Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP whinging that I go to cinema with my friend rather than him

53 replies

Choks · 16/05/2012 22:17

DP only ever gets to go to the cinema if I go with him. Therefore I feel responsible if he "misses" films. We've been to see quite a few things these past few months but sometimes I like a girly night at the cinema with my friend too and other times I like to take the kids (DP and I don't live together).

dp has just said he's off work next wednesday so we can go to cinema then to see Dark Shadows or Dictator. I said I'd already made plans to take DS to see avengers. He said "well when can WE go then? don't know how much longer dark shadows will be on, I don't want to miss it" Hmm so I said "well actually, I told my friend I'd go and see that with her" his response to this was "but you went to see American Pie with her!" Hmm yes I remember!

So he's saying "well what can WE go and see then??" so I said we can see Dictator. He wants to go one day next week despite knowing I'm going twice next week already.

AIBU here?? It's not my fault he has nobody else to go with, surely I shouldn't have to go to cinema just because he wants to all the time?? it's not that i don't spend any time with him either btw, we're going away for the whole weekend this weekend, other weekends we often stay at each others houses, coffees during the week etc but I do like to see my friend's too!!

AIBU/

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 16/05/2012 22:19

Why can't he go to the cinema by himself? Why are you responsible if he misses a film? Confused

YourFanjoIsNotAHandbag · 16/05/2012 22:19

Why does he only get to go to the cinema if you go with him?

TupperwareTwat · 16/05/2012 22:20

YABU. You can all go together. Going to the cinema needn't be an exclusive activity.

Original poster
Choks · 16/05/2012 22:21

But I feel I am entitled to go places without him sometimes! A girls night is a girls night, not a couples night with friend tagging along.

He just won't go by himself, he won't do anything without me

OP posts:
HaleAndPacemaker · 16/05/2012 22:21

Why can't he go alone? Confused

dexter73 · 16/05/2012 22:22

It's not much fun going to the cinema by yourself though. Can't he go with you and your ds, or you and your friend?

Freshletticia · 16/05/2012 22:23

Why spend so much time in the cinema at all? It's much nicer (and cheaper) in the garden. Get himout there digging.

dexter73 · 16/05/2012 22:24

I wouldn't class digging as fun Grin!

Original poster
Choks · 16/05/2012 22:25

not with me and friend, no. I refuse to give up every bit of my 'girl' time.

He could come with me and DS but that isn't the film he wanted to see.

OP posts:
DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 16/05/2012 22:26

Where do you find the money to go the cinema more than once in a blue moon?! Shock I'd need to take out a second mortgage to go watch a movie. You know, if I even had a first mortgage.....

Does your DP have no one else he can go with? Really? Seems a silly thing for him to stress about. Could he tag along with you and your friend maybe when you go? Cinema doesn't really present a 3rd wheel issue- the 3 of you presumably wont be chatting during the film so in theory no one should feel left out. And it's a movie you all want to see anyway.

2rebecca · 16/05/2012 22:27

Going to the cinema on your own is a bit miserable unless it's an arty cinema and you are trying to pick someone up.
If I told my husband I wanted to see a film and he chose to go with a female friend rather than me I'd be a bit upset. I don't really see going to the cinema as a girly night out anyway as you just sit there in silence.
I'd go to the cinema with your husband and the pub with your friend.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 16/05/2012 22:27

Fair enough. He'll have to suck it up and go with his own mates then wont he?

2rebecca · 16/05/2012 22:29

Sorry meant husband chose to go with a male friend, if he went with a female friend I'd definitely be pissed off.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 16/05/2012 22:29

That sounds like a lot of cinema time. You must really like films.

Your dp is just going to have to lump it isn't he? You have other plans so he either misses a film (which doesn't seem like such a bad thing), finds some friends, or he grows up and goes alone.

Kayano · 16/05/2012 22:32

Who are all these people who frequent the cinema alone?

I couldn't do it. I'd be too shy.

He shouldn't have to think 'oh wait, OP is going to the cinema twice next week I mustn't ask her...'

He's thinking. 'I really want to see this, will you come with me?'

You don't sound all that into him OP

WithACherryOnTop · 16/05/2012 22:34

I love going to the cinema by myself. Alone or not you sit in the dark,watch the film,and don't talk,if you're considerate that is.

I do think you should make time and go with him occasionally,but you can't be his soul source of entertainment. Both of you need to spend time with other people too.

And digging is not fun!Grin

Horsetowater · 16/05/2012 22:35

If you want a girls night out, go and see a girls film. See the manfilms with him and the girlfilms with your girls.

goodasgold · 16/05/2012 22:36

Since I have been about 17 years old I had rather see a film on my own. If I hated it I could justn öleave, or if I wanted to I could just go back and watch it again and again

You could do different things with your girlfriends, like just have laughs and drinks, and save all the films for your boyfriend.

I personally would tell the boyfriend to get a life, get some mates and get the hell out of my life.

WithACherryOnTop · 16/05/2012 22:37

What's there to be shy about? Unless you're a naturally shy person,in which case I can understand it. It's not likely that your arrival sans friends is going to be greeted with a shower of popcorn and a chorus of 'loser' after all. I doubt that anyone would notice or care.

HellonHeels · 16/05/2012 22:39

Blimey. He won't do anything without you? If you don't live together he must do some things without you. He's being too clingy IMO - I'd get a bit fed up with a DP who wouldn't go off with mates or just to do his own thing sometimes.

Loads of people like going to the cinema on their own. There was a thread full of them a while back.

YANBU

LindyHemming · 16/05/2012 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WithACherryOnTop · 16/05/2012 22:43

He doesn't spend any time at all with anyone else? If so that'd concern me.

WorraLiberty · 16/05/2012 22:44

Sod paying for the Cinema

Get yourself down the market and see Kosovan Kev

3 DVDs for a tenner...and top quality too Grin

holmesgirl · 16/05/2012 22:47

Do you have an unlimited pass OP? :) Agree with other posters, invite him along. You do sound like a good friend tho. Unlike my friend who whenever we go to cinema refuses to see any film her DP has expressed an interest in - leaving the dregs for us to see.

2rebecca · 16/05/2012 22:48

I used to go alone when young and single. I occasionally go alone now, but have to really want to see the film. I think that as this bloke is a boyfriend you don't live with it does sound as though you aren't that into him if you prefer to see films he fancies with your female friends. If the problem is that you are his only friend and source of entertainment then you may be incompatible as I wouldn't want a bloke being dependent on me for all his outings and hobbies. What did he do about films before he went out with you?
You could tell him that you think he needs to see some films with other friends or alone if you don't have the time or inclination to go.

Swipe left for the next trending thread