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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To buy DD aged 11, hair removing cream for her legs?

95 replies

MeDented · 26/05/2012 22:37

DD has been complaining for ages about how hairy she is. To be fair her legs and arms are both quite hairy and doesn't help when big brother teases that she is hairier than him! She has also started getting dark hair in armpits. Nice weather means she wanted to wear a vest top but was worrying about armpits so I picked her up a sachet of hair removing cream while we were oh shopping for picnic supplies. She then decided she would use it on her legs as that bothers her more. Out for tea with my mum and dad tonight and DD mentions she had used cream on her legs and mum was very disapproving... Is this so wrong? I know she's young but she genuinely seems concerned and I didn't see much harm. Would worry about her using razors so young but thought the creams would be ok.

OP posts:

thebody · 27/05/2012 14:06

Can I share a moment.

In the bath yesterday tidying up lady garden and to my horror I saw what looked like a bit of well 'corn beef curtain' floating around in the soap suds.

Cue frantic attempts to peek at my self and realised on inspection that said item was in fact a bacon bit!!!

Moral of story, never cook pasta and bacon in a bikini even on a hot day!!

thebody · 27/05/2012 14:07

Well I think shaving a few hairs isn't the same as an operation really is it??

ZZZenAgain · 27/05/2012 14:09

if the creams are so effective at blasting away hairs, makes you wonder what is in them, doesn't it? I would help her shave - and maybe a ladyshave, as some people have said, would be a good idea for her. No idea what these sandpaper like removal pads are but maybe they would be worth a try too.

saintmerryweather · 27/05/2012 14:14

yanbu, ive always been very hairy as i have congenital hypertrichosis and was bullied since primary school. anything you can do to help your daughter avoid that is a good thing

upahill · 27/05/2012 14:24

IU remember my dad being angry when he found out I was shaving under my arms when I was about 12.
He said something like once you start doing that you have to do it all the time. I remember replying ' well I have to clean my teeth everyday ande I have to have a wash every day so what difference does it make?'

I got told off for being cheeky but still think I had a valid point over 30 years later!

Laquitar · 27/05/2012 14:31

the body.

Try not to waste food next time. Your dh could have eaten the bacon as 'sunday breakfast in bed'.

valiumredhead · 27/05/2012 15:21

Ladyshave not horrible chemicals which could burn her

hackmum · 27/05/2012 16:04

thebody: "Well I think shaving a few hairs isn't the same as an operation really is it??"

No, but it's the principle, innit. How far do you let them go? She also wants to have her hair "permanently straightened," which I'm resisting so far.

Anyway, another question for the experts: is it true that if you remove body hair, it grows back thicker and darker? Someone told me this when I was a teenager, which is one of the reasons I've never done it.

TapirBackRider · 27/05/2012 16:08

No not true.

When hair is shaved, the ends of the hair are blunt and feel thicker, but aren't. With waxing, the hair grows back thinner/finer, and over time can stop growing altogether.

StepOutOfSpring · 27/05/2012 16:10

YANBU. Ladyshave is a good option if you don't want razors or harsh creams.

Ephiny · 27/05/2012 16:13

I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. It's all very well to say that children that age shouldn't be worrying about the way they look, but that doesn't change the fact that she is. I remember being that age and not allowed to shave, and it was pretty miserable going around all covered up in hot weather and dreading PE/swimming at school because of the comments and staring.

Of course if she was happy or unconcerned with the hair, I wouldn't bring up the subject at all. As it is, I might try saying 'you're beautiful as you are', and having the conversation about how there's nothing wrong with having body hair, it's not compulsory to remove it etc to start with, but if she was still really insistent that she was unhappy I'd let her remove it.

AmIthatbad · 27/05/2012 16:22

I have been shaving my DD (with her permission I might add) since she was 11.

She has a disability which means that she cannot help herself, but she was aware of her hairy legs, pits and lady bits. So I shave her legs and underarms for her. We tried the bikini line, but she was scared

WhiteWidow · 27/05/2012 16:44

I don't get why people have such a big worry over it, good on you for being understanding and willing to help her.

I can't believed people were banned from hair removal when they were young! What! To me that's like being banned from brushing your teeth!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 27/05/2012 17:15

Reading with interest, my DD is nearly 10 yo and has lovely fluffy legs and arms (and downey hairs on her back) awww.
It lightens enough in summer for her not to bother.
But she is already getting familiar with waxing (she watches me do legs and pits but I use an epilator on legs)

There's a cold wax called Nads that a mum invented for her DD Nadine. It's very good, no risk of burning and any excess washes off.

I spent my teenage years shaving, but now know that wax/epilate gives softer,slower regrowth. So I wouldn't recommend a razor to DD.

madhairday · 27/05/2012 19:11

I've got this with DD, 11.5, at the moment - she is blonde and the hair is fine but she is very aware of it and wants to shave. I have no problem with this, but she has psoriasis so obviously the creams are out, but also she has big plaques on her legs that would get nicked by a razor and end up sore - so not sure what to do - would ladyshave etc be better than a razor for this? She also has the plaques in her armpits so although no hair there yet can see this causing problems. She's on extensive treatment but still has them. Any advice?

Harr1etJ0nes · 27/05/2012 19:18

Dd1 (11)was wearing a vest top tonight and has quite hairy pits. Was wondering about this subject. I don't want to bring it up and make it into something but she refuses to acknowledge puberty so I'm
Worried about others teasing her first.

LineRunner · 27/05/2012 19:18

I have had psoriasis very badly in the past, and used a ladyshave (the sort that you can use wet or dry) without any problems. Just make sure she moisturises her skin especially after with something like Doublebase.

Don't use a razor.

I will also be looking at this light pulse malarkey - but seems expensive.

mathanxiety · 27/05/2012 19:26

I may have posted this before, MeDented, but DS (18 at the time) was one day thinking out loud about needing to shave, and DD4 (age 9ish) took a look at him and said he definitely needed to as his legs were the hairiest she had ever seen..

LowRegNumber · 27/05/2012 19:27

Whenever there is a thread like this I am reminded of my friend in high school whos Dad thought that hair removal of any sort meant that a girl was sexually active (or a f*in little slapper to use his words) the poor girl was already bullied and had quite long dark hairs so one night she sat in the bath and attacked her legs with a pumice stone thinking it would only affect the hair. Needless to say after quite some effort she was left with hair and open sores on her legs she was in agony for ages (hot summer, trousers sticking to the wounds etc).

Whilst I totally understand that a lot of the need to de-hair is socially driven and the fault of the awful media image and we all need to educate our children about this I do think that education must not be allowed to cause a quality of life issue if you see what I mean? If it is that important let them do at and discuss the whys and wherefores of social expectations - not just one or the other. In short YANBU but there are better solutions, long term, than creams as others have said

LineRunner · 27/05/2012 19:31

math you show the image-laden dilemma very well.

LowReg, your post is spot on.

madhairday · 27/05/2012 19:32

Thanks LineRunner. Have been wondering about this for a while. We'll try a ladyshave and slap on the Dermol.

youarekidding · 27/05/2012 19:34

Not wierd at all.

And you should be proud that you have created a relationship with DD where she feels she can talk to you openly about stuff like this.

skybluepearl · 27/05/2012 19:37

I was teased non stop about my hairy legs aged 10, so do help her find the best way to feel better about things.

thebody · 27/05/2012 20:00

Laquitar!! Who says he didn't.

Hackmum, totally up to you what you do with your dd.

Personally I try to understand and empathise with my kids as just want then to be happy.

LowRegNumber · 27/05/2012 20:39

Thanks linerunner , I know it seems ott but it always stuck with me as an example of needless suffering inflicted by a parent on a child and was the first real situation in my young life that made me think "when I am a parent..." Sounds odd but it has shaped a lot of my parenting approaches

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