To get really irritated when DP takes forever to understand something??

[ShutUpMeg]

DP: "did you get a response to that email?"
me: "just an automated one"
DP: "an email to confirm?"
me: "an automated email"
DP: "did they confirm they'd received it?"
me: "no they just sent an automated email!!"
DP: "and did that confirm it?"

Jesus H Christ!!!

another example -

DP: "What are you doing wednesday?"
me: "working then going to cinema"
DP: "so is it your day off?"
me: "err no, I just said I'm working"
DP: "so you're not going to cinema?"
me: "yes!! after work!!"
DP: "oh I see! so you're leaving cinema until next week?"

wtf??? am I speaking in another language? is he TRYING to piss me off by playing on my general lack of tolerance??

I have visions of various mumsnetters around the world sitting upstairs in a corner rocking quietly back and forth whilst their husbands are unaware of the danger they are in

I also have a problem with my MiL. Have any of you come across the work of the sociologist Basil Bernstein and his idea that working class people talk in "restricted codes"? Well, that applies to her. She'll come up with something like, "It's terrible what happened to Dave, his wife has left him, she's the one who had an operation for breast cancer, and her sister, Angela, who lives in New Zealand, she emigrated there 20 years ago because she didn't like the weather, anyway, she met a new man over there..."

And I'm thinking: Who's Dave?

I think you are talking nonsense. Sorry.
Especially in Example 1 in your OP. You are not specific.
In example 2 you could have replied. "I am busy Wednesday. I am working, but going to the cinema after work"

And
Who the Eff is David, and why would it interest your mum where he has moved to? Be precise.

Say: "My mate David has moved to Kingsway" (But why would it interest your mum unless she is specifically interested in David, or Kingsway, or where he lived before)

or: "Uncle David has moved to Kingsway" - This she would possibly be interested in.

Do you know more than one David? If so, specify WHICH DAVID, and specify who he is in relation to YOU. Uncle, Boyfriend, Friend, Colleague.

I dont see why mention that David has moved to Kingsway to your mum, unless this was particularly interesting.

Maybe you get such weird responses because you are full of un-interesting idle chit chat that means nothing to most people? (sorry)

I want to know more about Basil Berstein.

My mum talks like that...

Sorry, going back a long way, but ethel I think you got the wrong end of my post. What happens is my dad says something, could be slightly obscure but perfectly understandable for family, and my mum will get this face on. And starts with her faux-innocent questioning. It's quite obvious that she's doing it to wind him up.

He's started walking away when she does it, while she sits there going 'What? What did I say? Has the silly old fool gone off in a sulk?! ' .

If she ever does it to me I will not be responsible for my actions. I hate people who use PA tactics to entertain themselves .

I think quintessential shadows should have read that last post more carefully! Off to look up basil Berstein

Because I am in danger? Dont know Dave? Or dont know Basil Bernstein?

YATNBU!

This is a text conversation between me and DH this morning;
(We're buying a buying a new second hand car in August, been discussing it for months).

Me: I was thinking we could put that tax rebate money towards the new car so we can get a newer one.
DH: A new car..?
Me: My beetle (I want a beetle, hence my name).
DH: A new beetle?
Me: (Losing the will to live) FFS the new car we're buying in August.
DH: You can't buy a new car with x amount of money.
Me: (Bangs head against table) I don't mean an actual brand new car, why on earth would I? I know how much new cars cost I meant a newer second hand one as opposed to an old banger!
DH: I don't get it
Me: (Gives up switches phone off).

I know it's not just me as DSD has the exact same problem with him, he'll be adamant he's right over whatever it is, even when both me and her are telling him it's this way, he'll say no it's that way.

Perhaps if you were prepared to speak to him in proper sentences rather than sound bites, he might understand a bit better. You do sound a bit snippy. And that was presumably before his failure to understand wound you up..... or are you generally quite tightly wound anyway?

The first one is definitely down to you. Telling your DP that you got an automated email is an inadequate response to his question. He wanted to know what it said, not the mechanisms for delivering it.

Was it so difficult to just answer by saying "we haven't got a confirming email, just one to say they'd received ours" - or whatever? To keep on repeating "an automated email" makes you sound like a badly programmed parrot, tbh.

Hackmum, both the ex and his mother did that. They'd be going on about someone who I might have met once 12 years ago and about their extended family who I'd never met and expect me to know and follow their life stories.

The ex's mother would also start a conversation with you like it was half was through - because she'd been thinking something in her head and think I should be a sodding mind reader

Quint, I was pointing out that it was the poster's mum who was waffling on about Dave from Kingsway not the poster.

Basil Bernstein was quite interesting, understood the basics but soon got lost with linguistics jargon.

All these dozy DH's sound exactly like my DS1, i pity my future DIL.

manicbmc - yes, exactly like that! I'm sitting there thinking: who are these people? Why would I be interested in them?

My mum does the thing where she starts a conversation in the middle, clearly she had been thinking about it previously and thought I would know maybe as I can read her mind.

She phoned me at work just now and said " did you go to boots?"
(no hello btw)
No, why, was I supposed to?
The cream I like is in a sale
Ok, did you ask me to get it and I forgot(quite possible)
No that's why I'm ringing you, to ask you.

I put the phone down wondering why she had asked me first off if I had been to boots?
If I had been there already I wouldn't have bought the cream, would I because I did not know she wanted it

YANBU.

It's more the pointless response that gets me. If you don't understand or didn't hear then fair enough but say that then. I am massively intolerant but somehow it's only DP and my mother that annoy me.

Tightly wound? Moi? never

Classic one from ex mil

Mil: Did you get that crossword book?
Me:What crossword book?
Mil: THE crossword book.
Me: But I don't know about a crossword book.
Mil: Yes, you do. It's the one I was going to tell you to buy yesterday

Is your mother in law in actual fact my mother???

Probably not. Will this happen to me if I become a mil?

YANBU....bit like when I am doing the ironing and DH will come in say "what you doing?".......I reply as my dear old mum used to say "picking lettuces in a cabbage field".......jeez, talk about state the obvious :)

What did the email say btw?

My Dad used to answer 'flying a kite' to that question.

Women who behave that way are often called 'ditzy' or an 'airhead'. Funny how there isn't a similar tag attached to men, even though it appears not to be uncommon.

have loved reading these convos. Fun thread guys!

Ah the whole not paying attention selective listening thing. Do mothers teach this at birth or something? Ladies, we have a whole next generation to train to PAY ATTENTION. Our daughters will thank us.

I have a tactic, just turn it round. e.g.

Yr DH: Where are my shirts darling?
You: What? Sorry? Shirts?
Yr DH: Yes, where are they?
You: Yes, I know you have shirts darling. They need to be ironed.
Yr DH: So where are they?
You: Have you ironed them?
Yr DH: No, where are they?
You: Well if you haven't ironed them you need to find them
DH: Where are they?
You: Where are what?

You see, hours of fun....