To think DS is being REALLY ungrateful?

[SatinSheets]

Thread about a thread but the last one was mine also!

So been trying to decide where to go on Holiday and DS1 (14, will be 15 when we go) wanted to go to LA. For numerous reasons I don't want to go there so me and the other adult have chosen Orlando. We went in 2009 but there is loads there we didn't do.

This time we will be swimming with dolphins, harry potter world, busch gardens etc. DS2 (who will be 13) will love it.

Well, DS1 has gone off in a major mood saying it's a crap holiday and he would rather stay here than go to "crappy Orlando again". I'm "tight" apparently not to mention "boring".

He's still kicking off saying he's not coming.

I said "fine, it will save me £1000 if you don't come".

He replied "no, you will OWE me £1000 if I don't come".

I know the answer but I want back up. INBU am I?

RE: Dolphins and are worth a watch/showing to anyone you can. Also, watch the whole film if you can.

The Cove is a stunning film. Everyone should see it.

Wow just wow

We have a nice lifestyle but I will be telling my 2 DC 13 and 15yo tonight that there wont be a holiday for us this year. I expect a bit of disappointment but thats it. The not wanting to go to the same place is one thing but saying you owe him £1000 ???

Sorry but next task after booking the holiday for me would be to get him to join the real world , teenage entitlement is not a good enough excuse to cover this.

No you do not owe him anything - if he wants to go to LA then he is most welcome toearn his passage.

family holidays are for family - not for cash if you don't go away.

I was going to say YABU, all teenagers think they are entitled, etc, but wow, if he were my son I would be .

Tell him you have booked, he is not coming at the £1000 you have saved will be going towards his accommodation costs when he is at uni (or something else equally unthrilling.)

I hope you have pointed out when he is paying for the holiday he can choose where he goes.

wow he sounds even more spoilt the more you post.
I know it is normal for teens to moaney.
but he sounds like he has had oodles of holidays abroad and it is all just a bore,
cancel the trip and book a week in a caravan in Skegness.

well if it were my teen he would be staying with grandparents whilst we went on holiday without him. i get that teens can be entitled and selfish, they seem to lack empathy? i have had a bit of debate with my own ds1 (almost 13) about foreign aid etc, he seems to think we should just leave afghanistan, africans etc to get on with it and they should just 'move' if hteir own country is so bad...... anyway we had a good old debate about how it really isnt taht simple and he should think himself lucky to have had the good fortune to be born in the uk. he is def starting to understand more, but i have been wondering about getting him involved in some charity work so he has some more understanding of his own good fortune. bizarrely my ds2 who is not quite 10, has great empathy and often puts his pocket money in various charity boxes and wants to sponser children through water aid etc. i woudnt say ds1 is spoilt at all but i think they fail to grasp the reality of life sometimes?

sorry went on a bit there but seriously i would not be taking him if that was his attitude.

Ishoes where, exactly, did I suggest that the change their plans to "reward" him? hmm?

I said FOR FUTURE REFERENCE california is lovely, and that in general I don't see anything wrong with involving your older teens in decision making on stuff like this.

whackamole ahh you see i haven't seen any other thread! i didn't mean that they should go over to california from orlando. just that it's a nice place to go to in the future and they shouldn't rule L.A out because it could be a small part of a longer trip to California

Um

Just because the family and posters on this thread think it's an amazing opportunity and that he is very lucky and should appreciate that loads (most) kids don't get the chance, is entirely irrelvant.

He doesn't want to go. Fair enough.

I think when they get to that age you all have to agree (mine are that age) or put up with the moaning.

FWIW I took my two to Kerala for three weeks last year. We did backwaters, homestays, train journeys, temples, beaches, elephants blah blah blah.

But they didn't want to go from the beginning, I did. They have been to India before and don't like the heat, stress and poverty. I knew they didn't but made them go anyway. They made the best of it (as will your ds do once you're actually there), but at no point did I expect them to say Oooo thanks Mummy we're so lucky...

Or you could go to Darfur and sit in a dustbowl wondering if there will be any water that day while your students have the luxury of a roof over their heads, footwear, fresh veg and an environment safe enough to stroll in.....

"He doesnt want to go. Fair enough "

True. " To be honest Mum I dont want to go back to Orlando can we go somewhere else ?" That would be ok but sticking his hand out for a grand ? I think not.

He didn't stick his hand out for a grand.

He came back with a typical teenage smart arse remark to his mother's comment about the money.

OP YANBU but your son has made me laugh.

He's set himself up for a massive shock when you start making him earn everything he currently takes for granted after that "you owe me £1000" remark.

Ok Hully whatever I still think it sounds beyond the usual "typical teenage" sense of entitlement

He's BU but you know that. I had great holidays as a child and remember moaning when we only went abroad for 3 weeks instead of 4, I can remember my mum saying well most people only have two weeks and thinking she was just saying that! . Fast forward 20 years and my kids get great holidays, abroad each year but to be honest they don't appreciate it just as I didn't at their age.

I think it is a bit unrealistic to expect kids to realise how privileged they are, when to them it is their 'norm'. It is only when they get older and have to earn the money themselves that they will appreciate it ( as I have to be honest).

That said, saying you'd owe him £1k is outrageous!!

I wish someone would take me to Orlando.

Unfortunately, he won't realise this until he's in his late 20s with 2 kids and a mortgage.

To be honest I would say YABU simply because I love LA and I think there is loads to do there, and much more to see. :)

Imagine if it was him posting the OP:

My mum asked me where I thought we should go on holiday and I suggested LA which would be really cool. Should have known it was a waste of time because they just decided and we're going somewhere we went before and somewhere my kid brother will love.

AIBU to be pissed off and wonder why she bothered asking my opinion?

Hully-do you allow your teenagers to talk to you like that then? because if I had spoken to my mum like that at that age I know exactly what her response would have been.

But then I am a bad parent who regularly says NO to her dcs...