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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cul de sacs are not playgrounds....

173 replies

Bestb411pm · 19/05/2012 17:01

Last bloody forty minutes spent listening to kids bounce a sodding basketball right in the middle of the road. Maybe they're going for some sort of world record?

I've gone from been mildly annoyed to hoping the bloody thing goes through their car window and not mine. I can see why the parents don't want them banging outside their window if they keep them in the back garden, but what are they thinking letting them out to play with a sodding ball in the middle of the road?

AIBU? Really?

Angry
OP posts:
slatternlymother · 19/05/2012 17:50

My thoughts EXACTLY gnome And I'm sorry to hear about your dd's accident Sad

Aribura · 19/05/2012 17:50

Don't worry the YABUers are the ones with the bratty annoying kids.

WorraLiberty · 19/05/2012 17:52

Oh thank you for that amazing fact Aribura

May I ask how you know that?

Have you met them all?

5madthings · 19/05/2012 17:52

i get that the noise of children can be annoying, hell it annoys me why do you think i chuck mine out the front to play

but what are they meant to do, i played out as a child, was lucky enough to live on RAF housing estates and all the kids played out and milled around.

i try and get mine to be courteous to others, but they are children, ds4 was loud today but he was LAUGHING, he has a right raucous cackle, i find it cute obviously! but i did cringe at how loud he was but i can hardly tell him off for laughing and having fun! as i said i dont let them out before 9am on wkends and normally they are in by 6:30 on a school night at the wkends they may go out for a bit after dinner but will be in by 7:30? on a summer evening when its still light out its nice for them to play out, and in the summer holidays they will be out, but probably 8 at the latest asi like to get them in bed for some peace and quiet!

i dont know its really hard to get the balance i think, children can be noisy but god its better than them being inside all day and lawnmowers are noisy, cars and motorbikes can be noisy, our old neighbours were forever revving the engine of their motor bikes late at night, early in the morning.

yes shrieking and shouting is a bit annoying, but they are outside and playing, i just think part of it is that people are not used to children playing out anymore, it doesnt happen as often as it did, mainly due to traffic but when they can play out its good and incidentally i have asked our (childless) neighbours if they mind the noise, one has grown up kids and says NO she isnt bothered and remembers what its like to have young children, and the others were not bothered and i have told them to please feel free to either tell me if the kids are being annoying or tell them to keep it down if they are being too noisy. i do that anyway myself but what else can i do?

ll31 · 19/05/2012 17:54

yabu - think it's great to see kids playing out - what do you want them to do - not appear in your world until they're adults??

brighthair · 19/05/2012 17:54

I don't mind the playing, it's the constant screaming that drives me mad. Every night scream scream (louder) scream, silence, wails, scream
The children that lived next to my old house screamed all the time so when the girl was screaming one day I didn't take any notice. It didn't stop and eventually I went out to find her hanging out of a second floor window. As I stepped out the door she fell on the concrete patio, breaking both her legs
Seriously, if I had screamed like these kids do in the street, my mum would have dragged me in by the ear

RetroMom · 19/05/2012 17:54

This thread reminds me of the nursery school my youngest went to. The old folk from the block of flats (privately owned) next door kept moaning about the kids making noise! WTH? Why did you buy next door to a nursery then? Same applies with cul de sacs. That's what they're for!

1950sHousewife · 19/05/2012 17:56

YA and YANBU

I had the same situation in our flat which overlooked a grassy courtyard. Some local kids decided it was the best place to play. Honestly, they weren't just playing, they were lobbing balls, screaming and damaging cars. I couldn't open our flat windows because the noise was awful, it seemed to echo around the courtyard and wake my newborn. And the thump, thump, thump of the ball against the flat wall just about drove me insane.
And within 2 mins there were two playparks and open spaces, so there was plenty of options.

Turned out, i wasn't the only one upset by the noise. One old lady had been sworn at and another couple had things thrown at their doors by the kids when they asked them to play elsewhere.

In the end, I politely asked the children if they would consider playing only for an hour at a time and then finding somewhere else to play. I was nice about it and they were pretty good about doing it.

So - in conclusion - I think you have the right after a couple of hours to ask if they would change the game they are playing to something less noisy. There is definitely a balance between kids playing and peace and quiet. I know, I have 2 noisy kids and would want to be made aware if they were disturbing anyone.

Babylon1 · 19/05/2012 17:57

Ah, kerby! Loved that game as a kid Grin

5madthings · 19/05/2012 17:58

1950housewife what you are descibing isnt just playing tho is it?! its anti-social behaviour if they are damaging cars., swearingf at people etc.

5madthings · 19/05/2012 17:59

babylon so did i and its great to see my own kids playing it! Grin they are obviously not as good at it as me, not that i ever play it really competively with ds2 oh no not ever...

JarethTheGoblinKing · 19/05/2012 18:00

Isn't the plural of cul-de-sac 'culs-de-sac'?

1950sHousewife · 19/05/2012 18:02

True 5mad - but it started off as playing, only about 6 of them, quite nicely, but even then it was pretty loud and irritating.

Then over a few weeks it turned into about 15 of them (from the estate opposite I think) and that's when it got antisocial.

After I asked them to find somewhere else, it went back to being local kids, like the toddlers in the flats etc, and that was a happy sound again and I really liked it.
I think there are grades of children playing that makes things ok or not ok. I mean, music being played in the background coming from elsewhere can be fine, depending on what it is and how loud it is. I think it's the same for children. Happy playing is a lovely sound. Screechy battles and repetitive thumping can be awful.

Chocaholics · 19/05/2012 18:04

OP YANBU, I live in a cul de sac and this drives me mad, I've had lights on my car broken a couple of times by ball games and as there isn't great parking where I live I've almost hit a child when he ran out from behind a car when playing.

RetroMom · 19/05/2012 18:05

Jareth, it may just be. But it's Saturday. A big football day. And I'm having the day off.

I can spell pedant! [blowsraspberry]

Original poster
Bestb411pm · 19/05/2012 18:05

Ive not once said kids shouldn't be out playing, but they should be taught how to behave in certain situations.

This situation is that a great hulking basketball isn't a suitable toy for playing with in the vicinity of cars and the middle of the road isn't a suitable alternative to a basket ball court.

OP posts:
schoolchauffeur · 19/05/2012 18:06

Ooh this thread has brought back happy memories of my childhool- we lived in a cul de sac- 16 semis. In the late early seventies- only 2 people had cars and one of those was parked in a nearby lock up. 8 kids and we had a whole street to play in- used to go round and round on our bikes, play cricket , roundrs, just hang out. The old folks used to sometimes yell when we got our ball out of the garden but mostly as long as we knocked and asked they were OK and a couple of them would even give us a few pence to go round the local shop to buy sweets especially if we got their ciggies for them! Wouldn't happen these days... My folks still live in the street and there are now about 25 cars- its like a car park and the dustcart can't even get down it!!
I would love for my kids to have had that safety and community to play in! Enjoy it while it is still there.

5madthings · 19/05/2012 18:08

if the child is being careful its fine, if they hit a car its not, but mine are quite capable of playing and not hitting a car with a ball, if they did they would apologise and not be allowed to play out with a ball until they could be responsible.

my kids and others have been playing out for ages and no cars have ever been damaged.

if you have a problem talk politely to the child or the parents? as i have said tell mine to be careful and have spoken to neighbours and know they would tell me if there was a problem etc.

Hulababy · 19/05/2012 18:08

I can honestly say that my DD isn't one of the "bratty" types at all. Infact she is one of the quieter children on our culdesac. She doesn't play on other people's gardens and drives, has never damaged anything playing out, not even accidently, and isn't a squealer/shrieker type either.

But I still don't mind the children playing outside on our street. Infact I find it rather lovely that they all play out together so nicely, with a mix of ages/genders all getting on so well.

But if I did fele it was particularly noisy or my car was being hit then I would go out and have a quiet word to tell them to keep it down (voices or balls)

LynetteScavo · 19/05/2012 18:09

YABU.

If you really have an issue with their behavior go out and talk to them/ their parents. They might be quite happy to play something else if you are nice to them.

catgirl1976 · 19/05/2012 18:14

YABVVVU

Children play.

Cul de sacs are a safeish place to play

You are a grinch :)

toofattorun · 19/05/2012 18:18

I have exactly the same gripe. Bloody kids.

5madthings · 19/05/2012 18:22

exactly lynettescavo if the op has a problem she can politely talk to the child or the parents, i know if one of my neighbours did i would tell the children to play a different game, bring them inside for a bit etc, but if you dont communicate that there is a problem you wont get anywhere.

GnomeDePlume · 19/05/2012 18:25

Thanks Slattern it was a while ago now. DD had a few weeks hobbling around on crutches to remind her of her own stupidity.

The problem is that if it is a road then there are going to be cars as DD found to her cost.

BoneyBackJefferson · 19/05/2012 18:26

I used to live in a cul-de-sac.
It wqas the end of the road and branched off in to two matching areas.

The side that we chose was OAPs and single people/chidless couples.
On the other was families, we found out pretty quickly that the parents
sent their child to our cul-de-sac to play.

When asked why they where quite honest about it.

They didn't like the noise or the damage that was being done to their property so they sent them over to ours.

I didn't stay there long.

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