to be knarked that I cannot provide the opportunity

[Selfpity]

I'm very blessed to have two talented kids, and I am proud of them.

But I'm knarked off at myself that I can't financially fulfill the opportunities that life offers them.

One has been selected to go to Germany for a week at an all in cost of "only" £500. Yes I do appreciate this is is good value in terms of travel, accommodation, activites, food etc that is provided. But I don't have £500.

They have been given a scholarship for 6th form due to their career choice. I "only" have to pay £3,000 a year for full board accommodation. Yes this is good value, but again I don't have £3,000.

The youngest has been put forward by their school, and selected for music tuition, everyone's telling me that I can't let this opportunity be missed, and the scholarship they've been awarded is great, and it's a gift and they should do it. But I don't have the £2,000 per year required for it.

I "only" need £5,500 to be able to financially provide these wonderful opportunites, and I'm feeling sorry for myself that I can't do this.

Whatever anyone says, extracurricular opportunities no matter how talented the child are only available to the higher earners.

Thank you springydaffs glad you can see what I'm trying to say.

Re renting out room, unfortunately we rent our property, and are not allowed to sublet a room as part of our contract, so not an option.

I think the other thing that gets me is how much time I am given to find the funds.

Germany was told when returned after Easter holidays, needs paying by half term (so the end of next week).

The £3k one is better in as much as it's £1k a term, but that still means I have 3 months to get £1k, and then another 4 months to get a £1k and then 3 months to get £1k. That seems very daunting.

The music one I was given 8 days to say yes or no to. Ok fees don't need paying for 3 months, but I don't want to say yes if I can't find the money as I'm still liable for it, but I don't like (not won't) say no, incase I do find the money by some miracle.

Music lessons easily cost that much. At dd's school half an hour is £23.

Or they could just go to a state 6th form like tha majority of their age group? Or are boarding A levels better than the ordinary sort?

Have you exhausted all possible options? Is their dad around? Loan? Relative? sell something? Approach school and explain you have no way of finding the cash? Second job? Defintley worth exploring all opportunities in this case.....

credit card?

I know people that do a lot of active fund-raising to send their talented kids to special events & opportunities. Involving local paper, relatives holding Quiz + Chips nights, all sorts.
It is unfair.

Or twill them "Sorry kids, can't be done. But you're welcome to try and earn the money yourself- I'll do everything I can to help you. It's great that you've got these gifts- maybe it's time to put them to use?"

What career needs special 6th form?

verity is it £5000 a year, or £5000 a month? Because I would have thought anyone could afford £5000 a year. Even £5000 a month isn't much if it is about your childrens futures.

You are surely on a fecking wind up ffs

Wind your neck in and get back to whatever you were doing before you came to start making insulting comments about how much money you don't really have compared to others.

"is it £5000 a year, or £5000 a month? Because I would have thought anyone could afford £5000 a year. Even £5000 a month isn't much if it is about your childrens futures."

Absolutely. eVERYBODY has a spare 400 quid lying around every month. And I'm sure moat people could manage 60,000 a year too, if only they tried hard enough.

Yes Verity ANYONE can find a spare 5k down the back of the sofa.

You are the same obnoxious twat that just told another poster that child benefit is such an insignificant amount that she shouldn't ask if she'll receive it early next week.

Trip Trap

Don't be so stupid verity, only a tiny fraction of the population could afford £5k a month.

I wouldn't give to anyone who trys to raise money for this reason and I think its a bloody cheek to ask. There is a girl at DDs school who has a talent and needs money so she can continue this. The school allowed the parent to fund raise. needless to say my money goes on my children and charity.

I've reported the troll, don't feed it

Op when I got into drama school aged 18 (beating hundreds for the place) I had NO money to fund it...the school helped me...a variety of celebs paid my fees. I wrote hundreds of letters.

A lot of other people couldn't afford £500 for a weeks holiday for one child either. I'd have sent my children to private school if I could have afforded it but I couldn't. DD did extremely well at the local comp DS not so good. His own fault. So a lot of people do have financial constraints on what they are able to do for their children.

i think you are looking at this the wrong way op. you are saying you cant do these things because you dont currently have £5k. well of course you dont, who does, but what people do when something comes up that they want to do is they look at every possible way there is that they could raise the money. extra work, jos for your dc, a loan, fund raising, charities, selling unwanted items, asking family if they could help. i'm sure there are things you haven't thought of.

OP, I know exactly what you mean.

Luckily I'm not there yet (DS is 4, DD 10 months) but if DS did come home with a trip, there's no way in hell I'd be able to afford it - even if I scrimped and saved it would take ages. I don't have much money to start with, we've been living from month to month.

Yes, these things aren't necessary - you know yourself that your kids can get by without these trips. I totally understand what you mean about not being able to afford them. It seems I'll have to start saving now just to fund DS in the future :(

There's a book in the library that lists ALL grant giving organisations. I'd rope your teenagers in to help plough through it and write letters. Follow each one up with a phone call. Encourage teens to get a saturday job. Every little helps. Could you get a second job? Or more hours? Are there other payment options with the school?

Do the DC actually want to go?

What career chocie have they made?

Music lessons i understand it.

Special 6th form i have no clue.

The trip, why is it so important to spend a week in Germany? Tbh i wouldn't give money to fundraising event for a trip.

Maybe they should choose one of those 3 things and work in the summer (work not asking people to fund them) to raise the money. As for Germany, if they want it so much they can do APing there when they are 17.

The books WenTheEternallySurprised referred to earlier are the Educational Grants Directory and the Directory of Grant Making Trusts, (I think). Most large libraries should have copies.