more of a WWYD - re. unreasonable neighbour being abusive about parking

[BigFatSpider]

Just had a run in with a neighbour across the road - I feel ridiculous, but she's really upset me.

I parked on a stretch of road alongside houses which have their own drives - there's space on the road outside each pair of semi's (on the road between the two drives, IYSWIM) for one large car, or two small ones without overhang and potentially blocking access to the drives.

The woman has room for 3 cars on her drive, yet chose to pull up behind me on the road (I'm in a vectra, so not much room for another car) and start mouthing off about the fact I've parked outside her house and how dare I and she has a disabled husband and it's 'people like me' and she wishes I was disabled so I'd know what it was like for her. I stayed calm and kept saying 'it's a public road' but she just kept ranting that she didn't care.

I'd already let my 5.1 DS out of the car when she pulled up so he was waiting across the road on the pavement, witnessing all this - she kept on and on at me to move so in the end I felt I had to, just to shut her up. I'm on crutches and just couldn't face strapping DS in again to move forward 2 feet so she could squeeze in behind me so had to leave him on the pavement - when I said 'my son is over there, on his own on the pavement, she 'didn't care' about that either. She could see I was struggling with crutches and bags and a child and 'I don't care' was the only response I got, even when I said 'I'm disabled too' (which I am!).

DH is now on his way home and on the warpath - he wants to go over and tell her it's a public road and I'll park where the hell I like. I know she hasn't got a leg to stand on but I'm worried that it'll inflame the situation - I don't want to get into a stupid turf war with a pensioner (she's probably late 60s) who's just being a bitch.

WWYD - go over and confront her and ask her to stop harrassing me? This is the second time she's done it now - she had a go at me completely out of the blue a few months ago when I parked on a different stretch of the same road. That time it was 'how dare you park there, don't you know the woman who lives in that house is disabled' etc. etc. At no time have I ever blocked a drive, nor would I.

I definately wouldnt of moved my car, if her husband is disabled as she says he is then surely its closer and easier for him to get out of the car on his own drive - rather than the road . i hate people like this who think they own the road outside their house, nope you most certainly dont! its convienient to park outside but its not the end of the world.

plus id be tempted to tell dp this and point him in the direction of the nosey cow!

I'd say let your DH go on the warpath, she sounds like an utter bitch. I know you're not keen on making the situation worse but lets face it, you're not exactly on good terms anyway (even though thats entirely not your fault)

YANBU to point out that the road is pulbic and that you may park outside her house.

YABU to consider it necessary to strap a 5yo in to move a car forward 2 feet.

You would be unreasonable to have your husband fight your battles for you, especially against a woman who is presumably some way older than you. You'd be far from unreasonable to totally ignore her in future and just act as if she did't exist.

Don't go over - tensions will be running high for all of you. She is BU, of course, but I don't think you have anything to gain by confronting her - you could well be the one who is accused of harrassment.

It is a public road and she has a driveway, so you are not in any way to blame. How you handle it now is the key though - it will affect you and your family.

I'm afraid if it's a public road, she has no recourse. She may be able to apply to the council to get a disabled space marked out on the road, but honestly? That's not your problem.

I personally as a rather unreasonable person would have ignored her in the first place, but unless she swears at/threatens you or damages your car I'd leave it.

I agree, let your DH confront her. She is being a bully and needs to be stopped.

You've done NOTHING wrong, why do you keep acting all apologetic

If you must say something (and ignoring her entirely is one way to go) try "you have a drive/this is a public road/I have no intention of moving"

Strap on a pair woman

Confrontation while everyone is mad is not a good idea. How about a letter?

Yes , let your dh have his say otherwise she'll do it again. Please report back.

I'd be tempted to leave it for now but park where I wanted to (within reason, obviously). If she does this again, I'd tell her that I am calling the police as she is being abusive and threatening. They can have a little word with her!

Silly old moo. (Her, not you!)

Yep, your dh needs to go round and explain a few things to her.

Incidentally, why were you not parked on your own drive?

But that is completely by-the-by am just asking out of curiosity.

I don't think your DH having a word with her will make a blind bit of difference, she seems to have a rather large chip on her shoulder. Could you just walk away if she starts again?

She is being totally unreasonable but you need to stand up for yourself and refuse to move the car. Park there every time you can and smile sweetly whenever she confronts you, tell her she is being unreasonable and unless she has a disabled space then you are entitled to park on this public road then sweep into your house and ignore her.

Stupid bitch (her, not you!).

Ha ha Lovetats, crossed posts!

Pinner, agree the woman is a bully but sending over your husband to deal with an elderly couple is a bit . Why send a man to shout the odds? If I'd had a fall out with a woman and she sent her husband over to shout at me I'd feel very frightened. Actually I'd feel frightened if the woman then came to my door to confront me.

Why can't she come over once everyone's calmed down to discuss it like adults? We both have certain needs in terms of access to properties, lets work something out. If that fails OP can know she's done everything she can and she may as well park where she likes.

Is there a reason why you didnt park outside your own house, or on your drive though?

Do you live near Scarlett?

Incredible. I'd leave DH to say what he likes, honestly. If he's raging, though, perhaps he needs a bit of time to cool down first.

I'd have asked her why she thought parking on the road provided easier access for her husband than parking on the drive. The best thing with angry people is to speak calmly and politely to them.

And why on earth would you need to strap your child back into the car for the sake of moving a couple of feet.... I really dont get that at all...

You poor thing :( I'm not surprised you're upset. I would've been too

I'd be tempted to let your DH go and take a MN posse with him

Is this a weird reverse Scarlett post?

She is being totally unreasonable. If she does it again you must stay put!

Where does the OP say she has a drive?

I would stop your DH going over there and just park where you like in future. If she hassles you again, practice the MN-got-balls-death-stare and say 'this is a public highway' and walk away

squeakytoy Always strap the child in. Sometimes they get the door open, sometimes they fall out. Recent case where small child upstrapped itself, fell out of car and was killed. Bloody awful for all involved. I know this isn't the debate but not worth the risk for a few minutes strapping in or placing outside of car somewhere safe.

Where does the OP say she DOESNT have a drive, and where will her husband park.

I am playing devils advocat simply because it pisses me off when people park outside our house, when they have a perfectly good drive of their own, and make it difficult for me to get on and off my own drive.

There are always two sides to a parking row.