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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend constantly at my house eating

70 replies

DontWannaBeAMug · 28/05/2012 22:45

Boyfriend lives about 10 minutes away in car. On his day off he always says he'll "pop down" to see me but then expects his lunch etc too. I'm not tight but it's becomming a bit 'too' regular. Everyweek, sometimes 2/3 times a week and then he'll raid to cupboards for crisps/biscuits etc too. Not to mention the endless coffees and teas etc.
It's very rare that he invites me to his house but when he does he conveniently never has any teabags/coffee/cola etc in. No biscuits, no crisps - even though I know full well he lives off this stuff usually.
I stayed at his house last weekend and he had no coffee in despite knowing it's pretty much all I drink. He had no biscuits or anything like that in. I had to buy my own dinner from the takeaway and the next morning he asked me what I'd like for breakfast - my choice was a packet of crisps or a chocolate bar!!!

I don't begrudge anyone a coffee or a packet of crisps but I can't help feeling I'm being a bit of a mug here. He's not skint btw or living on the breadline.

We're going out tomorrow morning and he's just asked if we're having lunch at my house again.

Am I being petty?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 28/05/2012 22:47

No, tell him to stock his cupboards the next time you go to see him.

And make sure yours are nearly bare when he visits you Grin

midori1999 · 28/05/2012 22:47

I was going to ask if he was struggling finacially. I know you've said he isn't, but maybe he doesn't want you to know?

Or maybe he's just really disorganised and crap? have you tried maybe making a joke about it?

McHappyPants2012 · 28/05/2012 22:48

No you are not being petty, of he did the same for you when you was at his home then it would be a whole new thread

Lovetats · 28/05/2012 22:48

I'd tell the fat fuck greedy git to go get some shopping in. He's taking the piss royally.

ClassFree · 28/05/2012 22:48

Ask him to pick up some groceries on his way over!
Perhaps say "Oh, on your way, can you grab sandwich fixings and some bread? Running low here" Smile < of the passive aggressive variety

Original poster
DontWannaBeAMug · 28/05/2012 22:49

I've tried making a joke of it but he seems to have no shame!

I'm staying at his house this coming weekend and already he's suggested we go halves on a takeaway.

OP posts:
Original poster
DontWannaBeAMug · 28/05/2012 22:50

ClassFree, I've done that and he asked for the £2.50 when he got to my house!

OP posts:
ClassFree · 28/05/2012 22:52

well then, call me an ass, but I'd stop feeding him
If it is this early in the relationship (no ring, no kids no mortgage) and he can't be fair, it isn't likely to change
does he have other, remarkable, redeeming qualities?

ChaoticismyLife · 28/05/2012 22:52

Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man like this? Confused

ilovesooty · 28/05/2012 22:55

Is this freeloader great in bed or something?

anonacfr · 28/05/2012 22:55

I'm sorry but that sound absolutely awful.

Oh and if he insists on going half on takeaway I would charge him for snacks.

Sallyingforth · 28/05/2012 22:55

You call him a boyfriend?

I'd call him a parasite.

TheSecondComing · 28/05/2012 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/05/2012 22:57

Present him with a bill on the running total so far and see if he likes to pay that. He sounds horrible, OP, a complete, persistent - and intentional - user. Why are you with him? He really is taking you for a mug - and you're letting him do that... Confused

CocoPopsAddict · 28/05/2012 22:57

He is taking the piss.

Do you love him?

anonacfr · 28/05/2012 22:58

I'd also stop giving him lunch.

And next time you stay and he has no coffee I'd just drive back home.

squeakytoy · 28/05/2012 23:00

why are you with this freeloader??? he must have a massive cock or something Confused

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/05/2012 23:01

Meanness is a horrid characteristic. I couldn't be with somebody who was like that, it would just jar and I'd be keeping a 'tally' in my head all the time. When you're in a relationship, there needs to be equilibrium and no need for keeping score as a result.

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/05/2012 23:04

"ClassFree, I've done that and he asked for the £2.50 when he got to my house!"
Ooh, that decided it for me - he is a freeloader. If he was just thoughtless/disorganised he wouldn't have asked for reimbursement. I'm guessing the way he sees it, is, "What's his is his, and what's yours is his as well." I would have to bin him if it were me, I tend to see financial meanness as a big flashing red flag for selfishness. He will never share and 'play nice'.

AnyFucker · 28/05/2012 23:05

a boyfriend I had once would literally just have beer and butter in his fridge (this is not unusual in men, I believe)

and stale bread in his cupboard

but he would buy in takeaway or at the very least go to the chippy when I was there, and not expect to eat like a king at my place

your bf sounds like a freeloader, and you need to tell him straight (not pussy foot around the issue)

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/05/2012 23:05

"And next time you stay and he has no coffee I'd just drive back home."
Absolutely agree with this.

midori1999 · 28/05/2012 23:05

I agree then it sounds like he's taking the piss. It'll only get worse.

I have two friends who are sisters and they fell out for months over one being 'owed' 60 pence for a bottle of cream soda the other bought. Shock

GreenEggsAndNichts · 28/05/2012 23:06

Sorry but you have to stop this. He's completely taking advantage of you. I've never experienced this before but as someone mentioned above, I would be constantly tallying things up in my head and it would drive me mad after a few weeks.

You're better off without him.

CrispyCod · 28/05/2012 23:07

Dump the bastard Grin

skybluepearl · 28/05/2012 23:08

Can you hide your coffee crisps and biscuits when he visits? Also give him a new nick name - Scrooge and call him it at ever opportunity.

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