to think having children is not like it is on the telly..

[RedHotPokers]

Spent ages yesterday blowing up paddling pool, filling up to brim, adding water toys, ready to watch my DCs splashing around for hours having fun and jolly japes, just like on the telly .

What actually happened was DD had a tantrum after 30 minutes because it occurred to her that she may be using up her telly time by playing outside and DS got cold after a nanosecond and wanted to come in .

Took the DCs for icecream and to the park today, smugly awaiting their little joyful faces at the sight of the HUGE bowls of ice cream, and the prospect of fun in the sun.

In reality, they whinged the whole way to the park becuase their legs were apparently hurting, DS didn't like the shorts he was wearing, and DD had a huge tantrum because apparently DS's ice cream looked better than hers .

And I could bore you with many more examples, of fun things that should result in happy DCs, but actually ended up in grumpiness, whinging, stropiness and tears and not just from the DCs. Factor a cross DH into this, who apparently is 'fed up with how ungrateful the DCs are', and felt obliged to tell me this at regular intervals throughout the day, as though it was somehow my fault.

Is it just me/our family this happens to and is everyone else having a happy TV family type existance? Just once I would like to have the happy day I imagined

You have cheered me up. Both my stupid paddling pools deflated today as fast as I pumped them up, despite having gone out early to buy a new pump attachment, DC1 having lost the first one "pumping up" my beds in the house.

DC2 had various screaming fits, probably due to the heat, despite the fact she was inside, and not-so-dear-baby screamed throughout most of the day as he was hot and cutting teeth.

I then bashed my head on the garage sliding door disconnecting those hose, and shrieked at DC1 that he clearly cared more about the pool than me (sorry deflated attempt of a pool that it was) when the innocent soul asked for more water.

Cue me stomping off inside to cuddle two simultaneously crying children (DC2 and DC3, DC1 probably thought there was no contest between me and a paddling pool, however flat.)

I had a flashback to the warm two days of last summer, when it all similarly deteriorated, and I bribed the children into the house with the promise of a chocolate whoopie pie.

I utterly love summer, but it doesn't work with my kids at the moment.

OP, my older two are the same age as yours, I think m expectations are probably unreasonable, am starting to think any expectations are!

This pretty much described my day today. The whining. Oh dear God, the whining. It's stopped now, either because they've finally fallen asleep or my brain has shut down my ears for the good of my sanity. Probably the latter.

Billsmill, you have reminded me of this time last year, when I similarly tried to pump up my paddling pool and discovered DS had lost the attachment. (It took me a year to get a new one, you are doing better than me.)

I had promised the DC the paddling pool, so had to try to pump it up with my rubbish bicycle pump, to the sound of DS helpfully asking me if I could pump any faster! Grrr.

What I really love is when dd pesters to do something (I want to paint, please. Mummy, can I paint now? When am I doing my painting?) So I dutifully haul out the easel, get the paints down from the high shelf, locate the paintbrushes, find her apron, set her up with it, and then she paints her hand, once. And doesn't even want to do a print but washes the paint straight down the sink (you need to wash dirty hands you see), and then announces 'I finished, Mummy'. Where is the TV child who sits and actually paints for more than 10 seconds, so that you feel it is at least worth all the faffing?
My fear is that she will turn into Karen from Outnumbered, with a smart comeback and irritating question for every occasion. I used to watch the show and laugh. Now I watch the show with a knot of foreboding and dread.

After a terrible 2 days with my 2 DCs, your post has given me hope that it's not just me going through it! I feel as though I have shouted at the little buggers for the past 48 hours, was starting to doubt my parenting skills. Thank you for giving me a boost! x

Just opting to say 'me too', it's whine, whine, whine here. Too hot, too cold, he's splashing me, she's splashing me, I'm Hungary, I want biscuits, I want a drink. No not that drink, I want an ice cream, I've dropped my ice cream, wah, wah, wha! ....,,,.,.mupy poor neighbours.
Aaaaaaarghh! ......,,.,let's put the telly on!

*posting

*my poor neighbours......doh

Thank you op. Yadnbu. I stupidly thought watching eurovision together would be a lovely treat. Its been awful.

I am going to buck the trend and say for once we had a lovely day...... I took my Ds' to large local city which normally results in arguing and screaming fits and we had a FAB time. I paid for us to go on a boat tour [which I have never done] and we avoided Mcdonalds and went to lovely funky cafe. For once I don't feel like the day was a disaster..............:}

And I agree with the posters who say children should be grateful. Especially for nice holidays and fun days out I wonder if they feel that way as we are too quick to amuse them? I don't remember my mum doing it. And parents worked then. I wonder if we put too much emphasise on getting it right....... i am just musing

All these posts are the story of my life with my DCs. Cailin makes some god points though ... Gratitude takes quite a lots of maturity and understanding of your parents ..it's probably too big an ask for young children. Doesn't matter if mummy worked all the hours God sent to pay for the holiday if your sister's got a bigger ice cream then life at that moment is tragic if you are 5.

Ten minutes of blissful glossy brochure stuff with 30 minutes of hell either side. That's our usual family days.

Gratitude is the wrong word, its appreciative. I don't want thanks I want a bit of input into a nice day that's been planned.

What do you mean by input notactually?

Life saving thread! Was starting to also doubt my parenting skills and my 1 DS is only 10 months and can't even talk yet!

I also had grand plans of quality time with my baby boy splashing around and got up early to buy a paddling pool from Argos today, one of those snap open things. The bloody thing was huge and DID NOT snap open no matter how hard your tried. Going back first thing tomorrow as liner is also split - complete waste of time.

I spent about an hour wrestling the bloody thing back in the box while trying to stop DS from licking the decking, crawling into the house via the cat flap, climbing the clothes horse, dissecting his nappy and defluffing the cat.

I sent him for a nap while I had an ice cold ribena!

Ribena = wine (sml glass)

Sml glass = to the brim

I think my frustration comes from thinking that I ought to be doing things with her that will enrich her little life and make her childhood one worth having. You know, all that quality time ('Your children just want you and your time and the chance to do nice things with you)' that Supernanny bangs on about. So I make an effort to deliver quality time, choose somewhere I know she'll like even if it's hell for me (soft play anyone?), because if we're at home there's the chance I'll get distracted by housework, so this way she's got all of my attention, and it still bloody goes down the drain because of a hissy fit! (Hers, usually. But not always!)
On the other hand, if it is going well, I can be seen skipping around the park with a very smug grin on my face thinking 'For these last 10 seconds at least, I have been a Perfect Mummy having a Lovely Day just like I planned.'

Inflating paddling pools seems to be the common theme here....

Mine has terminally deflated, but, to be fair, did have four yr 6 children bouncing into it from the toddler trampoline all afternoon. Yep, they were the really annoying ones you could hear wherever you live in the UK

Christopher Green, in 'Toddler Taming' suggests sneaking into their room where they are now sleeping like cherubs and think about two small-but-lovely things they did today to regain a bit of perspective

The bottom inflatable ring of our paddling pool has deflated. This means I keep having to blow it up every ten mins else circular pool becomes triangular and implodes on itself. Going to get a new one tomorrow.
I often find the smallest things make my DS happy rather than the bigger things. Stuff I think he'd really enjoy and get excited about he's just a bit 'meh' about. I suppose at not quite three he won't appreciate the time and money and effort that go into bigger treats.

I also keep telling myself it is the heat that is making my DS so irritable. When he wasn't allowed a second ice cream today he lay on the floor howling and told me he was heartbroken and would be upset forever.

I don't think keeping it simple really works either. Today we had a day spent mostly at home. Kids fought. Toddler was hysterical when he couldn't hold the water pistol and hysterical if slashed with water. Constant demands for food, drinks, ice lollies. Constant whining to watch TV.

I remember last summer the same. By week 3 of the hols they whined that the park was boring, constant fighting & crying. If we went out anywhere I could guarantee that one of them wouldn't want to come & would have to be dragged out of the house & whine throughout, yet none of them are old enough to be left home alone.

I am starting a full-time job this summer...

I mean splashed with water not slashed! I wouldn't blame him for hysterics if he were slashed!

Yanbu! We had paddling pool, pond digging, ice cream, baking and fricking carft shit and mine STILL managed to be little horrors and get on my nerves all day.

I am reverting to the 70s tomorrow, kicking them out all day with a jam butty and a warm bottle of pop each.

Thats what I had when I was a kid and my memories are golden!

When we were kids there was a no moaning rule when on hols!

I was thinking today how old we were when expected to say thanks for an outing, think it was about 10.

I tend to just ignore the strops and carry on as if it is like it is on the telly. Fingers in my ears, la la la lardy la la la. What a beautiful day it has been.

I don't always succeed when the strops join up and overlap and become nearly one big day long strop.

I think if you take away the treats and days out for a while they might appreciate them more again? I haven't tried this, I'm thinking of doing it though.

I write down the things she says that make me laugh and try to recall them when I am tempted to wring her neck!
Like two nights ago, when she was in the bath and I got the towel and said 'Right, dd, do you want to get out now?' and she replied 'Oh Mummy, I'd be honoured!'
Almost makes up for last week when we went for a nice day out and she kept running away and wouldn't come back - I reached such a low pitch that I did actually say out loud to everyone in the vicinty 'If you manage to catch her, you can keep her. And I won't charge. One toddler, free to a home.' And I tried to strike a deal with the cafe staff at lunchtime to see if they'd take her in part-exchange for my food. (They wouldn't). I ended up back in the car half an hour before everyone else (we were out with friends) because I told her that if she couldn't stay near me and come back when I asked then I'd have to take her back to the car where I could put her in her seat and strap her in.
It's nice to know that we are not the only ones though!

I found days out to anywhere except the beach painful as a child. Utterly painful. If a relative of yours organised a random "day out" to somewhere where you had no control whatsoever over what happened, would you be completely grateful? Or would you be thinking "FFS I could be at home drinking Pimms in the garden"?