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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be aghast at friend with bottle feeding....

107 replies

Babylon1 · 16/05/2012 19:12

I don't know whether I ABU or not here....

Don't want to drip feed, so here goes.....

Friend has a baby just over 5 months, was EBF for first 6 weeks then mixed BF/FF until approx 10 weeks then FF........ Fast forward to now, and friend has told me that for babys last feed at night, she adds an extra couple of scoops of formula to "bulk out" the milk so baby sleeps longer, and she's been doing this for quite sometime.

Am I right to think that this is not good practice? I've never done it with my DCs and it just doesn't sit right with me.

I'm struggling to fill up ds1 with my milk and she suggested I add a scoop of formula to each expressed bottle (I'm finding it easier to express than bf thru the day times but bf at nights)

Any thoughts, is this normal, do others do it??

OP posts:
NicNocJnr · 16/05/2012 22:11

Well not pretty much. It is. Don't know what that was about.

Krumbum · 16/05/2012 22:57

Yanbu, a friend of mine always does an eyes ounce of water than formula in a bottle and has done it since her dc was born. She says it will stop her dc getting dehydrated. Where to ppl get these ridiculous ideas from? Do they think doctors, hv etc are just lying or wrong?

Krumbum · 16/05/2012 22:58

*extra

foreverondiet · 16/05/2012 23:02

Dangerous as baby's kidneys can't cope with watered down formula and baby can get dehydrated. However baby rice mixed in with formula might be an idea (like HIPP goodnight milk?) Personally I would say something - like aren't you worried about damaging your babies kidneys?

Lovelynewboots · 17/05/2012 09:53

krumbum, I think this was recommended in a Dr Miriam Stoppard book I had when I had my first. Clearly out of date advice but I am sure I can remember reading that.

Original poster
Babylon1 · 17/05/2012 09:56

Ok just to update, have spoken with friend this morning - she says she had no idea could be harmful and will stop immediately. She was advised by her cousin who did the same with her DCs apparently.

Also spoke with her about hungry baby milk and baby rice which she is going to look at today.

Was very gentle with her, and explained i just want to help her but not take over - she is a first time mum and I said that every day is a school day when you've not done it before. Smile

OP posts:
MoonlightandRoses · 17/05/2012 09:59

Smile really glad she's letting you help her.

wimblehorse · 17/05/2012 10:01

Sounds as though you have handled well with your friend.

A friend who is a paediatric dietician did tell me while I was making up DS's bottle that when a baby is referred to them for failing to put on enough weight, the first thing they do is add an extra scoop to the formula. Clearly different situation as your friend's dc is not doing this under medical advice. But just to reassure her now she has stopped that she is unlikely to have caused major harm.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 17/05/2012 10:11

My oh and his 11 siblings were fed carnation milk instead of formula.
There is not one one of them who hasn't got stomach problems.
I used to get badgered by sils to start dd on carnation. Drove me nuts.
So hey we're still doing it with their kids.
They never seemed to connect the gastroenteritis all their babies had with the crap they wre feeding them.

Original poster
Babylon1 · 17/05/2012 10:27

I have a lovely relationship with my friend and she is definitely more like a sister than the sister I got lumbered with Hmm

I can be totally open with her and she knows I only want the best for her and her dc.

Smile

I told her about this thread and all the replies and that I had posted here because really wasn't sure of the facts, and she told me I'm daft and should have just said it instead of worrying myself; but I said she was under enough pressure and didn't need me piling more on!!

Anyway, no harm done, and hopefully her dc will be on hungry baby milk by lunchtime and i won't need to worry any more!!!

Thanks again for all the advice Smile

OP posts:
minimisschief · 17/05/2012 10:30

tell her to get the hungry baby stuff for her last bottle.

Want2bSupermum · 17/05/2012 12:45

Great to hear that you have spoken to her. You mentioned upthread that you thought she might have some PND issues. It might be worth talking to her about how she is coping with the sleep deprevation. If she isn't coping she needs to see her GP ASAP.

ChippingIn · 17/05/2012 12:50

Good result and a few other people educated along the way - a win/win thread :)

CarolynR · 17/05/2012 12:54

I would let her know, don't call her stupid but tell her the dangers of it (maybe do a quick google so you can have "evidence") and suggest hungry baby formula instead. Be firm but not patronising.

ChippingIn · 17/05/2012 13:32

Carolyn - can I just ask a question? Why don't people read the threads? Or just the OPs posts or even the last couple of posts? Why on earth you do/they just read the OP then post? It honestly makes no sense to me at all?!

CarolynR · 17/05/2012 15:02

I'm sorry. I didn't see that she'd replied - there were rather a lot of posts and I don't have very much time. Sorry to have caused annoyance.

Kayano · 17/05/2012 15:15

Not
Good practice

But equally none of your business

Tangointhenight · 17/05/2012 15:15

Carolyn don't be sorry at all, your advice although very similar to others was just as helpful IMO

No need to be so rude chipping in

Kayano · 17/05/2012 15:16

Really need to read threads lol

ll31 · 17/05/2012 15:50

obv its wrong thing to do but have my doubts that adding one scoop too many to bottle is that dangerours - surely that happens accidentally quite often with tired (exhausted) parents etc... But maybe I'm completely wrong...

pumpkinsweetie · 17/05/2012 15:55

1131-it is very dangerous, it can deyhrdrate the baby and make him or her extremley ill and im glad op advised her friend against doing it.
One accidental extra spoon by mistake is different to doing it on purpose but personally i counted each scoop aloud so i knew how much had gone in and if i was unsure i would chuck it away!

ChippingIn · 17/05/2012 16:18

Tangointhenight - I wasn't rude, I asked a question.

Advice after something has already been dealt with is not 'just as helpful' - it is redundant. That is a fact, not a judgement nor a criticism.

It baffles me why people don't read a thread, or even the OP's post or at the very least the last few posts. It makes absolutely no sense to me at all and I just wonder why they do it?

It's a question 'tis all.

Northernlurker · 17/05/2012 19:46

Well done OP - great to see you've sorted this out.

Original poster
Babylon1 · 17/05/2012 20:32

Have seen my friend and dc this afternoon after school; hungry baby milk now in use, friend seems happier and brighter, and we had a good chat about her getting support for pnd.

She's going to talk to HV at next opportunity and complete the questionnaire about depression, so I feel a lot relieved Smile

OP posts:
marriedinwhite · 18/05/2012 00:16

Well done. The world would be a better place if everyone had friends like you. Smile