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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so worried about my brother's 4 day old baby

54 replies

toddlerdays · 19/05/2012 22:26

I've just left the hospital. Baby is in intensive care on breathing aparatus and antibiotics. Doctors think he has an infection but they still haven't diagnosed after 2 days.

I am so worried and don't know how I will sleep tonight. What could be wrong?

What can I do to help? Feel helpless.

OP posts:
5318008 · 19/05/2012 22:32

the hosp may need to culture swabs hence delay in establishing exactly what they are dealing with

baby may have swallowed some mec for eg, or have contracted strep B during delivery (just suggesting possibilities, no idea of course)

baby is in the best place, your job is to somehow get rest, as best you can, to be in position to support DB and SIL whatever gets thrown at them

I feel for you, and for them, SCBU is a very scary place

hot milk/choc, warm bath, tv/pooter off, then into bed with you

good luck, and congratulations on becoming an aunt

scuzy · 19/05/2012 22:36

light a candle, bring all phones to bed, say a prayer (if you practice) and try sleep. he is in the right place. i feel for you all. worrying time.

Sirzy · 19/05/2012 22:39

Of course you worried but baby is in the best place.

On a practical note best way you can probably help is with food. When Ds has been in hopsital I dont eat unless it's put in front of me. Portion up some of what your having, or go to asda to get some things they can cook easily. Perhaps freeze some meals for when they all get home to.

Is his partner still in hopsital or are they both having to go home?

Original poster
toddlerdays · 19/05/2012 22:42

Everyone's staying at the hospital. I will bring them breakfast in the morning and clean clothes. Wonder if I can bring anything else the would be useful. Clean baby grows for baby?

For which illnesses do the cultures need to be grown 5318008?

Thank you for your messages.

OP posts:
Original poster
toddlerdays · 19/05/2012 22:43

If baby is in an incubator I don't think I should bring anything for baby .... Can anyone advise? I am worried about bringing in germs from outside.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 19/05/2012 22:46

That's good they can all stay :)

When Ds was in hdu he wasnt wearing clothes other than a nappy, but if he is in clothes then baby grows a good idea - make sure they popper up all the way down the leg to make access for monitors easier.

Make sure they have cleaning products and a handcream as the constant cleaning of hands makes them dry.

StealthPolarBear · 19/05/2012 22:46

I doubt the baby will need clothes yet. Does he have any toys? Obv not to play with, but just to welcome him into the world and have something that the parents can hold as his amongst all the hospital stuff?

Gapants · 19/05/2012 22:46

Poor you, try and get some sleep, really the best thing to do. YOu need your strength and your family need you too.

Sending good thoughts to you and the little baby xx

smoggii · 19/05/2012 22:49

Your poor family, my heart goes out to you and i hope that all turns out well.

Sorry i can't offer any practical advice above what has already been suggested

Yeahthatsnotgonnahappen · 19/05/2012 22:51

I'd check if they're dressing him. It might just be nappies and hot lights. I second take phone to bed. The food is a big yes - if they don't want to leave you could take them to the coffee shop and they can have it there.

Clothes is a good idea too.

All infections (bacteria etc) will need to be grown. It takes a minimum of 24 hrs, often longer (up to 5 days) because that's as fast as bacteria grow. But they may start treating on a "best guess" before the results come back.

My prayers are with you (if you don't mind)

SinicalSanta · 19/05/2012 22:52

Hope all goes well.

Could you maybe start fielding calls etc, they may not be up to telling the outside world the sane story over and over. Or that may be horribly intrusive but you know them best

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 19/05/2012 22:56

:( Really feel for you! My nephew was in ICU on breathing apps for a week when he was born (4 weeks ago) It was pnumonia (sp?) But he is fine now. Try and keep positive (I know that is easier said than done). I wouldn't worry too much about taking anything for the baby, as as others have said, they don't dress them in anything in ICU.

I am thinking of you all
x

AllYoursBabooshka · 19/05/2012 22:57

There is nothing you can do right now apart from be there for your family.

I know you feel useless right now but this is how it has to be.

youbethemummylion · 19/05/2012 22:57

Just wanted to let you know DS(2) was in same position as your DB baby he was just given general antibiotics until they identified type of infection but as soon as they knew what they were dealing with they could treat him specifically for that and he was out of SCBU within days.

I know it is really worrying but do try and rest as DB and SIL will not be getting much sleep and having someone there with a clear head was really helpful for me. I was so tired and emotional it helped to have someone there who was clear headed iyswim.

storminabuttercup · 19/05/2012 22:58

Thinking of you and the baby. Sad

It's the best place though.

Yes to taking clean clothes for mum and dad, and some snacks.

Praying for you all xx

Original poster
toddlerdays · 19/05/2012 23:00

Baby has not cried since he was born. He tries to cry but it's as though he cannot.

I know I'm doing the worst thing by trying to disgnose but the hospital seem so confused as to what is wrong.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 19/05/2012 23:00

If your in a position to be able to do so I would also offer to sit with your nephew while they go home for a few hours sleep. I was kicked off the ward by a very nice nurse to go home and sleep and shower. I argued I couldn't but she did me a favour. 2 hours sleep in my own bed and a proper shower helped rejuvenate me for the next few days!

They may not want to but at least they will know the offer is there

StealthPolarBear · 19/05/2012 23:08

Poor little thing :(

NicNocJnr · 19/05/2012 23:10

I can't add anything more, agree about food and supplies (toiletries are another one, I found I was able to go for a shower but had no shampoo only conditioner and toothbrush but no paste as took dregs only expecting to be in for a short while).

It's such a difficult and worrying time and I'm sending my best wishes to you and your family. Your nephew is in the best place and all of my experiences with paed. care have left me with a great deal of confidence in them.

It is a really helpless and hopeless feeling but having been on both sides of it having you taking care of the practicalities and allowing them to focus on your nephew will be a great support. You are helping by being there even if it doesn't feel like much. I hope you can get some sleep and it's not long before he's stronger everyday and home with you all.

GeekLove · 19/05/2012 23:14

My ds1 was in NICU for two days as he swallowed some fluid and couldn't maintain temp at first. He is in the best place and hopefully he will be stronger soon.
As for practical help, do you know any nice recipes they like? You could offer to buy or cook bulk meals for them perhaps.

ddubsgirl · 19/05/2012 23:25

my neice and friends baby both had same as this,both spent about a week in scbu xxxx

2shoesqueenofeverything · 19/05/2012 23:26

xx no advice but hope baby is ok

Flyingwithoutwings · 19/05/2012 23:29

Can't offer anymore advice but I hope the baby is on the mend soon.
Saying prayers for your family xx

scummymummy · 19/05/2012 23:35

Oh poor you and baby and baby's mum and dad. Sounds really scary but scbu will do everything they can, I'm sure, and they really know what they're doing. Your brother is lucky to have such a lovely caring sister. I really hope the baby will recover soon. Does he have a name yet?

SinisterBuggyMonth · 20/05/2012 00:01

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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