mum took dd 9 to see new vampire movie (johnny depp)

[bitofcheese]

dd is staying at m&d's tonight, spent the day there. just called and mum said they took her to see it as (quote) dd told her all her friends had seen it (!) and that we were ok with it. i know she wanted to see it but i wouldn't have taken her to see it as the poster alone i thought made the film not look suitable, she is 9 and the movie is a 12a which apparently means a 12 year old can see it without a guardian but a 9 year old can with a guardian (so i have been told). not happy. mum said there is one scene only with a passionate kiss, this fills me with horror tbh, perhaps i am over reacting but i am very protective with her with regards to anything even remotely sexual. i remember when i was about 10 or 11 m&d made the mistake of taking me to the kings road with older sister for her birthday to see the rocky horror picture show, i was mortified, i knew i was too young, i can remember the night out very clearly, no idea what my parents were thinking of......they won't make that mistake again, she knows i am somewhat upset. have any of you seen it?

I take my seven year old to 12a films.

We went to see the avengers assemble film as a family last bank holiday.

I went to see it tonight. There are some parts that I absolutely wouldn't want my 9 year old to watch (sexual) and there were parts that I know would scare the crap out of my dd1.

But The Avengers is A LOT different to Dark Shadows, I would let my 5 year old watch the Avengers.

Don't treat her like a baby, she isn't one and you'll force her to rebel very hard against you when she hits her teens if you continue smothering her. You need to help her grow up, not stunt her because you wish she were a still a little baby who is totally dependent on you.

There is no reason why she shouldn't watch that movie with an adult, it's not pornagraphic, doesn't promote violence, doesn't have adult themes. It's a fairly innocent movie with a bit of kissing (sleeping beauty, snow white and cinderella also had kissing, did you ban them too?).

Let your girl grow up, she needs a mother she can talk to and learn from. What you are doing will only push her away.

The avengers has a lot of, albeit cartoon style, violence though and a lot of Scarlett johansen in skintight clothes.

Bid take dd2 to dark shadows too - except it's so expensive for cinema twice in a couple of weeks!

I too have seen. I thought both for sexual content and violence it should have been a 15. It certainly isn't a tame 12 which primary age kids should see. I would have been embarrassed to sit next to my gran during the main sex seen and I'm in my thirties! I'm not a prude but it is an older teens film I'd say.

Seen Dark Shadows that should be.

you are horrified at a kiss really ? i think you are being over protective children of 9 should know what kissing is , you are over reacting ,

the voice describing it like those old 60's black and white educational short films with the well spoken english mans voice 'the man puts his penis into the womens vagina....etc etc' :D

My word! What kind of book was it? I thought Ladybird would be safe! I suppose it depends how many women were in each picture

I think it's done now. Would you be going to see the film? Maybe if you do you will better be able to judge how you feel about it and how it fits in with your style. At least then you'll have a reference point to use in chats with both DD and DM - no film like that/worse than that etc. But I think these things are actually very personal and it's difficult to make a blanket judgement.
I am happy to let my DCs see some things others aren't because of the way we talk about things, what they know about sex, gender and relationships but also based on each child's temperament. I wouldn't say another parent was in the wrong for not being happy if I had taken their child to see a film that is a 12a without approval - their child could be more easily upset etc.

It's not just a kiss they are having sex, albeit you don't see any nudity. And it's v raunchy sex at that. There is also a scene where someone is giving the vampire a blow job, again no nudity but very clear. And it is violent. I think your mum probably realised it wasn't really appropriate and is now playing the contents down. There is also weed smoking just to check the drugs box too.

I enjoyed it but not for a 9 year old.

A 9 year old would not see that as very clear though. Or at least I would bloody hope not!

As a child I watched James Bond films, and plenty of other films where as an adult you know exactly what is being implied, but as an innocent child it just sails over your head.

For goodness sakes, even Shrek has a lot of "adult" humour in it that children should not understand.

The blow job possibly but not the flying around sex scene which is unambiguous. I think the people who've seen the film on here say it isn't suitable for a 9yo. Only the ones going by op's mum's description of a passionate kiss think op is over reacting. Your mum's trying to play it down because she knows you'll be cross if you knew the contents, op.

Harry potter yes, last Twilight no , hunger games absolutely no way!

You have to research 12s they are very variable.

BBFC website gives good detailed parent guides to exactly what's in each film but there's still a big difference between "natural" 12A films like Avengers (apart from the "Q" word ) and "strong" 12As like Hunger Games and Woman in Black which had to be edited with a scalpel to squeeze down to a 12A from their original 15 certificate.

I wouldn't take DD(9) to see Dark Shadows - it's just generally not a film for pre-teen children. I'd do a very gentle request to your DM that she should check with you before going to any 12A films in future.

Personally I wouldn't worry about what she saw, Im sure it was fine, but I would prefer if people checked with me before taking my dd to see a 12A.

Just out of courtesy, u know.
Not really worth falling out with your dm about

Isn't this the purpose of grandparents? You get to do things with them that your mum and dad wouldn't allow. Nothing too dangerous or too bad, just a little step over the boundary.

i haven't fallen out with my mum, i was just initially disappointed and not too pleased with her, still not really BUT it's done, no big deal. i didn't exactly have a sleepless night over it and yes, i am sure it went over dd's head but still think she is too young to see simulated/impressionable sex scenes, ffs i don't mind her seeing a kiss, i ain't no prude but there are kisses and kisses. i am not stupid, i know, like with food, that some subjects dealt with in the wrong way can create problems/indirectly encourage them to do something that you don't want them to do. i am laid back about somethings but i still think that at 9 she is too young to see some things. i grew up in a house with laid back parents who looking back used to let me see things i shouldn't ie i always remembering watching bouquet of barbed wire. i was probably only about 10 ish and even then i felt embarassed watching it, i can't believe my parents let me watch that, noway would i let dd watch fucking bouquet of barbed wire. i don't particularly go by my parents levels of deciding what she can and can't watch going by what they let me watch although i turned out ok ie i didn't sleep with the local football team

I'm with you OP. Surely the whole point of film ratings is to give parents guidance on what is suitable without them having to watch the whole film themselves.

There are plenty of great films for kids that are PG & U rated.

I would be v annoyed if a relative did this without checking with me first.

I wont be taking dd aged 8 to see this film. Yanbu.

Anybody who thinks the op is overreacting, read the parental guide on imdb. Absolutely not suitable for a 9 year old. And I don't quite see the logic of "the less kissing they see, the more likely they are to experiment"?

I wouldn't trust IMDB for anything as important as a parental guide. Use a real one. IMDB can be edited by anyone, just like Wiki. So take what it says with a grain of salt.

BTW I've also heard that the movie is horrible, so who wants to see it anyway?

A friend just told me yesterday she'd gone to see it with her just-7-yr-old and 10-yr-old and I was a bit shocked. I've seen the trailer and it doesn't seem like a 'family' film to me. (sorry if link doesn't work in UK - I'm abroad) The trailer shows some of the sexual content. YANBU (and some posters are making huge assumptions about you)

This is the IMDB Parent advisory guide, they're usually pretty comprehensive.

www.imdb.com/title/tt1077368/parentalguide

Sounds like the kiss where they were banging into walls etc was more of a supernatural than a sexual thing. (It says they were flying!) The other sex scenes sound like they would be immediately obvious to adults but would go over a child's head.

I think the violence etc would bother me more TBH. But it would depend how mature the 9 year old was.

I'm jealous. I've been dying to see that film since the trailers came out!!!