Page 2 | by *not* addressing thus issue with the parents nvolved?

ChaosTrulyReigns · 2012-05-25T09:16:51+00:00

I'll keep it brief as on my -notsofarking-- smart phone. A few weeks ago my DD3 went to a birthday party at a school friends house. It was a cinema and pizza party. We were to drop them off and pick them up 5 hours later. The family are lovely and I knew she (and the ithers) would have a great time. There were about 15 DC in total going - school friends and cousins. A few days after the event I found out from a friend that the DC had being transported to the cinema in quite an unsafe manner. [angry] 8 DC in a Galaxy. Ffs. DF and I discussed this and decided not to address the issue with the mom (driver of this car) but just ensure that out DDs could _never_ be put in this situation again. This morning one of the parents of another invitee (went in a different car) came over to me and tried to persuade me to "have a go" at the mom. [hmm] AIBU to let it lie and use the experience to firm strategies for the future rather than being confrontational?

Olympia2012 · 25/05/2012 10:25

Which 2 children were worthless enough to be unstrapped?

Lovelynewboots · 25/05/2012 10:25

So there would have been two extra children in the car as a galaxy is a seven seater including the driver, is that right? A quiet word is all that is needed here. It is a stupid thing to do but unfortunately it is not the first time I've heard of it. They may well end up getting invited again to another party so I think you will have to say something. Just a shame the other parents aren't prepared to tackle it head on and want you to do it for them. They may well be transported by this parent again so you are just delaying an inevitable conversation.

sugarice · 25/05/2012 10:26

I wouldn't bring it up with the Parents but I would make sure in future events that you know what the travel arrangements are regarding my kids.

EccentricaGallumbits · 25/05/2012 10:26

Anyway. Nah. Leave it. But don't let them go with them agaib.

sugarice · 25/05/2012 10:27

*I knew.

pinkdelight · 25/05/2012 10:27

LST is joking, isn't she? Made me laugh anyway.

TheSurgeonsMate · 25/05/2012 10:28

It was pretty brief compared with your "second" post!

YANBU. You can be as confrontational as you like when you make pointed enquiries about the arrangements at the next party, but I don't see any point in re-hashing the arrangements from this one.

DeWe · 25/05/2012 10:29

I wouldn't challenge it, maybe offer if they need another car driver next time.

We used to be picked up for preschool, about 20 of us in an estate car. 2 on the front seat (no seat belt) about 6 in the middle and the rest crammed into the boot. It was the best bit of preschool.

I hope your phone doesn't charge per message...

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 25/05/2012 10:32

I wouldn't challenge it but I would have questioned the transport arrangements before it happened anyway because I'm ridiculously anal about car seats and the like.

ThisLittleTeddyBear · 25/05/2012 10:32

I would leave it. But as you say, make sure she isn't put in that position again. Why was the other mum so keen for you to 'have a go'?

Mspontipine · 25/05/2012 10:33

I would hate this too and be extremely however it's been done. DD is thankfully ok. As long as you make sure DD never travel with them again I wouldn't mention it. I doubt it'll make them change their ideas - some people don't give a shit about keeping children safe sadly

I am forever horrified at seeing babies on knees, untethered children in back etc etc. All I can do is make sure my ds is never one of them.

AngelWreakinHavoc · 25/05/2012 10:33

my ds went to a pizza party once, The friends Mum drove them to pizza hut, When my ds came home (10 at the time) he had a bump on his head, I asked him what had happend to which he had informed me that his friends mum had crashed the car!!!!! She had pulled out of a red light and another car hit into her, She never even came to tell me just dropped ds off at the door. The reason ds had a bump was she hadnt even made sure they had their seatbelts on. I know at 10 they should put their seat belts on but even now he is 15 and I always say 'have you got your belt on' it is instinct. I was fuming she never even told me so I went to see her, I knew her anyway but she didnt think it was a big deal and said it was his own fault for not putting his seatbelt on. I havnt spoke to her since!

Flyonthewindscreen · 25/05/2012 10:36

I wouldn't say anything but would be wary re transport arrangements with this family in the future.

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 25/05/2012 10:36

Why am Ibeing nasty?

I am totally unconfrontational - I really don't want to have a "go" as the other striring mom advised. That's not my style - if I needed to - I'd have a quiet gentle word.

The way I veiw it - I was, and still am, aghast about the situation - but as nothing happened in this instance, thank flip, I would ensure that if the potential was to arise again that I would do lifts myself - I have the same car so could take quite a few to help out.

Luckily my DD and her best friend had the sense to squeeze one seatbrlt round the 2 of them on one seat in the rear row but the 4 girls in the middle just sat without seatbrlt as they weren't encouraged to wear them and enjoyed the novelty iyswim?

OP posts:

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 25/05/2012 10:36

Why am Ibeing nasty?

I am totally unconfrontational - I really don't want to have a "go" as the other striring mom advised. That's not my style - if I needed to - I'd have a quiet gentle word.

The way I veiw it - I was, and still am, aghast about the situation - but as nothing happened in this instance, thank flip, I would ensure that if the potential was to arise again that I would do lifts myself - I have the same car so could take quite a few to help out.

Luckily my DD and her best friend had the sense to squeeze one seatbrlt round the 2 of them on one seat in the rear row but the 4 girls in the middle just sat without seatbrlt as they weren't encouraged to wear them and enjoyed the novelty iyswim?

OP posts:

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 25/05/2012 10:36

Why am Ibeing nasty?

I am totally unconfrontational - I really don't want to have a "go" as the other striring mom advised. That's not my style - if I needed to - I'd have a quiet gentle word.

The way I veiw it - I was, and still am, aghast about the situation - but as nothing happened in this instance, thank flip, I would ensure that if the potential was to arise again that I would do lifts myself - I have the same car so could take quite a few to help out.

Luckily my DD and her best friend had the sense to squeeze one seatbrlt round the 2 of them on one seat in the rear row but the 4 girls in the middle just sat without seatbrlt as they weren't encouraged to wear them and enjoyed the novelty iyswim?

OP posts:

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 25/05/2012 10:36

Why am Ibeing nasty?

I am totally unconfrontational - I really don't want to have a "go" as the other striring mom advised. That's not my style - if I needed to - I'd have a quiet gentle word.

The way I veiw it - I was, and still am, aghast about the situation - but as nothing happened in this instance, thank flip, I would ensure that if the potential was to arise again that I would do lifts myself - I have the same car so could take quite a few to help out.

Luckily my DD and her best friend had the sense to squeeze one seatbrlt round the 2 of them on one seat in the rear row but the 4 girls in the middle just sat without seatbrlt as they weren't encouraged to wear them and enjoyed the novelty iyswim?

OP posts:

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 25/05/2012 10:36

Why am Ibeing nasty?

I am totally unconfrontational - I really don't want to have a "go" as the other striring mom advised. That's not my style - if I needed to - I'd have a quiet gentle word.

The way I veiw it - I was, and still am, aghast about the situation - but as nothing happened in this instance, thank flip, I would ensure that if the potential was to arise again that I would do lifts myself - I have the same car so could take quite a few to help out.

Luckily my DD and her best friend had the sense to squeeze one seatbrlt round the 2 of them on one seat in the rear row but the 4 girls in the middle just sat without seatbrlt as they weren't encouraged to wear them and enjoyed the novelty iyswim?

OP posts:

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 25/05/2012 10:36

Why am Ibeing nasty?

I am totally unconfrontational - I really don't want to have a "go" as the other striring mom advised. That's not my style - if I needed to - I'd have a quiet gentle word.

The way I veiw it - I was, and still am, aghast about the situation - but as nothing happened in this instance, thank flip, I would ensure that if the potential was to arise again that I would do lifts myself - I have the same car so could take quite a few to help out.

Luckily my DD and her best friend had the sense to squeeze one seatbrlt round the 2 of them on one seat in the rear row but the 4 girls in the middle just sat without seatbrlt as they weren't encouraged to wear them and enjoyed the novelty iyswim?

OP posts:

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 25/05/2012 10:37

Why am Ibeing nasty?

I am totally unconfrontational - I really don't want to have a "go" as the other striring mom advised. That's not my style - if I needed to - I'd have a quiet gentle word.

The way I veiw it - I was, and still am, aghast about the situation - but as nothing happened in this instance, thank flip, I would ensure that if the potential was to arise again that I would do lifts myself - I have the same car so could take quite a few to help out.

Luckily my DD and her best friend had the sense to squeeze one seatbrlt round the 2 of them on one seat in the rear row but the 4 girls in the middle just sat without seatbrlt as they weren't encouraged to wear them and enjoyed the novelty iyswim?

OP posts:

LST · 25/05/2012 10:37

I know I didn't realise

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 25/05/2012 10:40

Outraged - I'm pretty ana about car safety too. There were 3 cars going - 2 7 seater and a 5 seater. 15 DC - I thought it would be fine - and I'd offered my services a couple of weeks before the party but told that they had it covered.

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FrankWippery · 25/05/2012 10:41

Phone playing up Chaos?

I probably wouldn't say anything now, a few weeks after the event. A couple of days afterwards I would have done. I'd be pretty cross though.

I certainly wouldn't ban my child from going in the car again, BUT I would, next time, say something before the event.

Mspontipine · 25/05/2012 10:41

AngelWreakinHavoc that's horrendous.

DeWe We used to cadge a lift with our friend's dad - a local doctor - about 6 kids sat in the boot of his tomato soup coloured Volvo estate - and loved it!!

My sister loves to re-tell the story of when she was taken to playschool and she was asked by adults in front "Where's Suzanne?" and sister pointed back through rear window to Suzanne sitting in her knitted bobble bonnet in the road where she'd opened the door and fallen out. - Yes we all survived the 70s but would we wish it on our dcs?
No BLOODY way!!!

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 25/05/2012 10:42

Bloody hell AngelWreakibgHavoc - that's awful. I am astounded that she didn't even mention it to you!

OP posts: