To get really irritated when DP takes forever to understand something??

[ShutUpMeg]

DP: "did you get a response to that email?"
me: "just an automated one"
DP: "an email to confirm?"
me: "an automated email"
DP: "did they confirm they'd received it?"
me: "no they just sent an automated email!!"
DP: "and did that confirm it?"

Jesus H Christ!!!

another example -

DP: "What are you doing wednesday?"
me: "working then going to cinema"
DP: "so is it your day off?"
me: "err no, I just said I'm working"
DP: "so you're not going to cinema?"
me: "yes!! after work!!"
DP: "oh I see! so you're leaving cinema until next week?"

wtf??? am I speaking in another language? is he TRYING to piss me off by playing on my general lack of tolerance??

I'm not sure that it's your DP that talks gibberish

YANBU.

May I also add to the list: not recalling important stuff. Like...

Me: what about the house on Acacia Avenue then? Are we going to offer?
Him: What house on Acacia Avenue?
Me: the one we viewed yesterday.

Genuinely, do I not make sense? Is it not clear what I was saying in each of these examples because if it IS me, I am prepared to accept that!

yanbu

You're right, you are intolerant

You are making sense but are intolerant. So am I - it's fucking irritating that my 4 year old understands me before he does, he's an intelligent man outside of our house.

I can see the frustration with the second one but the first one, you are the one having an understanding problem

The second example, it sounds like he wasn't really listening properly but the first example sounds like a bit of both. An automated e-mail can do a number of things usually says it confirms it has received your e-mail and that they will respond properly by a certain time but others confirm details of an order so it wasn't entirely unreasonable to ask if the e-mail they sent you confirmed the e-mail had been received or whether it confirmed the contents of the order.

YANBU and intolerant but not as intolerant as me because I would have killed him by now and buried him under the patio

YANBU. My husband often lacks the ability to follow normal shorthand in a conversation. Everything has to be spelt out logically and in a totally linear fashion. He wants times/dates etc. It drives me nuts after 10 years and can render him useless in a crisis. For eg.

Baby has done a huge dirty nappy in danger of spilling all over the sofa and I am in the process of changing him having run out of wipes.
Me: dh could you get some more wipes from the chest of drawers in the spare room?
Dh: which spare room? (we have one spare bedroom always referred to thus)
Me: the one beside the kitchen
Dh: oh. The spare bedroom
Me: yes. Can you get them? (meanwhile poo everywhere)
Dh: which chest of drawers? The white one?
Me: the only one.

By this time poo is everywhere. Drives me nuts.

After the honeymoon period in a relationship when they hang on every word their lover utters, partners only tend to hear about 7% of what their OHs say (or sumfing like that). So, even if you are answering a question, he won't be able to hear a lot of what you are saying.

Friends tested this theory by each trying to catch their respective long term partners' attention by saying the name at the same volume and tone. Call them couple A and couple B - Man B could only hear Woman A's voice, and vice versa.

The moral of the story - hire another woman to come in to the house and relay messages for you.

Hope this helps...

YANBU.

In our house:

DH: so how was your day?
Me:
DH:
Five minutes later:
DH: so how was your day?
Me:

3yo DD: Daddy, read me a story
DH:
DD: daddy, read me a story, I want the one about the piggies!
DH:
DD: daddy, read me a story pleeeeeeeease!
DH:
...
DD: DADDY! YOU DID NOT READ ME A STORY! I WANT A STORY! (in her bestest Peppa Pig bossy voice)
DH: oh, hello sweetheart! Let's go for a bike ride!
DD: no, I want a Stoooooooory!
DH: a story? Oh, which one?
DD: Daddy! You did not LISTEN to me!

At least I know it's nothing personal!

I hate when people do this. If I ask or say I do not understand then I don't expect someone to just keep repeating the same word or sentence otherwise you're not explaining any differently to help me understand. You just repeated the same thing even when he asked a few different things. Yabu

The first one is all you. An automated email response confirms reciept, if they hadn't got it how could they reply back to you? I would have told you to stfu way before him.

Are you married to my DH op?
He drives me insane
Today for example.

"did you remember to do the lottery"
Yes I did it online
"where is the ticket?
I haven't got a ticket, it's online
"do you want me to go to the shop and do it now?"
no I bloody well did it online
Oh you used the computer to do it?
no I used a carrier pigeon

Can you pass me a pen
Where is it
In the drawer
Which drawer
The one by the computer desk

Which drawer (there are 2)
The top one
where is it?
in the drawer you are looking in, how much more specific could I be
Is it under the paper?
FFS IT'S IN THE DRAWER.

First one was certainly you not him.

Thinking about it after reading it again you were both right. An automated email can just confirm receipt of your email but not that the contents/order etc have been actioned. So,if DH is asking have they confirmed receipt of the email then he's right but if he's asking if they have confirmed the content or actioned the email then you're right because they haven't at this stage. Not sure if I've explained that clearly.

h once admitted he didn't listen because he thought I wwas nagging.. he ended up with poo everywhere... (nappy)

he also never listened when I told him to always put something over ds's willy when he took the nappy off... bloody fed up of bathing ds after he had weed in his own face and got it in his hair it was wonderful when h got the same treatment! h was not so impressed...

I'll take responsibility for the first one but I still maintain he was being gormless in my 2nd example.

My mum does it sometimes too though:

me: Oh I see David has moved to Kingsway!
mum: who has?
me: David
mum: David has done what?
me: moved to Kingsway
mum: David has moved??
me: yes!
mum: where to?
me: Kingsway! I just told you!
mum: where did he live before?
me: Roper Street
mum: and where has he moved to?

count to 10count to 10count to 10

YANBU! I genuinely question the intelligence of some people. I know that their hearing is perfectly fine, so it must be their brains, no?!

My dp is the same! So happy to see I'm not the only one suffering this, it's so frustrating! He is also a very clever man outside the home

I think you're being intolerant and nasty. Some people process more slowly than others, its doesn't mean they are stupid.

The example with your mother, in your head "david has moved to Kingsway" is a fully formed thought, you've had time to process that. You say it to her, and she has to think and connect all of it together. She's clearly placing the person first, then having to connect the rest, so is not concentrating on the whole statement. He's moved and she didn't know so she probably has a whole other process going on, "why has he moved? is it because of xyz or abc?, wonder if q knows..., anyway where did she say he moved to?"

While you're sitting there not having to tax yourself and frothing that your own mother is isn't as smart as you. Massively intolerant and probably come across as patronising.

YANBU I could not deal with that on a daily basis! My work colleague is like this, sometimes I have to leave the room!

I agree, the first one was all you. The second one was him not listening.

Same with the example of your mum.

Do either of them have hearing issues? As my mom can be like that as she won't hear you.