DD has two mums...

[FarelyKnuts]

..Myself who she calls Mama and my DP who she calls Mamaí (mammy in Irish). AIBU and a bit precious to expect that close friends and family could learn which is which and use them when speaking to my DD 2.9 and stop confusing her and making me need to politely point out to her who they are talking about?
I don't mean aquaintances and random people we rarely see but the ones who have regular contact with us and who are very involved in her life.

YANBU. They should make the effort to use the correct names and respect your and your DP's wishes. Personally, I wouldn't even have been happy about a relative saying something like, "Where's Mammy? " to DS when he was little, when I am very much Mummy.

complexnumber we arent spelling it for them, it is how my DD says it, we put the spelling on it (because we like it better than Mommy) but so far, as she cant read yet and no one has ever communicated about it by letter or email, other people dont actually know how we spell it so it is really the sound of it not the spelling that is the issue

That's pretty funny that you're on here complaining people can't get your partner's name right when you can't either.

Sorry? Where did I not get my partners name right??

They are quite similar though - ds calls me both muma and mummy. I can understand why people get it wrong.

YANBU. Do they realise the differentiation isimportant in your family? A quiet word should do it.

Psammead DD doesnt get it wrong, she knows who is who and uses them in context. It is family and friends who get it wrong and often say things like "give that to Mummy" when my DP is not there (and they mean me) and she gets bothered because she can't do what is asked of her and doesnt realise they mean me.
Obviously it is a little more important in our house because there are two of us. It would be clearer if there was one Mum/Mummy/Mama/Muma and the child used the terms interchangeably but there is isnt.

Have you explained the importance to them?

It really doesn't register what friends DC call them, I normally go for mummy for under 6/7 and mum for over. Unless I was specifically told to only use X.

TBH I have no idea what even close friends' kids call their parents. It just doesn't register with me at all. If I was talking to them I would probably just say "where's your mum" or whatever to an older child and substitute "mummy" if addressing a younger child. This is likely a non-issue for your friends. It probably just hasn't registered with them at all.

YANBU. We have some friends in the same boat. One is "mummy" and one is "mama". I think most of their close friends and family stick to this though we need reminding because we don't get to see them as much as we'd like!

yanbu. we have the.same. even with nursery, where we have filled.in forms about.our.family.for.3 different children. yet whenever I arrive to collect, they call out "ds1, mummy's here!". neither of his mind are called mummy! I am sensitive to it because I still remember teachers correcting my mother's day cards at school to say mummy, as if I didn't know what I called my own mother, even though my mum was never called mummy either. I don't know how you make them remember though. even close lesbian friends with their own kids get it wrong. grr.

That's the thing. If another child were to ask if they could have whatever I was I was giving out to my children I would say perhaps you shod ask you mum/mummy. I don't know if the child calls herself mama mummy or what. My eldest calls me mum, my youngest mummy, they and I know who is meant. Someone else might ask them where is your mother.

The words are so interchangable I can see how it would get confusing.
I can understand your frustration though.

I get called my DDs mummy all the time. That's not what they call me. But around here mummy is just a synonym for "a mother".

I don't get all uptight and precious about it and consider it to be a cultural slight to me. Because its not. It's just how people talk round here.

Yabu

neither of his mums

Mamaí is pronounced Mommy, pretty much. That's what my kids call me.

Mammy is very similar to Mama. Combined with Irish spelling, I can see why people are confused.

My ILs all refer to me as Mummy, which I loathe. But to them that's just what mothers are called, so I just let it go.

Avocado I have nicely pointed it out once or twice to various family members. Kind of why I made this AIBU to see if I was making an issue out of nothing or if I should continue to politely correct people.

Have you actually told them what you both want to be called?

They aren't mind readers, they might not be aware that you are using one different name for each of you. I wouldn't have thought they would upset you and confuse your child on purpose!

I don't think you meant me in your last post I think I would correct them until the learn.

Curry where did I say that I considered it a cultural slight? What culture are you talking about?

And I've just noticed the title of this thread. Even you use the word 'mum' in a generic sense fgs

Surely you should've said "dd doesn't have 2 mums, she has a mama and a mamai"

I mean my cultural differences from the place I live

Sorry Psammed I didnt mean to direct it at you, it was supposed to be a general observation :o

Curry I used the generic 'mum' because she does have two mums, we just have different names

But you're saying it's ok for you to say you're a mum. But other people have to use the correct term. I am confused. Surely you've just used the term "mum" in exactly the same way that others have that is winding you up.