog, but MIL and DP had already agreed to it.

Poor dog (obviously suffered terrible seperation anxiety and distress) and poor m-i-l being 'charged' for damage to her own son/daughters property. Ever heard that old country song 'No Charge' ! I wouldnt dream of charging my parents for any damage they or their pet did at my house. If they insisted on contributing I just might consider if I was skint but would never ask or expect. I know your mother offered but you obviously feel you are entitled and no doubt would have asked if she hadnt - or you wouldnt be debating whether to charge her for the matching rooms.
Would have been better for the dog and the m-i-l financially as it now turns out to have put him in kennels. Cant be doing with people doing 'favours' like this they are unable or unwilling to deliver in full and turn out not to be a favour at all tbh. You knew the dog would only settle on a bed, you knew you werent willing to let him on your bed (fair enough), so you should have declined.
On a similiar vein I once agreed to pick up DGS from school - nightmare parking, just couldnt get near the school in a car (too far to walk from my house) and DD told me 'it's ok to park in xyz street-they turn a blind eye at school time'. Long story short I parked there against my better judgement having tried and tried to find alternative otherwise DGS would have been crying outside and I got a parking ticket. Did I charge my DD for it (she offered actually) - no way - wouldnt have dreamt of it.

shut it where you didn't have to listen to it

This was done on MIL advice. And only at 2am, not all night, so for what, 5 hours? The room is bigger than a single bedroom. The dog was already distressed and being destructive. I don't see what the OP could have done at 2am to sort the dog out other than confine it to a smaller space to limit the damage.

Presumably the reason the MIL didn't use kennels was because she thought the dog would be happier in a home environment with people it knows.

I wouldn't kennel one of my dogs, she would be just miserable. She's be happy at anyone's house though, with people for company.

Listen to Midori. Including the part that says that he's a dog, not "a little shit".

What a weird family. Some who think it's okay to expect betterment when damage is caused - and from their own relations too - although they wouldn't have a leg to stand on if it came to court, some who think you should "get rid" of your own dog, some who cause deliberate cruelty to their dog by over-feeding him (yes, it is a matter for the RSPCA), and at least three of you who think it's okay to lock a dog in a bathroom overnight.

What's wrong with you all?

FFS, stop worrying about your precious bathroom or expecting MIL to pay for something which is nothing to do with her and no court would order her to pay and start looking at how you all treat this poor animal. He must have been incredibly distressed to cause that sort of damage. Can you imagine what people on here would be saying if you left a child to cry all night and to get so distressed that he caused damage in his attempt to get out of a locked room? The dog has no more understanding than a child but every bit as much fear.

You're clearly unable to give this animal the care he needs so do the decent thing and ask MIL for instructions on where to find his vaccination documents and then put him in kennels for the rest of her holiday (at her expense, obviously).

I think kennels & catteries are awful places.

The dog would be confined to a smaller space than the bathroom with a load of other dogs it doesn't know.

If it's untrained and stresses easily this would be worse.