To think that a lot of women on MN are married to idiots?

[fluffiphlox]

Bullying idiots.
Cruel idiots.
Mummy's boy idiots.
Unfaithful idiots.
Financially abusive etc.etc.
What were these women thinking? Is this the danger of looking for a sperm donor rather than a life-partner and friend? Some threads even seem to indicate that there were indications before marriage and the women chose to ignore them.
I am being deliberately provocative of course but is there a grain of truth?

i think most people come here to post about bad stuff though

there would be no pont in a thread saying

'oh my dh put the rubbish out, brought me tea in bed, paid all the bills, walked the dogs, went to parents evening, was nice and civil to me'

etc

I do think that some ladies pick a man as a 'sperm donor'. I know one such couple - she was desperate to get married and pregnant. They seem perfectly happy though.

Agree Empusa

Well faceforradio it was his idea of a joke. He likes women, though finds some of them/us a bit scarey.

fluff - If he finds some women scary, it doesn't really sound as if he does like women tbh

Well I find some women scarey too. Some people in general, I find scarey.

Get home. Shit, if I was worried about the time he got hoe, we really would have problems.

Saying you find some people scary is fine. Specifically saying you find some women scary is different.

Yes crowface - you would be totally flamed!

"Some threads even seem to indicate that there were indications before marriage and the women chose to ignore them."

Have you ever heard of low self esteem?

YANBU, have you seen the average person walking down any high street. But then, that's what love is, isn't it. We don't all fall in love with Mr Super sexy / kind / clever, we fall in love with real people

Bennifer - We can't all fall in love with and have wonderful partners who look super sexy. But we can choose (if our self esteem and judgement holds up) to have relationships with decent people who treat us well.

slim pickings hey?

Leave all the bastards !

*Bennifer - We can't all fall in love with and have wonderful partners who look super sexy. But we can choose (if our self esteem and judgement holds up) to have relationships with decent people who treat us well.
*

No. You can't. You can choose to have a relationship with someone who you believe to be decent and who appears to treat you well. They could turn out to be a lying, cheating arsehole.

This time last week I would have been in the smug "I've got a lovely DP" brigade. Now, I'm booking appointments with the solicitor and STI clinic. Things aren't always as the appear...

I don't think I said my OH 'looked super sexy'. We are both ancient now but we suit each other. I'm not saying I'm not neurotic either. But I have seen one or two women i know, (well two) desperate to have children, settling for twerps, and then getting shot of said twerp once they have had the child/children. This is, of course, what it looks like from the outside. No-one knows what the relationship is like on the inside and that, thinking about it, is what worries me about the advice we offer on the Relationships thread.

Aw Borntofolk

BornToFolk - So sorry to hear that. That is rough. And you are right. We can choose who we think are decent DP's and be wrong. Hope things get better for you.

And borntofolk I saw your other thread and you seem to have been treated dreadfully.

I've seen the other thread - my point wasn't we should be happy to marry abusive people, just rather the reality that many / most of us, will quite likely marry idiots (whether we're aware of it is a different matter)

Bennifer, that may happen. But I have also seen a lot of people marry and have kids with people where it is already obvious that they are not great partners

Casual MN sexism at it's best !

If I posted that for most men the reality is that many / most, will quite likely marry a nutter I'd fully expect to ( rightly ) be accused of being a sexist arsehole.

YANBU

...and those who think they're not married to the idiots actually are but just haven't read the signs yet ...