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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DS is being REALLY ungrateful?

106 replies

SatinSheets · 28/05/2012 16:21

Thread about a thread but the last one was mine also!

So been trying to decide where to go on Holiday and DS1 (14, will be 15 when we go) wanted to go to LA. For numerous reasons I don't want to go there so me and the other adult have chosen Orlando. We went in 2009 but there is loads there we didn't do.

This time we will be swimming with dolphins, harry potter world, busch gardens etc. DS2 (who will be 13) will love it.

Well, DS1 has gone off in a major mood saying it's a crap holiday and he would rather stay here than go to "crappy Orlando again". I'm "tight" apparently not to mention "boring".

He's still kicking off saying he's not coming.

I said "fine, it will save me £1000 if you don't come".

He replied "no, you will OWE me £1000 if I don't come". Shock

I know the answer but I want back up. INBU am I?

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 28/05/2012 18:28

I think I remember your other thread on this - I think some basic manners are called for here let alone being grateful. Have things improved at all OP? You can't really expect things to change though if he is allowed to talk in this manner and you whisk him off to crappy Orlando again.

manicinsomniac · 28/05/2012 18:29

Wow. If you didn't have another son I would say cancel and don't go on holiday at all this year. As it is, I don't know, is leaving him behind an option? Sounds like he'd learn a lot staying with lifechanger!

Being more charitable towards him - you mentioned in your OP 'the other adult' going. Is this a boyfriend/friend of yours that your son could have taken a dislike to? Maybe he wants just you and his brother and is sulking about that?? Doesn't excuse the behaviour but might explain it.

Ishoes · 28/05/2012 18:30

Op not looking for advice on improving her horrible childs attitude imo-just boasting about all the great holidays then can have. I also remember the thread re the germany trip and was Shock at his attitude then but I suppose thats just how some people bring their kids up??

pictish · 28/05/2012 18:31

Yanbu. He doesn't know he's born.
Whining because he has to go to Orlando rather than LA?

I'd give my eye teethnto be able to afford to go to the states on holiday - and he, at the wise old age of 14 is turning his nose up at it is he?

Spoiled little wretch.

Hullygully · 28/05/2012 18:32

No, my dc don't talk to me like that. But in that scenario I would have been saying to him, Look, I know you wanted LA and I'm really sorry but for reasons abcde and f we think it will be Orlando again. Soz.

If he got cross and disappointed, I'd say, I know you are I'm sorry, but we will still have fun. We'll try and do LA next time. etc.

valiumredhead · 28/05/2012 18:32

Tbf kids aren't born spoiled they are made.

Ishoes · 28/05/2012 18:35

Too true valium. Hully you would apologise to your child for taking them on a holiday that millions of kids would give their eye teeth for-really? more money than sense.

I would leave him at home-with no mobile,pc etc and tell him that any future holidays he has will be payed for by him.

BoffinMum · 28/05/2012 18:35

OMG, what a horrid child. I would send him on an Eco-week with no toilets while you lot live it large without him. That'd learn 'im.

bigTillyMint · 28/05/2012 18:37

HullySad that your DC didn't like Kerala - we took our DC and they loved it (despite it being unbearably hot and humid) and are really keen to go and explore some more of India.

If he really doesn't want to go, then hopefully you can leave him with someone at home?

valiumredhead · 28/05/2012 18:37

I would never apologise to a child for tailing them on a holiday that the majority or people consider a once in a life time experience!

5madthings · 28/05/2012 18:39

well mine are going to devon for a week and my almost teen is looking forward to it, not moaning that he would rather do something more exciting.

as a teen we went to caravan holiday parks, i never moaned about it, it was what my parents could afford and i always had a good time! :)

pictish · 28/05/2012 18:41

What Valiumredhead said there.

Apologising to him?! LOL LOL LOL!!!

ilovesooty · 28/05/2012 18:43

I'd remove his playstation, mobile etc until he learns some bloody manners. If you allow him to treat you like something he's stood in just think how he's going to treat his girlfriends/partners/wife.

mudspies · 28/05/2012 18:46

Touring caravan holiday with grandparents. The sounds of grandads ablutions at close quarters may prove efficacious.

DowagersHump · 28/05/2012 18:52

I would be really ashamed if my children whined about being taken to either India or Florida.

When I was that age and verging on spoiled and brattish, my parents sent me on a holiday with a load of under privileged kids from inner London who'd never been on holiday before. It was a bit of an eye opener. I think all children who don't realise how lucky they are should go on one. I didn't moan about holidays after that.

Hopandaskip · 28/05/2012 18:55

Isn't it his job at 14 to be bolshy and ungrateful?

IIWY

Hullygully · 28/05/2012 18:55

I wouldn't apologise to him for taking him to Orlando.

I'd apologise that having consulted as a family and asked for everyone's POV, his was the loser. I would understand his frustration and disappointment.

As I said earlier the fact that to most people it's a "Once in a Lifetime" etc etc is totally irrelevant.

minitoot · 28/05/2012 18:58

He sounds like a totally normal middle class teenager to me...

Hopandaskip · 28/05/2012 18:59

Crap, stupid keyboard

IIWY I would look up a summer camp for teens in l.a. (an expensive one) and say you will pay £1k towards it and he can pay the rest. Alternatively what I have done before is to tell the kids "we have this much to spend if you can find something better be my guest" and thrust a computer at them.

Actually no, I would fix my kid with the mummy stare of doom with my hands on my hips and say "can you hear yourself!?" until he backs down.

AllYoursBabooshka · 28/05/2012 19:14

Oh I'm dying to do the 13 day homestay holiday in Kerala. Not sure how it would work out with a 4 year old though, I'm sure he'd love it!

Hullygully · 28/05/2012 19:16

AllYours - there were plenty of people with toddlers at the homestays, having a fab time. Lots of people pop over from Dubai for eg for a week

bigTillyMint · 28/05/2012 19:21

Yes, yes AllYours, there were loads of families with small children when we went. Go for it!

lovebunny · 28/05/2012 19:24

tell him he comes with you or he stays with a (strict) relative of your choosing. do not give him the money for the holiday, just a small amount of pocket money to cover the time you are away.

hackmum · 28/05/2012 19:30

I agree with the two weeks in a caravan in Pwllheli. Preferably when it's raining (which shouldn't be hard to arrange).

The real problem with having money and being able to give your kids nice things is that instead of being grateful for it they complain and whinge and want something better. It's enough to make you scream.

bigTillyMint · 28/05/2012 19:32

Love the caravan in Pwllheli idea hackmumGrin