Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To think DH has more time to get shopping

89 replies

SharingIsNotCaring · 29/05/2012 22:01

My husband work 2pm till 10pm 8 hour shifts, once every 3 weeks. I work 7am till 2:30pm. We have 2 children one that is in full time school and 1 in afternoon nursery that starts at 12:30. I have no time to go home before the school run as nursery finishes at 3pm and i barly make it there on time

As he has the car I think he should do any shopping or get the electric, so why does he expect me to do it. This would involve me walking 2 tired children home which is 20 minutes to get the key and walk 20 minutes to the shop.

OP posts:

AThingInYourLife · 29/05/2012 22:39

Of course he should do the shopping and get the electric on the weeks when he is at home alone all morning until lunchtime.

What the fuck else is he doing?

He really wants the three of you to have to do it rather than do it himself?

What is wrong with him?

FioFio · 29/05/2012 22:39

or a pair of earings, or one of those single earings which seems to be the daft rage atm

coppertop · 29/05/2012 22:48

Or maybe Sharing could get some knickers like mine these and carry the shopping and both children home in them too?

Or her dh could use the car and do the shopping?

Naoko · 29/05/2012 22:51

You're not at all unreasonable, and he should do it. However, if he won't, while you address why your DH is such an arse so unhelpful, there's ways to work around it.

Do online shopping. If you get it delivered at an impopular time, the delivery charge isn't usually that high. Try a couple of different supermarkets - round my way Sainsbury's delivery is great, Tesco's alright, and Asda's godawful, but it seems to vary a lot between stores.

The electric - if it's only one week in three, either top up enough before your DH's shift pattern changes so you won't have to go while he's working, or talk to your electricity company. If you can't or don't want to come off the key meter, they might have a little gadget that lets you top it up from home via the internet. I got one for my own key meter this winter and although I had to pay for it (£15, robbing bastards! ) it has been so, so worth it in never running out at awkward times. And I think it's probably paid for itself too, because the local place that does topups only takes cash, not cards, and when I have no cash on me I have to use their paid-for cash point at £1.85 a pop.

FioFio · 29/05/2012 22:53

i think she should wear the car

Original poster

SharingIsNotCaring · 29/05/2012 23:35

Suppose I am making a mountain out of a molehill.

We do the big shop on a Saturday, so it is just milk, bread and small things.

Can't wait to get a locker in work, be so much easier.

OP posts:

AThingInYourLife · 30/05/2012 07:11

You're not making a mountain out of a molehill.

I'm sorry your thread has been ruined by regulars trolling for their own amusement.

You deserved better than that.

Your husband should do these errands when he is off. Of course he should.

That's the issue that needs to be dealt with.

Don't waste scarce money on online shopping just because some glib assholes on the Internet have decided your problem is beneath them.

WhiteWidow · 30/05/2012 08:41

I was the one who said she was making a mountain out of a molehill and I certainly wasnt trolling.

If its only milk and bread etc it's not a massive deal. Yeah her husband should get them, but if he doesn't then a trip home to get cash and a quick trip to the shop...

AThingInYourLife · 30/05/2012 08:47

So she and her children should be inconvenienced indefinitely because her husband won't run a simple errand?

Well maybe it sits OK with you for the concerns of women and children to be written off as unimportant and not worth bothering with.

It's just so trivial to be bothering a man with this kind of stuff, isn't it?

Fairness, equality, kindness - asking for them is just being petty.

WhiteWidow · 30/05/2012 08:51

Did I say that?

Don't be putting words in my mouth, or opinions.

He's a tosser if he doesn't do it. But thts her problem. She either needs to put her foot down, or just woman up and do it herself.

It's not like it's a massive inconvenience is it. You just have to find a way to deal with your problems without making excuses.

My post may seem harsh but I'm just putting it simply.

coppertop · 30/05/2012 10:29

I wasn't trolling. I was responding to the bizarre suggestion that the OP should have to resort to hiding things in her underwear and demand a locker, all because her dh can't be bothered to do the shopping.

Sorry you thought I was seriously suggesting you were in any way being unreasonable, Sharing. It wasn't my intention at all.

You're absolutely not making a mountain out of a molehill.

coppertop · 30/05/2012 10:34

I've just PM'ed you, Sharing.

badtasteflump · 30/05/2012 10:48

Side issue here - but I thought moves were being made to get rid of card meters because the tarrif was more expensive?

Haven't read thread (as usual ) so maybe this has already been covered....

Re the shopping - surely whoever it's most convenient for should do it (ie him).

Morloth · 30/05/2012 10:50

YANBU, nor are you making a mountain out of a molehill.

He sounds extraordinarily selfish.

badtasteflump · 30/05/2012 10:51

And PS I agree it's a bit mean turning somebodys genuine concern on a thread into a piss-take.

AThingInYourLife · 30/05/2012 11:14

"You just have to find a way to deal with your problems without making excuses."

She's not making excuses, she's asking for outside perspectives.

Of which she got barely any between people taking the piss out of her for being poor and telling her to shut up whinging that her problem isn't important enough for them.

This thread is a disgrace :(

solidgoldbrass · 30/05/2012 11:18

Why won't he do it? What else does he not do because he's the one with the penis? Too many men still think that it's up to their wives to do all the domestic work and childcare, if you've got one of these OP you need to put him on a warning, and if he won't start behaving decently, you need to consider getting rid of him.

FioFio · 30/05/2012 12:56

oh i wasn't trolling either :( and i don't think you being unreasonable either

WhiteWidow · 30/05/2012 13:16

'but then I'd have to go home and get money'

That's making an excuse.

empirestateofmind · 30/05/2012 13:19

One of you can do the shopping at the weekend while the other looks after the children. Or use late night shopping or delivery. There is no need to drag children round the shops.

If you are both working isn't it possible to sort the electric so you have a meter and pay each quarter?

If you are in a union talk to them about secure lockers for your workplace, you should be able to leave your belongings somewhere safe. Or talk to your manager.

Noqontrol · 30/05/2012 13:31

I'd make a complaint about having nowhere to store your stuff at work, or talk to your union rep if you have one. You can't be expected to have nowhere safe to put a bag, that's ridiculous.
But I think your oh should help out with the shopping anyway.
I'd try to get that meter changed if you can, I used to have one and it was a lot more expensive that way. Plus the added hassle of running out and scraping round for pennies in the dark to go and top it up again. It was not fun.

MarySA · 30/05/2012 13:45

If you always start work at 7.30 am I presume this means he has to take the children to school every day. And get them ready. But can see if you've been on the go all day you won't feel like school, then home then shops.

I think you should agree to do the shopping one week each and then leave it up to the individual at what time of day it's done. Failing that do it together at weekends.

AThingInYourLife · 30/05/2012 13:58

" 'but then I'd have to go home and get money'

That's making an excuse."

No, that's explaining why going to the shops is time consuming and inconvenient, in response to a question.

Do you think your inflexible harshness is anything other than unhelpful and spiteful?

forevergreek · 30/05/2012 15:15

Ocado £14.99 per year for unlimited deliveries on turs/ we'ds/ thurs. shop at leisure from sofa, get delivered one eve when your in. Saves your Saturday shop too so free up time. If you have freezer space, you can freeze bread and milk, amongst many things.. Never set foot in a store again :)
If no freezer space anyone can walk to store with/ without children as will take 2 mins to buy said items

skirt · 30/05/2012 16:31

Ocado's the dearest out of all the supermarkets though isn't it?

Flip

1 2 3 4