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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give dd my blessing to walk out of her English lesson on Monday?

324 replies

whysogrumpy · 25/05/2012 19:54

Before I explain I should say that she, along with my other dc, is pretty much a model pupil - never been in trouble before, but both she and I are at the end of our tethers with this situation.

She is in Year 8 and in a mixed ability class Hmm, not a policy I agree with and not one taken up by any of the other subjects in her school, but, hey...
DD is a strong level 6 yet throughout the year has been surrounded by pupils who have never read a book and can barely spell their own names - her words, not mine.

Anyway, over the last few weeks the class have been put into groups by the teacher and told to write a play. They will perform it and be assessed on their performances. DD has had a pretty miserable time since this task was set, she doesn;t get on with any of the kids she has been placed with and tells me that she has been made to do all he work. She has basically written the entire script while they have sat there and yet they will now walk away with top levels thanks to dd Angry.

That is not the worst of it though. DD is pretty bookish and not really one for acting. She hates getting up in front of the class doing stuff like this, plus she feels that, as she has written the thing, she should be able to take a minor role. Anyway, the other kids in her group have refused to take the main role as well and have told dd she needs to do it. The teacher has backed them up and told dd that she needs to take the lead role to get a level 6/7 Angry.

So these little shits who have sat there doing nothing for three weeks have now had their behaviour condoned by the teacher, who seems to be using dd to get some work out of some very difficult pupils. DD was in tears over it on Wednesday night so I phoned the teacher. I couldn't believe what I was told. Apparantly this sort of task is just as important as the essay/story/poem writing that dd excells at Hmm. Does she want to be an actress? No, yet she must go through this ridiculous task or, according to the teacher, she will be at risk of failing her GCSEs!!! She's 13 ffs, in year 8! Pissing around doing drama activities with a bunch of kids who can't write - how is that helping her to improve her level?

The teacher ended by saying dd must perform, in the lead role, on Monday. When I told dd she said she'd walk out if forced to go through with this. AIBU to tell her to go for it?

OP posts:
nkf · 25/05/2012 19:56

Why does she have to walk out? That's the bit I don't get.

Original poster
whysogrumpy · 25/05/2012 19:58

Because otherwise she will have to get up and act in the lead role and she really doesn't want to.

OP posts:
QueenElizaBeatHer · 25/05/2012 19:59

I'd say YANBU. But I'm always in the minority and nobody ever agrees with me!

FallenCaryatid · 25/05/2012 20:00

I truly hate collaborative work that affects an individual's grade, it's unfair.
DS had a similar problem with a project for his GCSE coursework that meant his group failed because of the stupidity that was badly-managed collaboration.
Fortunately his exam results were good enough to give him a B but it should have been an A,
I'd email the teacher and set out your view, and so if your daughter does go through with her plan to walk out then the teacher knows that it's more than a stroppy teenage flounce.

ceeveebee · 25/05/2012 20:00

Hmm. I don't think you ought to encourage her to walk out. Sometimes in life we have to do things we don't want to.

GeorgeEliot · 25/05/2012 20:00

YABU.

She needs to learn to go beyond her comfort zone. She will probably do it and be fine and then feel like she has made a fantastic achievement. and the teacher probably knows that.

Ishoes · 25/05/2012 20:01

A bunch of kids who cant write? little shits?Hmm havre you considered these kids may have sn or at the least aditional teaching needs>-as for the fact your precious dd may FAIL her gsce?-bollocks. And you sound delightful btw....

Marvellous · 25/05/2012 20:01

FGS, it's a task set by her teacher and you want her to stage some sort of wildcat strike. Yes, YABU. Support her through it instead of giving her carte blanche to flounce whenever the curriculum doesn't suit her.

marzipananimal · 25/05/2012 20:01

I think a sick day might be better than walking out.
I sympathise - I detested any form of public speaking at school and unless you do drama GCSE then it won't affect your GCSEs whatsoever

TheCunnyFunt · 25/05/2012 20:01

Poor DD, I'd have hated to do this, yanbu at all. The teacher sounds terrible!

AgentZigzag · 25/05/2012 20:01

Judging by the anger in you OP, I think you maybe need to calm down and think a bit more rationally about it all.

Although I understand why you'd be worried about how your DD is doing at school, you're talking as though you don't think there could be any other version of events other than the one your 13 year old has given you.

It's going to be all from her point of view, and I don't mean to be disrespectful to your DD, but 13 YOs can be a tad drama queenish at times.

What evidence do you have other than your DDs version that things are as you've said?

FallenCaryatid · 25/05/2012 20:02

A collaboration should mean that all the members of the group take equal responsibility for the success or failure and are made to do so if they don't choose to. What have the others done other than ride on the coat tails of the OP's daughter?
Why should she be forced out of her comfort zone so that slackers can do what they like?

nkf · 25/05/2012 20:02

It won't hurt her to do it and not wanting to do is a poor reason.

fedupofnamechanging · 25/05/2012 20:03

I woouldn't advise allowing her to walk out. However, I would telephone the school and arrange to discuss this,prior to the lesson. If the lesson is first thing, then keep your dd home if necessary, but allowing her to walk out will cause her more problems than it solves.

Agree that the teacher doesn't seem to be being fair here, but you need to discuss it and find out his/her motivation before going mad. For what it's worth the teacher will be aware of just how little the other members have contributed and although they are working in one group, they won't all necessarily get the same grade.

In mixed ability groups, the hope is that the higher achievers will 'bring up' the less able. Personally, I think it is not fair on the higher achievers - it's not your dd's responsibility and she should be getting the best out of her lessons.

FallenCaryatid · 25/05/2012 20:03

That's why the OP needs to email the teacher, setting out all her concerns clearly. Gives the teacher the chance to respond, or wake up to the situation in her class and come up with a compromise.

GeekLove · 25/05/2012 20:03

Damn right YANBU. I remember having a thoroughly miserable time as a postgrad doing a group project when I had to carry two others. We failed. I got the blame.

Cassettetapeandpencil · 25/05/2012 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Horopu · 25/05/2012 20:04

I don't think the teacher has acted very fairly towards your daughter based on what you have told us. However I would agree that this sort of task can be just as important as essay/story/poem writing. Do most of the class want to be poets/authors? Probably not but they are all expected to write stories/poems.

Personally I would not tell her to walk out, she loses the moral high ground. (TBH you also lose something by calling other children little shits but I understand that you are angry). It is possible that the other children will not get top marks as the teacher knows your dd has done most of the writing.

Firawla · 25/05/2012 20:04

I think you are overreacting and encouraging your dd to overreact. Drama as part of english lessons is quite normal, I remember doing it myself in school and maybe some people do not prefer it but it is part of the curriculum and she will have to get on with it!

SocialButterfly · 25/05/2012 20:04

Personally I think telling her it's ok to walk out because its sonething she diesnt want to do YABU however the conduct of the teacher and other students needs addressing and YANBU to be pissed off with the way she is being treated.
Personally I'd tell her to suck it up and do it but then I'm a meany Grin

Sirzy · 25/05/2012 20:04

Did she raise her concerns with the teacher about the others not pulling their weight?

Speaking and listening tasks are a part of english, its a part I never enjoyed but it has to be done so on that front - tough!

newmum001 · 25/05/2012 20:05

I think yabvu to describe 13 year olds as "little shits who can't read or write"

Trestle · 25/05/2012 20:05

The teacher will be well aware of the fact your DD has done all the hard work in this project. But if your DD doesn't perform, the teacher will be unable to award her a good mark, and that's why I think she's encouraging your DD to complete the task.

The teacher is unable to discuss other pupils with you for confidentiality reasons, so she may well be planning on marking the others down, you just won't get to hear about it.

FWIW I'm against mixed-ability classes too.

Original poster
whysogrumpy · 25/05/2012 20:05

Yes, I am angry, I have a very upset dd on my hands who has never given me any trouble re school before. I must say, though, I was very calm and polite with the teacher, probably too much so as it hasn't done any good.

Btw, I'm sorry for the little shits comment, I do know they might have SN but it's not dd's problem is it? She has had a rubbish time in a subject that used to be her favourite, because of their behaviour and attitude to her.

Sick day is a good idea though...

OP posts:
dearbagpuss · 25/05/2012 20:05

Sorry your daughter is having so much trouble. I kind of agree that your daughter (who sounds lovely and bright) should take a lead role and show of her skills! If th teacher is assessing it properly, then they will be assessed individually (the teacher should be sensitive to the freeloaders!) and should get a level for the writing and speaking: therefore your daughter should get her level 6 whilst the others get their deserved grade iyswim.

Also English speaking and listening levels aren't all about dramatic flair, does your daughter know what they are being assessed upon specifically? It would be good practice for her to know what the level descriptors are.

Fwiw I totally agree that her GCSE ability will not be held back by this but I do think if she is as confident verbally as she is in her writing/ reading she will be A*s all round! Smile