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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to call Social Services about this child?

63 replies

CheerfulYank · 22/05/2012 15:30

Right, this is going to be long because I don't want to drip feed.

I live in a small town and work at the school in the special ed department. I don't work with this girl personally but know who she is. The little girl in question is in second grade, so probably 8 years old.

My friend owns a bookstore downtown and on several occasions I've noticed this little girl there alone, which would not be such a big deal but she stays for hours unless my friend sends her on her way. My friend has asked her if her mother knows where she is and the little girl has replied "no, she was sleeping when I left" or "she's not home."

One of the first times she was there my friend's husband left with his DDs to take them swimming and she begged to come too. He said no, your mother doesn't know where you are. The little girl said "oh, she doesn't care." It worries me that she would think it was okay to just go off with a strange man!

My friend has said she'd rather the little girl not spend so much time in her store (she plays with my friend's DDs while there) because she has no idea who her parents are, and some parts of the store are dangerous (back rooms, steep steps, the basement, etc, that are blocked off from the actual shop), and she doesn't know if they'd be up in arms if she got hurt.

My friend and her husband recently bought a house close the shop and the little girl has shown up there asking if she can play and if she can stay for dinner because she's hungry.

I mentioned this to her case worker at school and she would like me to call the county. She (the CW) said she has very minimal contact with the mother because she will not come in or return their calls, that there may be some alcoholism issues, and that the little girl has complained of being hungry before.

I don't really want to call the county as I know that it can ruin people's lives, and in my experience they rarely do anything except in cases of outright abuse anyway.

However. I am quite concerned for this little girl. As I said, it's a small town, and it's quite common to see kids of her age going to the shop or library alone, but it's obvious in those cases that they have a specific purpose and someone knows where they are. With this little girl she is just wandering, and my impression is that her mother doesn't know where she is.

Also (and I am NOT a "pedo on every corner" type, I swear!) summer is coming and we get loads of tourists. It worries me to think that she will be wandering around all day every day when she apparently has no concept of stranger danger. (And of course there may be people in our town who pose worry too, don't mean to be all "those dodgy tourists!")

Honestly, I do not believe that the county will do much. But I am honestly worried for her safety. Any advice?

OP posts:

Thumbwitch · 22/05/2012 15:36

WHY doesn't the case worker call the county services herself??

If she knows more about the home issues, surely she should be the one talking to them?

It does sound pretty worrying all round, but seriously, can't understand why her CW doesn't do it.

Psammead · 22/05/2012 15:37

Call.

You say they can ruin lives, but also that they wont do much. Well, I'd say they could 'save' lives too, no literally perhaps, but it might be a wake up call for the parents.

What are your options? Do nothing, in which case nothing will change for her, or do something, in which case something might change.

Knowing you, dear CY, that's pretty much just one option.

Sirzy · 22/05/2012 15:38

If your worried for the child's safety I don't see what other option you have

ComposHat · 22/05/2012 15:38

Have you discussed your concerns with staff at school? Is there a designated welfare/guidance teacher?

I would alert s.services, not because of the 'paedo panic' but because it sounds like a case of neglect.

OTheHugeManatee · 22/05/2012 15:38

I think you should call. It sounds very much like this little girl is not being properly looked after.

Original poster

CheerfulYank · 22/05/2012 15:38

Thanks. :)

Thumb she can and probably has, but they don't take it as seriously if it's second hand information. I'm the one who's actually seen these things.

OP posts:

frenchisbest · 22/05/2012 15:38

Yanbu, do it. Just the fact she goes hungry and his visibly trying to go with anyone is worrying... Even if it comes to nothing the poor child or her family might get some help..

Original poster

CheerfulYank · 22/05/2012 15:39

Yes Compos, as I said I've talked to her case worker. :)

OP posts:

Thumbwitch · 22/05/2012 15:40

In that case, yes, you call too and tell them what you've seen (although isn't a lot of what you know second hand too? Can you get your bookshop friend to call them as well, as a first hand account?)

ComposHat · 22/05/2012 15:41

Sorry I meant someone in the school's management who oversees the caseworker.

Original poster

CheerfulYank · 22/05/2012 15:49

Well. I've called.

They said without her address they can't run a report. Um..okay? Useless, much?!

They said next time I see her wandering to alert the police and they will do a "welfare check."

again.

OP posts:

Psammead · 22/05/2012 15:50

That was brave of you, well done.

Fracking useless bunch of drips, though. I suspect the caseworker would have that info. A joint effort, perhaps?

Thumbwitch · 22/05/2012 15:50

FFS. Bunch of useless jobsworths. Can you not find her address, or just ask her? How much worse would it be for the child if the police were called on her, whenever she is next out on her own? Idiots.

Original poster

CheerfulYank · 22/05/2012 16:00

I know! And what if I saw her being beaten or something, but didn't know her address, so too bad?!

Fucking bureaucratic bullshit!

Thumb we have asked her where she lives...she shrugs. :(

OP posts:

Thumbwitch · 22/05/2012 16:02

CW must know though, or the school, surely? :(

MaisyMooCow · 22/05/2012 16:04

This is so sad, I could cry just reading it.

I can't believe what a useless bunch they are. They're basically turning their back on the poor little girl.

Thank God for you OP, at least someone cares.

KateShmate · 22/05/2012 16:08

So ridiculous - like you said, what if it was something more serious?!

Keep trying though OP, poor girl :(

chugginalong · 22/05/2012 16:13

The case worker sounds worse than useless. What about talking to the child's teacher?

CailinDana · 22/05/2012 16:18

Having had experience of something like this in the UK, I would say ring the police every single time you see her out on her own, and ask your friend to do the same. They have to follow up, and they have to file a report. If you make an utter nuisance of yourself they will eventually take notice

McHappyPants2012 · 22/05/2012 16:41

Unless the little girl has an unusual name, just giving a name SS can't do much imagine trying to find a child named David Jones for example.

I would phone the school or pop into the office and ask them to report SS on your behalf

Original poster

CheerfulYank · 22/05/2012 19:25

She does have a pretty unusual name; she is the only child in this town with it, I'm pretty sure.

I talked to the caseworker again and told her what had occurred. We're all kind of unsure what to do...she said anytime anyone has any concern with the little girl we just need to keep calling and hope that they will be concerned by the volume of calls regarding her?

If I knew her mother at all I'd just have her over to ours when I see her...the neighbor kids run back and forth all the time; one is here right now. I just don't know what to do.

Will perhaps pop into the police station the next time. :(

OP posts:

LeoTheLateBloomer · 22/05/2012 19:34

Can't the case worker use her position within the school to give SS the girl's address? It must be on her school records.

Original poster

CheerfulYank · 22/05/2012 19:37

I don't know, I will ask. From my own experience with the SS they will often ask "did you witness this yourself" etc.

OP posts:

Hullygully · 22/05/2012 19:39

Can you take her in, darling?

Tortu · 22/05/2012 19:46

Hang on. Wait. This is a bit odd. Why haven't you started by referring this to the school's Child Protection Officer? And how is it possible that you work in a school and don't know that this is the correct procedure? Every school has a designated Child Protection Officer.

You can't just ring social services directly, as you will get the reaction that you've received because they will assume you are a random loon for not going through the correct channels.

This does sound like a neglect case and on the information that you've given here, I can assure you it would be investigated but, yeah, they would need to know who they were actually investigating and where to find them!

Go into school tomorrow and ask to see the CP officer. Give them your information and they will forward it on correctly. If there is no CP officer, or it all seems a bit weak, PM me and I'll report the school!

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