to give dd my blessing to walk out of her English lesson on Monday?

[whysogrumpy]

Before I explain I should say that she, along with my other dc, is pretty much a model pupil - never been in trouble before, but both she and I are at the end of our tethers with this situation.

She is in Year 8 and in a mixed ability class , not a policy I agree with and not one taken up by any of the other subjects in her school, but, hey...
DD is a strong level 6 yet throughout the year has been surrounded by pupils who have never read a book and can barely spell their own names - her words, not mine.

Anyway, over the last few weeks the class have been put into groups by the teacher and told to write a play. They will perform it and be assessed on their performances. DD has had a pretty miserable time since this task was set, she doesn;t get on with any of the kids she has been placed with and tells me that she has been made to do all he work. She has basically written the entire script while they have sat there and yet they will now walk away with top levels thanks to dd .

That is not the worst of it though. DD is pretty bookish and not really one for acting. She hates getting up in front of the class doing stuff like this, plus she feels that, as she has written the thing, she should be able to take a minor role. Anyway, the other kids in her group have refused to take the main role as well and have told dd she needs to do it. The teacher has backed them up and told dd that she needs to take the lead role to get a level 6/7 .

So these little shits who have sat there doing nothing for three weeks have now had their behaviour condoned by the teacher, who seems to be using dd to get some work out of some very difficult pupils. DD was in tears over it on Wednesday night so I phoned the teacher. I couldn't believe what I was told. Apparantly this sort of task is just as important as the essay/story/poem writing that dd excells at . Does she want to be an actress? No, yet she must go through this ridiculous task or, according to the teacher, she will be at risk of failing her GCSEs!!! She's 13 ffs, in year 8! Pissing around doing drama activities with a bunch of kids who can't write - how is that helping her to improve her level?

The teacher ended by saying dd must perform, in the lead role, on Monday. When I told dd she said she'd walk out if forced to go through with this. AIBU to tell her to go for it?

Maybe, though DH says he didn't have it either (11 years ago).

What form does the assessment take? Maybe I've just erased the thing from my memory (due to the trauma!)

does anyone here remember being at school?

where intelligence doesn't matter, but having the right clothes/bag/coat/shoes does?

where groups of kids will gather and whisper about individual members of the class, and then launch unpleasant attacks on them?

where wanting to do the work can attract unpleasant attention?

and yes, i felt my teachers blamed me for looking down on the others. the truth was i was being picked on by them, and trying to be as quiet and invisible as possible - they looked down on me. they talked about getting drunk and going to parties, buying clothes and other stuff, whilst i read books at home (and had the same pair of jeans for all occasions!)- no common frame of reference!

i hated mixed ability - i left one school where i wanted to go to Oxford, and then after a term at one favouring mixed ability, i just wanted to not be noticed.

I dislike projecting my own experience onto this - but the OP has said her daughter has not been well treated by the others. suggesting a child deserves bullying is pretty fucking unpleasant.

This thread sums up everything that is wrong with comprehensive education.

I am sure the teacher has put her in the group to be an inspirational influence on them. It is a shame that they have not tried to contribute or could it be the case that the OP's daughter has not let them if she feels they are a lot weaker than her at literacy. It is a shame that the teacher did not put another student who is good at literacy in the group to support her and help the others.

As far the OPs ridiculous and arrogant comments about skills in speaking and listening... I have taught GCSE English for a number of years. Quite a few students who sound like the OP's daughter (good at reading and writing, weaker at acting and public speaking) have failed to achieve A grades due to weak drama and speaking tasks. Maybe if they had been encouraged to take more leading roles lower down the school this would not have been the case.

if she does it, she will be proud of herself. if she doesn't, she'll feel entitled to spit the dummy whenever her 'talents' aren't 'recognised', which lets face it is most people most of the time. Tell her to suck it up, show off and stop bloody moaning

I've been an English teacher for twenty years and S&L has always been an aspect of the GCSE grade. I suspect there were once (maybe still?) teachers/schools who used to invent S&L grades as it is entirely teacher -assessed. The board would only query if the marks were substantially out of line with reading/writing scores.

Yes EAP, I remember all the schools I attended.

@EdlessAllenPoe I think you are projecting rather - the only thing I see in the OP about is that the OPs daughter doesn't get on with the other members of the group (oh and the fact that she refers to them in very unkind terms). Not getting on with is a long way from bullying or treating badly.

suggesting a child deserves bullying is pretty fucking unpleasant

No one is suggesting that. But the op was clear her dd does think she's better than them and is pretty scathing about them, which is never going to make a harmonious working group on both sides.

YANBU to be furious group work is pointless shit 90% of the time, except amongst top sets and DCs who are good friends already.

In lower sets and mixed ability groups a large number of DCs have no wish to learn and simply do not participate.

Unscrupulous teachers know this and stick able, but less socially adept DCs in the worst groups to act as TA.

Teachers call it improving children's social skills.

It stinks! everytime it happens parents should Email the teacher, head of DPt, HT and chair of governors. Only if enough parents calmly put their case will this nonsense stop.

Sadly your DD walking out won't.

That's why the OP needs to communicate with the teacher though.
Is her DD doing the majority of the work, and in an unsupportive group?
If the answer is no, then the DD needs to be shown proof of how her perspective is wrong or she will continue to feel that everyone is being unfair and may become even more distressed.
Any teacher worth the mane would want to sort this out, surely?

mane?
name

To all the people on the thread sharing their nightmare school stories. It used to be the case that children (and adults) were expected to make the best of things, pull their socks up and get on with things. I had a crappy time for some of my school career. However, I accept that this is part of why I am the person I am today, capable of dealing with all manner of small annoyance and big issue. I didn't get to opt out of things and was frequently told that life wasn't fair.

I worked with someone recently whose parents were progressive hippies who taught her that she was a special little snowflake as well. She couldn't handle working in our team because the work is stressful and everyone couldn't hold everyone's hand all the time. She actually stormed out once. And, no, there was no bullying or sililar, she was just expecting everything to be about her, not the job. I also worked somewhere (in homelessness) where there was a stabbing. There were only two members of staff on duty and one decided he couldn't cope and left my female colleague alone with 50+ traumatised clients.

It is good for people to learn that you have to suck it up sometimes and get on with things. You can't always be happy.

My first reaction was to suggest that you keep DD off 'sick' on monday.

But then when I thought about it the teacher will probably just reschedule their 'performance'.
Either that or they will perform DD's play without her, she will fail and they will all get top marks for DD's hard work.

Then when I thought about it even more I realised that this is a perfect opportunity for DD to push herself through her discomfort and 'get on with it'.
At the end of they day we all have to do things that we do not like/are not happy about/are not comfortable with, it is part of life.
If she was older and asked to do something similar at a job would you encourager her to walk out? probably not, because sometime we just have to get on with things we dont want to do.

I understand that she may be really uncomfortable with performing, I am terribly shy myself when it comes to public speaking, but you should be encouraging and supporting DD to do her best in school. And doing that is not always by giving them the easiest way out.
You could help her run lines, even get some family/friends around over the weekend to be a test audience, so that on monday she is not being thrown in at the deep end because she has had some practice.

I really hope you can support your DD to do what is going to be best for her.
I am sure she will benefit from doing it, rather than the alternative of what will happen if she doesn't.

And I wont even mention the kind of example that it will be setting her if you let her take the easy option and just not go to school at all.

I was bookish, hated speaking up in class, performing and all that. I would have gone ahead with it though, because to actually walk out of a class and go against the teacher in this way would have been far more mortifying. Surprised she would want to do this.

And yes, I always was proud of myself when I pushed myself out of my comfort zone - why not encourage her to do this? The stuff about the other kids is a red herring, really - she is probably "better" than them (I say that because it sounds like they've ganged up on her, not for any other reason) but that is something for her to raise with the teacher and has nothing to do with her own part in going ahead with the performance.

Are you really suggesting that every single child in a private school wants to work hard?

It'd probably be better to let her learn that sometimes you've got to put up with annoying people to get the job done. I hope she manages to get through it.

I've got a presentation at work on Monday, but I don't want to do it. I think I'll ring in sick instead. I don't see why I should have to do it; as I'm carrying my workmates as it is.

Can you see you ridiculous that sounds?

Students are assessed individually, not as a group. We use assessment objectives which have to be met (available on exam boards' websites if you want to have a look). It's usually something like: one 'presenting' task, one 'performing' & one 'discussion' - about 7% of final grade each.

Once OP's dd is actually doing GCSE, she'll probably have the opportunity to do a solo piece, eg. a dramatic monologue in role as a character from literature,as her 'performance' piece, if she finds it difficult to work with a group.

There's also a 'discussion' task though, & for that she will have to take part with others (& her grade will reflect whether she takes a leading or minor part).

I don't see why the teacher should use the OP's dd as an inspiration. Surely that's the teacher's job, that she has been trained for and gets paid to do.

I get the feeling that there are two separate issues here. Of course it can be useful experience to stand up in public and do a dramatic reading; and of course it's useful experience to collaborate with people of different abilities and interests; and of course it's useful experience to have to do something you don't want to do. Life in the workplace can be like that.

But this situation sounds to me more like bullying. This girl, who is aged 13?/14?, has been pressured by the other students into doing the writing, and now she's being pressured to do the main acting. And the teacher is going along with that. I wouldn't regard that as acceptable.

In a similar situation in the workplace, the next step would be contacting the line manager/HR; here, the next step should be the Head of Year, or whoever. Whether at school or in the workplace - if it's supposed to be group work, then that's exactly what it should be.

YABU.

Yes, it's unfair that your DD has had to do the majority of the work so far, but walking out and refusing to participate in the acting will not solve anything.

Like it or not, if speaking & listening makes up part of her GCSE grade, she needs to get used to this part of English sooner rather than later.

If you encourage her to walk out because she's unhappy with the whole situation, then you're teaching her that it's okay to quit when things get tough. Which is not a good life lesson. It would be better for you to try and find ways to build her confidence when it comes to public speaking.

If your DD has done most of the written work (and from what you've said the teacher knows this), and she then takes the lead role in the play, I would expect any sensible teacher to gives her better grades than the freeloaders in the group get. I would be very surprised if they all got the same grade given the situation you describe.

OP - YANBU. Or grumpy. My heart bleeds for your DD. Sodding 'group work'. Sodding league tables...