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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be so worried about my brother's 4 day old baby

54 replies

toddlerdays · 19/05/2012 22:26

I've just left the hospital. Baby is in intensive care on breathing aparatus and antibiotics. Doctors think he has an infection but they still haven't diagnosed after 2 days.

I am so worried and don't know how I will sleep tonight. What could be wrong?

What can I do to help? Feel helpless.

OP posts:

Jinsei · 20/05/2012 00:13

My dd was in SCBU at the same age, it was horrible. They tested for everything, including a lumbar puncture for meningitis, but eventually decided it was connected to Group B Strep. It was very distressing, and I was in pieces at the time, but dd was fine after a week and is now a very healthy 7yo. :)

It took me a lot longer to get over the whole thing than it took her tbh - I was very anxious about her health for a long time after that.

Hope that your little nephew will be better soon. His parents are lucky to have such a caring and supportive family.:)

pollyjake · 20/05/2012 00:56

Shower gel, toothbrush/ paste, shampoo etc, change of clothes for parents and above all food, even if it's just a sandwich. Sometimes the infection never gets diagnosed, it didn't with my dd. it's a horrible time, encouragethemto take lots of photos, maybe write in a journal. Each day will see like a year to them at the moment. Could you help out at their house as well,water the garden, walk the dog,feed the cat, make sure it's nice and clean for she they get home, do their washing etc x

iscream · 20/05/2012 03:15

Bring a bunch of change for the vending machines?
Offer to recharge all their batteries for them? (for phones, camera's, ipods, e-readers etc.)
Perhaps bring some scentless back liniment, like for the people waiting, it always kills my back, neck & legs staying sitting in hospital chairs.
I hope things get better for you all soon.

iscream · 20/05/2012 03:40

Not sure why I have that extra "like" in there. " like for the people waiting"

Ithinkitsjustme · 20/05/2012 05:11

Not got any more advice for you, but my thoughts are with you and your family. My DD2 was in intensive care for a couple of days with an infection and it's scary but try to get as much rest as you can so you can be there for your brother and his wife.

tholeon · 20/05/2012 07:40

Bless you all it is horrible. Bring stuff in and maybe clean their house so it is nice to come back to. Be there for them as you obviously are doing. Don't try to second guess the doctors. In my experience you get the best possible care in paediatric icu X

EmmaBemma · 20/05/2012 07:50

Thinking of you and your brother and his family. My youngest daughter was in neonatal care and then SCBU for a bit after she was born for similar reasons. It is scary when your tiny baby is so poorly, especially when you don't know what's going on. Agree with the others that sometimes you don't get a diagnosis but that doesn't mean the treatment won't be effective. Hope your nephew gets better very soon.

LivingInASieve · 20/05/2012 08:05

Yes to food and toiletries. Also perhaps a very small teddy/cuddly toy for baby. A big teddy will just get in the way but having a few little personal things feels positive and makes baby seem more "there" (if that makes sense)

My dd was in a similar position (didn't need breathing help though) with a massive group B strep infection. She is now a very healthy six year old.

Wishing your DN all the best.

BlackAffronted · 20/05/2012 08:09

I wish your DN a speedy recovery :(

Something similar happened to my nephew when he was 4 days old just a few weeks ago, he is still in HDU as it turned out to be serious heart defects & he is waiting for an operation to fix it (he is not big enough yet). He couldnt cry/feed or breathe properly after he was born either.

Sirzy · 20/05/2012 08:14

Hope he is doing well.

Been thinking about you overnight. Another thing that would probably be a big help is to take their dirty clothes home and wash them. When your in hopsital you very quickly end up with loads of crap around you!

anewyear · 20/05/2012 10:10

Just a thought,does mum have enough maternity pads etc she may have only taken a few bits in, thinking she would be home shortly..

Thinking of you all, was in SCBU with both DS's, now 10 & 13.

Original poster

toddlerdays · 20/05/2012 11:52

Thank you so much for the messages of support and advice on how to help them. I am going back to hospital now, baby was stable overnight.

OP posts:

Flyingwithoutwings · 20/05/2012 12:10

Glad he was stable overnight. Hope you get some good news today xxx

BlackAffronted · 21/05/2012 07:29

How is he doing?

Original poster

toddlerdays · 21/05/2012 17:17

Transferred to a more specialist unit at another hospital. There is no improvement in his condition and still no diagnosis. They have ruled out some things but we still have very little information.

OP posts:

Mama1980 · 21/05/2012 17:24

Hi nothing to add really just wanted to add my support and good wishes. My ds was born at 26 weeks and had several major operations. Food is very important so keep bringing them food, charge phones iPads etc if they need it and generally just be there. And remember to rest and eat yourself. I will be thinking of you all.

worrywortisworrying · 21/05/2012 17:28

No information better than has already been given, but wanted to say I hope all is OK and I'm rooting for your DN. x

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 21/05/2012 17:31

:( Hope they find out what it is soon. x

Original poster

toddlerdays · 21/05/2012 22:07

Thank you. Baby has had some seizures but he's stabilised now. I don't know what to do, no one does. Just waiting and hoping and praying.

OP posts:

MarksPA · 21/05/2012 23:12

I couldn't read your thread without adding my most heartfelt wishes. SCBU will be doing everything in their power, I have such respect and admiration for them. We were in for 2 weeks, with a newborn with seizures, and it's very frightening to see. Just being there is a massive support - my husband felt useless, but his daily visit (I stayed permanently) was my daily lifeline. I just needed him to sit with me and hold my hand. Yes to food, snacks, clean clothes, toiletries especially hand cream etc as all others have said. Practical support is fab, but really just being there will bring them such comfort. Look after yourself too x.

entropygirl · 21/05/2012 23:16

Best wishes...I will have fingers crossed for you!

sunnydelight · 22/05/2012 10:24

Thinking of you - hope it's good news soon. X

BartletForAmerica · 22/05/2012 10:36

I would make sure that they have some cards congratulating them on the birth of their baby, some normal things celebrating the arrival of their baby to look and hold when they can't sit in NICU.

Cleaning their house and doing the laundry for them sounds like a great idea. Can you make some meals to put in the freezer for when they are home, whether that's just for an evening for a shower and food, or when they come home properly?

Have prayed for the baby and you all while writing this. I don't know who you are but I know that God does.

BlackAffronted · 22/05/2012 10:41

Thinking of your DN xxx My DN is stable for the moment, but is having his heart op in a few weeks.

teaaddict2012 · 22/05/2012 10:48

Oh no, I don't really have anything valid to say other than best wishes with the baby and your bro's family.

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