more of a WWYD - re. unreasonable neighbour being abusive about parking

[BigFatSpider]

Just had a run in with a neighbour across the road - I feel ridiculous, but she's really upset me.

I parked on a stretch of road alongside houses which have their own drives - there's space on the road outside each pair of semi's (on the road between the two drives, IYSWIM) for one large car, or two small ones without overhang and potentially blocking access to the drives.

The woman has room for 3 cars on her drive, yet chose to pull up behind me on the road (I'm in a vectra, so not much room for another car) and start mouthing off about the fact I've parked outside her house and how dare I and she has a disabled husband and it's 'people like me' and she wishes I was disabled so I'd know what it was like for her. I stayed calm and kept saying 'it's a public road' but she just kept ranting that she didn't care.

I'd already let my 5.1 DS out of the car when she pulled up so he was waiting across the road on the pavement, witnessing all this - she kept on and on at me to move so in the end I felt I had to, just to shut her up. I'm on crutches and just couldn't face strapping DS in again to move forward 2 feet so she could squeeze in behind me so had to leave him on the pavement - when I said 'my son is over there, on his own on the pavement, she 'didn't care' about that either. She could see I was struggling with crutches and bags and a child and 'I don't care' was the only response I got, even when I said 'I'm disabled too' (which I am!).

DH is now on his way home and on the warpath - he wants to go over and tell her it's a public road and I'll park where the hell I like. I know she hasn't got a leg to stand on but I'm worried that it'll inflame the situation - I don't want to get into a stupid turf war with a pensioner (she's probably late 60s) who's just being a bitch.

WWYD - go over and confront her and ask her to stop harrassing me? This is the second time she's done it now - she had a go at me completely out of the blue a few months ago when I parked on a different stretch of the same road. That time it was 'how dare you park there, don't you know the woman who lives in that house is disabled' etc. etc. At no time have I ever blocked a drive, nor would I.

"squeakytoy Always strap the child in. Sometimes they get the door open, sometimes they fall out".

The child was standing on the pavement. Surely a 5 year old is capable of standing alone on a pavement for a few moments!

And to be fair, a child falling out of a vehicle that is moving 2 feet would have to be very quick!

YANBU. You did nothing wrong! I don't think sending DH around is a good idea though, just leave it. If it happens again just ignore her, walk away, don't get in a conversation with her at all.

I dunno squeaky, maybe the OP was a bit flustered and maybe you need to stop picking holes in everything

Ignore her, she's obviously a loon.

Squeaky Did allude to that "or placing outside of car somewhere safe."

Just saying if child was IN car child should be strapped in. I felt you'd implied she should have put child in car but not strapped in to save time to move quicker. Sorry for misunderstanding. :)

You did nothing wrong. The flats I live in (block of 4) have car spaces to the side of them and the ones opposite block of 12) have spaces either side of their building. For some reason people use the opposite side for parking - I think because these people have 2+ cars whereas in my block we only have 2 cars between us iyswim?

The road is closer to my flat door and in extreme rain, if I have shopping for example, I sometimes park in the road as it's 5m to my front door (over road) as oppossed to 20! I don't see why as a road tax payer I can't park there and neither do my neighbours. I do move my car if weather improves though because I do actually have a numbered space!

As an aside - do you have a disabled badge? If you have no parking directly outside your property would the council be willing to provide a disabled space on the street? Something tells me this woman will use it though instead of her drive!

Let DH go over!

I wouldn't let DH go over now but then again I would have ignored her and left my car where it was.

In future, I suggest you continue to park where you want (legally of course). If it happens again then I would suggest to her that she calls the Police if she feels you are in breach of parking regulations. The Police can then politely explain to her that she is in the wrong and she will feel a total and utter fool when she realises that she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Waahaahaahaahaa........!!!!!!!!!! Not that I am evil or anything but I am pretty sure this will work with minimum amount of input from you.

Let us know how you get on.

Next time she comes to have a go, stop her and say 'actually, I've spoken to the council about this whole situation. They have confirmed that as it's a public road, I can park there. They have also suggested I can report your behaviour to the police. But I don't think we're there. Yet'

Then turn round and walk away

I am playing devils advocat simply because it pisses me off when people park outside our house, when they have a perfectly good drive of their own, and make it difficult for me to get on and off my own drive.

It may piss you off, but as in the case of the OP, if they are not obstructing your drive, then there is fuck all you can do about it. Regardless if they have a drive or not, if the op wants to park on an unmarked public road and is not blocking access to other peoples driveways then she is entitled to do so. And anyone pissed off at that needs to wind their neck in afaic.

I agree with HomeEcoGnomist

Me too.

HomeEco has the best advice.

squeaky - there aren't always 2 sides to parking rows. Sometimes people park in front of my drive. They are wankers with no defence apart from being too tight to pay for a parking meter (of which there are many).

You need to stand up for yourself, OP. I know it can be hard, and especially so while caught up in an angry confrontation. But if I were you, I'd let my anger go for now, then the next time the self-absorbed old bat tries it out, say firmly something like: "This is a public road and I will park where I like." Then ignore her for the rest of your life.

But I definitely wouldn't let DH fight my battles.

And I've just read HomeEco's post, which is brilliant, actually.

I agree - not always two sides. Unless you can justify the person who just blocked my drive for two days when there were at least fifty free and available parks in view.

I had this situation with a neighbour but it escalated to her banging on my door and front window, shouting through my letterbox, pushing abusive, threatening notes through the letterbox, leaving ditto on my car windscreen and having her husband stand by the car in the mornings and shout abuse at me as I was getting into it.

I only parked there maybe once every fortnight when every other space was full - we live on a street of terraces with limited road parking only, her adjacent street had driveways and ample road parking without blocking anyone or anything.

After a particularly frightening confrontation I called the police (non emergency number), they went round and basically told her to leave me alone. The same officer has since campaigned (unsuccessfully, but hey ho) on our street's behalf to have some kind of permit parking for residents and/or the removal of parking charges on a nearby car park. :)

She has indeed left us alone since but must spend every waking hour staring out of her front window as she continues to harass anyone who parks on that street; if we're expecting guests I make a point of waiting to greet them with a very large dog in hand. She took the hint.

HomeEco has sage advice. I'm livid for you, but that's probably the best course of action. Consider my previous post annulled.

How horrible! We had something similar with an aggressive neighbour. Over parking and him threatening to hit my aunt who comes to visit us.
We complained at the local police station and someone from community policing came and had a word with our horrible neighbour. People who behave like that generally behave like this all the time so the police generally do know about such folks. They also never think that someone would actually complain about abuse to the police.
I would strongly advise you to go and speak. Alternatively call the non emmergency number.

wwid?
park there every time i got a chance

Was going to post elsewhere - might quit whilst I'm ahead

Was going to post something similar to HomeEco. your local neighbourhood policing team would probably be perfectly happy to deliver some suitable "words of advice" should the situation escalate, neighbour disputes are their bread and butter. You'd be surprised how many problems are parking based....

Reading between the lines of the OP's OP I'm guessing she doesn't have her own drive

I'd find a friend with either a motorhome, a clapped out old shed of a car or a mahoosive Hummer and park it on "her" road.

Then go away for a fortnight