...to call Social Services about this child?

[CheerfulYank]

Right, this is going to be long because I don't want to drip feed.

I live in a small town and work at the school in the special ed department. I don't work with this girl personally but know who she is. The little girl in question is in second grade, so probably 8 years old.

My friend owns a bookstore downtown and on several occasions I've noticed this little girl there alone, which would not be such a big deal but she stays for hours unless my friend sends her on her way. My friend has asked her if her mother knows where she is and the little girl has replied "no, she was sleeping when I left" or "she's not home."

One of the first times she was there my friend's husband left with his DDs to take them swimming and she begged to come too. He said no, your mother doesn't know where you are. The little girl said "oh, she doesn't care." It worries me that she would think it was okay to just go off with a strange man!

My friend has said she'd rather the little girl not spend so much time in her store (she plays with my friend's DDs while there) because she has no idea who her parents are, and some parts of the store are dangerous (back rooms, steep steps, the basement, etc, that are blocked off from the actual shop), and she doesn't know if they'd be up in arms if she got hurt.

My friend and her husband recently bought a house close the shop and the little girl has shown up there asking if she can play and if she can stay for dinner because she's hungry.

I mentioned this to her case worker at school and she would like me to call the county. She (the CW) said she has very minimal contact with the mother because she will not come in or return their calls, that there may be some alcoholism issues, and that the little girl has complained of being hungry before.

I don't really want to call the county as I know that it can ruin people's lives, and in my experience they rarely do anything except in cases of outright abuse anyway.

However. I am quite concerned for this little girl. As I said, it's a small town, and it's quite common to see kids of her age going to the shop or library alone, but it's obvious in those cases that they have a specific purpose and someone knows where they are. With this little girl she is just wandering, and my impression is that her mother doesn't know where she is.

Also (and I am NOT a "pedo on every corner" type, I swear!) summer is coming and we get loads of tourists. It worries me to think that she will be wandering around all day every day when she apparently has no concept of stranger danger. (And of course there may be people in our town who pose worry too, don't mean to be all "those dodgy tourists!")

Honestly, I do not believe that the county will do much. But I am honestly worried for her safety. Any advice?

the school can and should contact them... they have a responsibility to this girl.

This is so sad, poor wee girl.

Well done on calling, I don't think there is any other option, the consequences of not making the call are too horrible to consider.

Call!!!

Child suffering possible neglect and you have to ask if you should call?

Fgs it's not grassing, it's trying to protect innocent kids

KAyano - she has phoned them. They're not interested particularly. FGS read the thread.

Minou op wouldn't be allowed because she's a stranger & to their eyes she could be more dangerous instead of looked at as a caring person who can't stand seeing this. That's why case worker should be informed. Social services will need to visit the mum first. The most they can do is take her into temporary care while talking to the mum then decide from there.

I don't know about in the uk, but in the USA there are certain people who are "mandated reporters" and the case worker is definitely one of them. So are teachers and doctors. That means that if there is any suspicion of neglect or abuse, you MUST by law report it or you can have serious consequences. If you work in the special ed dept, I would imagine that you are a mandated reporter and therefore should speak to the principal of your school and the principal will have the child's information and is required by law to make a report to the appropriate authorities. I know several people whose children have been reported mistakenly by a teacher. It was embarrassing and a pain, but did not result in anything more than a short visit by a social worker who said, this is clearly not a case of abuse and closed the file on the spot.

Yes, I am a mandated reporter, but that means that we need to contact SS, which I've done, and they're prepared to do fuck all.

I think the case worker has only "heard" of the alcoholism and doesn't have first hand evidence of it. In my previous dealings with SS, they are pretty about people who say "I've heard X". You've got to see it or hear it from the child yourself.

That's what's so hard about calling...it sounds like things that could be nothing...she ate a lot of candy. She's alone a lot, but sometimes with an older brother. But if you see it, something is not right.

I'm off for a few days (going out of state) but when I get back I'm going to get her address from her case worker and try again. Also I'll talk to her classroom teacher and try and get a better grasp on the situation.

Why not talk to the child and say "are you worried about your mummy? Would you like us to help her?" Then you amd the case worker could visit at home and if necessary call the police. Sorry if that is really naive?

If you were in the UK I would suggest phoning the NSPCC or Barnados, can't you phone a similar US charity? Maybe this one?

BTW in the UK all organisations (schools, youth clubs, churches etc.) have to have a designated Child Protection officer, who you would report this to and they would then involve the relevant authorities.

I don't think she is worried though...she's only 8 or so and immature, and this is the way her life has always been, I'd assume. :(

If it comes to naught with SS I'll just wait til I see her this summer and say "we're going to the park and you can come, but I need to talk to you mom first" or whatever.

"they rarely do anything except in cases of outright abuse anyway"

This IS outright abuse. If what you suspect is true.

If you're getting nowhere with SS, I would phone the police every single time I saw her on her own. I would also ask her questions...surely she would be able to tell you where she lives? I'd be tempted to ask her, go to the house and check it, and the mother, out.

Mummytime I will give that number a call and see if they have any advice, thanks!

Believe I mean that it's much harder for SS to intervene in cases of neglect, rather than physical or sexual abuse.