To think that couples who can admit they find other people attractive usually have a pretty good relationship?

[MadameOvary]

Massive generalisation I know, but just my experience. My friend was telling me that his wife was "obsessed" with a work colleague of his and wants to give him a bath! He was laughing about it which I found quite odd at first but then remembered that a)they seem to have a very good marriage and b) not every man is like my jealous possessive arsehole ex, to whom you could not have admitted finding anyone else attractive.

I was just saying from rl that I know the only ones bothered by it are usually the ones like mentioned up thread who get ridiculously jealous if someone points out in passing someone is attractive. My friends ex was like this she said that about someone in passing in the 'hes a good looking lad' type of way so he banned her for going clubbing when he was there or said he would dump her He used to do loads of bonkers stuff like that.

I don't know why you have to flaunt the fact you found someone else attractive

I certainly don't 'flaunt' the fact that I find others attractive. It may come up in convo, but in my mind to flaunt it would mean I was talking about it all the time which I certainly do not do. I don't see the harm discussing it occasionally if the convo is 2 sided.

WhiteWidow 'Why would I.'

Well in my case, I am interested and it is making conversation.

It really doesn't bother me even the tiniest bit if DH finds someone on the street or someone we know attractive. Not at all.

We talk about all sorts of things that are pretty meaningless really, this is just another one.

Lequeen that means you do do it but you dont share it between you. Its exactly the same situation your just keeping it more secret.

I point out women to DH before he clocks them and give him a sly smile. I also know which celebs he fancies and he knows I would not kick Jude Law out of bed.

He even came home once and said his boss was wearing stockings that day. The look on his face was pure shock and he giggled like a schoolboy. I think he just felt the need to tell me. I didn't get jealous or assume he had inappropriate feelings for this woman, probably because she's the big boss and he only sees her once in a blue moon. But if he had interactions with a woman day to day and was commenting on her all the time I'd have an issue.

I fancy loads of other men. I can't imagine not really. It's not like I don't fancy/love dh. I'm sure he fancies other women too! I think it's fine to talk about stuff like that, not all the time or anything, but I would've thought pretty normal.

I can't really imagine never fancying anyone but my dh over a long-termer.. how do people do that?

I have never imagined giving a crush a bath. Is that because I'm a mother and imagine giving a bath to involve flannels and dirty bath water?

No, I don't get the bath thing either. Perhaps it's because I used to be a carer and had to bathe elderly people- whidh definitely kill the romance.

I took the bath thing as just an interesting turn of phrase - something akin to my saying - "he's handsome, I'd like to take him home & stick him on the mantlepiece" - meaning he's good to look at - I wouldn't really want to stick anyone on our mantlepiece - actually, I don't even have one