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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If someone calls your name from another room...

52 replies

Arana · 19/05/2012 09:53

...and you respond with "Yeah? What's up?" (or something similar)

Do you expect the caller to continue the conversation/question, or would you expect to stop doing what you're doing and go to them?

OP posts:

hillyhilly · 19/05/2012 09:54

I have at least one row every week with my husband about this!!

squeakytoy · 19/05/2012 09:55

all depends on who is calling you, why they are calling you and what you are doing yourself at the time really...

GwendolineMaryLacey · 19/05/2012 09:56

If you want to talk to someone you should go and find them unless you're me in which case you can holler and everyone should come running immediately. And I absolutely did not ring DH from upstairs just now to tell him to bring me up some tea

savoycabbage · 19/05/2012 09:56

I expect the caller to come to the person they are calling. I would see it as a location finding mission. Not a summons.

MardyBra · 19/05/2012 09:56

If the kids do it to me, I say "sorry, can't hear you" even if I can and make them come and find me.

OlaRapaceFru · 19/05/2012 09:58

Chez Rapace it's only DP and me. If he calls me, I think he expects me to go to him - although really I think he should come to me. Fortunately it's a rare occurrence, so not worth arguing about

Spuddybean · 19/05/2012 09:58

well i'm annoying and i say someones name meaning i want them, then i don't shout anymore and wait for them to come to me or a more convenient point in the hallway or something.

But if something needs to be done then i just shout the whole instruction, eg: 'DP? Can you put the bin out? i can hear the van coming...' But DP NEVER answers (which drives me crazy). So i don't know if he's heard. So i shout it again and still get no answer. Then i go downstairs to do it myself (thinking he can't have heard as he would have at least said yes) to find him doing it. And when i say why didn't you answer? he says 'i heard youuuuuuwa' in a stroppy teenage way. Erm how do i know that then?

AliceHurled · 19/05/2012 09:59

Either continue the conversation (small house) or caller finds callee. Never callee goes to caller. Unless of course they have mobility problems or have their hands full and need a hand. Then I'd say 'would you be able to come and help me please'

ChasingSquirrels · 19/05/2012 09:59

^ what Gwendoline said (except the last line :))

Flyingwithoutwings · 19/05/2012 10:01

Had this argument yesterday. I hate being called, reminds me of my Mum calling when I was a child, it was never important.
I think you should actually say "X can you come here": assuming they want you to come and see that they're watching / doing.
Just calling someone's name does my head in

Original poster

Arana · 19/05/2012 10:01

For example, child upstairs doing homework or reading a book. You're calling them to tell them dinner is ready, but you only call their name, and don't reply after they reply.

Or husband in next room on the computer, you call to ask for some help putting the washing away, but only call their name, and don't reply after they reply.

OP posts:

susiedaisy · 19/05/2012 10:02

Agree with squeaky all depends on Who what and where in this house!

Spuddybean · 19/05/2012 10:05

if i call dp's name and say what i want him for, he wont answer because then he doesn't have to do it and can pretend he didn't hear me. Just calling his name is ambiguous enough to pique his interest that it might be something good i'm offering!

Although this is the man who heard me slip down the stairs and stil didn't come to see if i was alright - apparently he just had to finish that level!

Next time i'm shouting zombies

workshy · 19/05/2012 10:05

if the kids shout me, then I tell them 'I'm in the kitchen' etc and they come and find me
if I shout them I will say 'dcs can you come here please' and the do

nasty abusive ex used to shout and it was a demand to drop everything and go and tend to his every whim!

Tanith · 19/05/2012 10:05

If it's DH or DS (usually trivial and they're big enough to come to me), I would expect them to come and find me if they want me.

If it's DD (2 years old and usually into mischief), I would drop everything anf go running to find her as I know from experience that she is probably stuck somewhere, needs the toilet now, or hurt herself. In other words, it's urgent!

tabulahrasa · 19/05/2012 10:08

If I shout someone they should come to me, if someone shouts me they should come to me...

Original poster

Arana · 19/05/2012 10:14

Interesting - thank you for your replies :)

When I was a child, my stepmum would take it as a sign of disrespect if you didn't go to her when she called your name.

She'd shout my name, I'd reply, and then she wouldn't say anything further. Her reasoning being that the didn't want to have to shout. I figured if she wanted a chat with me, she could come and see me, and if it was just a quick question, it wouldn't hurt just to shout it.

She saw it as me being rude for not coming when my name was called, I saw it as rude for being summoned when I was busy (whether it was business or pleasure) for usually trivial matters, or short answers to short questions.

So there's the background ;)

I just wanted to know what other people thought :)

OP posts:

Spuddybean · 19/05/2012 10:18

If it's for a chat they should find you. I only shout if i need something like help out of the bath, because i'm a whale and i can't support my bump and the water is getting cold

Scholes34 · 19/05/2012 10:19

The response is to holler "come here and talk to me".

Dinner is signalled to the house with a bell we bought from the church jumble sale - not used for anything else, so message is clear.

We deliberately chose a phone with an intercom so I can ring DH downstairs to ask him to bring me a cup of tea up to the loft.

YourFanjoIsNotAHandbag · 19/05/2012 10:21

I refuse to speak to anyone that shouts mum from upstairs.

If they want me, they can bloody well come and find me.

QuintessentialShadows · 19/05/2012 10:21

I think it is perfectly fine to call the children to come for dinner.
If I want my dh to help put washing away, I dont shout for him from one room to the next, I go to him. I expect him to do the same for me.

If the kids are calling me from one room to the other, I dont reply, or say "Come find me, I cant hear you". etc.

Gingefringe · 19/05/2012 10:29

Scholes love the idea of a dinner bell. I fancy buying a gong for this purpose.

Most annoying call in our house is can someone get me toilet paper when they want to wipe their arse and couldn't be bothered to check if there was paper on the toilet roll before they sat on the throne.

amillionyears · 19/05/2012 10:36

One of the golden rules of our household is "do not talk to me from another room".Instilled in absolutely all members and any visitors too.We are that harsh about it!--

Rachog · 19/05/2012 10:39

This drives me insane. If you want me.come and find me. Don't screech at me across the house. Unless you news toilet paper in which case I will make an exception.

However I on the other hand can shout and expect a reply.

WoTmania · 19/05/2012 10:46

Depends on who it is, tone of voice and where they are. DS1 (6) will just yell 'mum', he gets told to come to me where i can hear him. If DD (3) were to yell from, say, the loo I'd go up as she probably needs help.

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