To be shocked at an acquaintance who is an active Christian, but has been having a 5 year affair

[EatsBrainsAndLeaves]

I probably am being as this doesn't personally affect me.

But this woman is a Christian who is very active in her local church - on the PCC and talks about her faith a lot. Yet she is having an affair with a married man who has 2 kids and has been for 5 years. She also gets some money from him to help with her bills.

I know the married man is most to blame as he is being unfaithful to his wife. But I just think she is so hypocritical to talk about Christian values a lot and yet behave in such an unchristian way. And it does annoy me.

A very active Christian it would seem (arf, arf)

But seriously what business is it of yours?

I did say in my opening post compos that I knew it was none of my business. Some posters have actually disagreed with this and said by telling me she has made it my business

EatsBrainsAndLeaves, do you have any thoughts on why she might have told you about this affair?

Sorry Flick, of course this is not acceptable behaviour for anyone. I am now an aethist and I don't have any friends, Christian or otherwise who would think this is acceptable behaviour.

You should make sure her affair is public knowledge in order to maintain the credibility of the church

Agree with Flicktheswitch.

Atheists and agnostics have a moral code too, but you don't hear this used as a stick to beat them with if they get it wrong - "oh, that wasn't a very atheist thing to do!"

Atheists dont have an 'Atheist moral code'. Its not a religion or specific movement, just people who dont believe in a particular concept.

But why are people so quick to tell a Christian that they are not behaving in a Christian way? Where is the equivalent for those with other moral codes or none - or do they get let off more lightly?

Because Christianity is a religion that does set out certain moral guidelines.

So if a non-Christian has a moral code which other people can't guess, that makes them a less easy target for judging?

(In fact, Christians are not one-size-fits-all either...)

It probably makes it less easy for other people to tell if they are breaching that code.

I think there is a difference to publically signing up to a set of beliefs or codes. So for example I am a feminist. If I went around telling DD not to play with "boys" toys I would expect to get pulled up on it (nicely) on the basis of being hypocritical.

Yes hive I agree it makes it more difficult. But IMHO there's no good reason to hold a religious person more accountable than someone whose moral code is harder to guess.

Does the OP ask all her friends what their moral code is, and then judge them if they deviate from it? No? Well in that case she is treating someone differently in an unfair way, because of their religion.

well i think it's very unfornunate that this lady is not setting a better example for christian living. HOWEVER as has been said being a christian doesn't make you immune from making bad life decisions. Christians are just as imperfect as everyone else. In fact christians believe Jesus died so they could be forgiven for their sins.

However YANBU in the sense that grossly immoral acts such as adultery would make a person unfit to call themselves a christian until they sincerely repented and changed or stopped the behaviour.

So in essence: committing something like adultery or stealing, and still calling oneself a fully practicing christian makes one a hypocrite. Repentance entails changing the behaviour and doesn't make a person a hypocrite.

*unfortunate.

Sometimes people act as if they think that aligning themselves with a particular moral code makes them better than people that dont.

If they then transgress that code, it encourages others to point that out.

"make a person unfit to call themselves a christian"

But Sparkly we all sin, often. We'd constantly be a Christian one minute, and not the next, if we followed that logic!

That would apply to non-religious people as well though, hive, including those who are loud about not needing religion because they live such a "good life" without it.

Yes it would.

YABU. Christians don't see themselves (or shouldn't see themselves) as any better than anyone else. It's a core part of the philosophy of Christianity that nobody is without sin. Even the saints weren't without sin.

I find it interesting, and in a way encouraging, that the standard that the non-Christians on this thread are holding Christians to is that of Christ Himself. Encouraging because it shows how deeply Christian ethics still permeate our culture, but perhaps also a bit sad because it means that we still aren't Christ-like enough, and that we haven't done a very good job of showing non-Christians what the Gospel is.

"I find it interesting, and in a way encouraging, that the standard that the non-Christians on this thread are holding Christians to is that of Christ Himself"

How do you get that? Not having an extra-marital affair is christ-like?