To be confused about DDs sex-ed question?

[CharlieUniformNovemberTango]

This past two weeks DD has been having the Sex Education talks at school.

She's come back with a few queations regarding periods and the general view that she will adopt any children :o

BUT, today, she has 'the Boy talk' and asked about the voice changing etc. Then she said that someone in the class asked about gay sex. The girl asked specifically how gay men had sex.

The teacher replied that she is not allowed to tell them how gay sex happens and that is something thy have to ask their parents.

Is that right? Are they not allowed to tell the children?

It's not a faith school btw (not that I think that should make a difference tbh)

How old is she?

Sorry- forgot that bit!

She is 11. They are year 6

Well it's better than what we would have had at catholic school.

They liked to pretend it wouldn't happen to any of us so was not discussed at all

It'll be school policy.

How old is DD, and have you ever looked at the SRE curriculum, or spoken to a teacher about what is covered?

x-posts!

Isn't it supposed to be a basic birds and bees and puberty talk?

Tbh I'd be rather worried that a year 6 is worried about what gay sex constitutes.

I can understand that at 11 really. I can imagine the "Aibu to expect my 11 year old not to be taught about anal sex" thread from some parents.

I think the whole concept is a lot to take in at that age without adding extra things to the equation.

I remember getting the same response when asking about oral sex at my convent school 14 years ago. It would be nice to think times had changed.

I guess it's a case of what they can handle at their age.

It just seems to me that if you're going to explain the mechanics of it all then that is a valid thing to explain?

Google 'section 28'. Am typing one handed whilst breastfeeding so can't type enough to explain.

It's more like this is what will happen/is happening to your body and this is how you get pregnant type talk.

Why would a year 6 need to know about gay sex?

I don't think they have covered oral sex either.

But I'm not expecting a run down on techniques and positions which I think Oral sex would come under.

I think it must be confusing for them. They have just learnt that men penetrate vaginas when having sex and I guess it's normal to wonder what happens between men who have no vanginas.

Year 6 is more "this part does this" than anything else, I really don't think at that age they need to be aware of anal sex in any context!

At least she wasn't told that "homosexuality is not normal and I'm not going to talk about it" which is what we got from our sex ed teacher, when we were 15!

Then they can go home and ask parents who can answer it in a way suitable for that child if they are that concerned. For most 11 year olds the thought won't even cross their minds!

Section 28 is long gone...

I'm not so sure though Sirzy. They are being taught to accept homosexuality all the time. I think they will wonder what it involves.

I wonder what parents will say when asked?

Accepting something and knowing the mechanics of something are two different things and they don't need to know detail to accept it

No they don't need to know I guess. But I think they will wonder.

They are getting told about how to make babies, about being in love and having feelings for others. Homosexuality has been mentioned during the loving someone / feelings parts. It follows that they may question sex between same sex couples.

I think that's wrong, actually, assuming that they have been told how heterosexual sex happens (ie the mechanics of it). At 11, some of them may be starting to become aware of their own sexuality - how is a child who is perhaps starting to think they may be gay going to feel when they hear a teacher isn't allowed to tell them how gay sex happens, but it's ok to ask how straight sex happens? Either they're old enough to know the mechanics of sex, or they aren't. Telling them one but not the other implies gay sex is somehow wrong or shameful.

See that's what I felt about it Naoko

What did you say, Charlie?

When she asked about gay sex, I mean!

There are guidelines for teaching sex ed in year six. Lots of areas are meant to be referred to parents but not dismissed. These include gay sex, and also abortion. It is basic biology at that age with a good dose of 'relationship/feelings/worries about bodies etc. As a teacher and parent I actually think year 6 sex ed can be really useful if taught well.

But the teaching of sex at year 6 is about the reproduction need for it rather than the fun side which is what gay sex comes into.

If your happy for your daughter to know the ins and outs then tell her but I can understand why parents dont feel the need for their 11 year old to know about anal sex and think the teacher did the right thing.