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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be aghast at friend with bottle feeding....

107 replies

Babylon1 · 16/05/2012 19:12

I don't know whether I ABU or not here....

Don't want to drip feed, so here goes.....

Friend has a baby just over 5 months, was EBF for first 6 weeks then mixed BF/FF until approx 10 weeks then FF........ Fast forward to now, and friend has told me that for babys last feed at night, she adds an extra couple of scoops of formula to "bulk out" the milk so baby sleeps longer, and she's been doing this for quite sometime.

Am I right to think that this is not good practice? I've never done it with my DCs and it just doesn't sit right with me.

I'm struggling to fill up ds1 with my milk and she suggested I add a scoop of formula to each expressed bottle (I'm finding it easier to express than bf thru the day times but bf at nights)

Any thoughts, is this normal, do others do it??

OP posts:

hackmum · 16/05/2012 19:39

Christ. Some people are so fucking stupid they shouldn't be allowed to have babies.

Want2bSupermum · 16/05/2012 19:42

Is your friend is aware of the issues with adding more formula to a bottle than the instructions say? If not, it sounds like your friend might be struggling. Is there a reason for wanting to make her child sleep through the night? Sounds silly but she might have PND or she might not be getting enough help from those around her.

DD was FF and we offered 8oz every 4 hours during the day. When she got to 5.5 months she needed more than 8oz so we switched to feeding her 8oz every 3 hours. It might be that your DS is going through a growth spurt.

Get0rfMoiLand · 16/05/2012 19:44

Apparently it can lead to kidney problems. You wouldn't wish that ghastly pain on a baby would you. All from some knuckleheaded idea that it will fill them up and shut them up for longer.

Ilovedaintynuts · 16/05/2012 19:45

Two extra scoops of formula a day can be life threatening? I'm pretty sure all my babies got that most days when I lost count through over-tiredness.

I think people are bonkers if they think a 5 month old given 2 extra scoops a day is at risk of death. Jeez.

Northernlurker · 16/05/2012 19:46

Weaning at 5 months isn't 'early'. Weaning before 17 weeks is early. However milk has more calories so unlikely weaning will 'fill' the baby up though I did always find mine a bit easier to manage when they were at an age where you could give them some solids. Seems to distract them some how

Northernlurker · 16/05/2012 19:47

I love you routinely lost count going up to what 3? 4? Sorry I don't believe you.

Clawdy · 16/05/2012 19:52

Think I would say something like "Oh,I was going to do that extra scoop thing but I looked it up and apparently it's really dangerous..."then tell her the details!then she won't think you're just having a go....

McKayz · 16/05/2012 19:52

It can be very dangerous Ilove, my HV when I had DS1 5 years ago said that over time 1 extra scoop a day could damage his kidneys. If I ever lost count then I would start again.

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 16/05/2012 19:53

My friends DD puts rusk in her DDs bottle because it makes her 'cry less often'

needsomesunshine · 16/05/2012 19:56

I always gave a bottle before bed & breastfeed the other times after 4 months but not mixed! That is silly

AmazingBouncingFerret · 16/05/2012 19:58

I remember once losing count in the many thousands of bottles ive made for DS and DD.

I binned it.

lolajane2009 · 16/05/2012 20:00

yanbu... sounds stupid tbh

Tangointhenight · 16/05/2012 20:02

A friend used to add 2 scoops of formula to ebm at night WTF???? She should try hungry milk or give him some baby rice before bed (but not in the bottle), then give him his bottle!

deleting · 16/05/2012 20:05

I know someone who did this with his dd (was in the 70s). It was a kind of 'and another one for luck' scenario. Anyway she now has really bad eczema and allergies. Maybe it's a coincidence.

Original poster

Babylon1 · 16/05/2012 20:07

Thank you for all of the replies, I will talk to her in the morning. For the record she is suffering pnd to a degree and she has a crappy unsupportive DH who doesn't give a toss, so I'm trying to support her as best as I can but don't want to take over and make her feel worse.

As for my DS, I'm certain he's just going through a growth spurt, will be 3 weeks on Friday, but I really have nothing to complain about - he sleeps well, and goes anything from 2-5 hours at night so I can't say I'm sleep deprived

This all came about because I mentioned this morning that he had woke me hourly last night to feed and I just hadn't seemed able to fill him all day so it felt like he had taken over my boobs!!! When I wasn't expressing, he was feeding, but he seems better and more settled again today.

I really want to carry on EBF for as long as i possibly can, so am not going to introduce any formula until I absolutely have to!

OP posts:

Original poster

Babylon1 · 16/05/2012 20:12

As an aside to this, I remember with DDs when stopping EBF, I introduced formula an ounce at a time, so they were weaned on to it if you like.
I used to freeze a lot of breast milk and would just add the correct amount of water/formula mix to the defrosted breast milk, but never just scoops of formula to breast milk.

This is still ok right?

OP posts:

calendula · 16/05/2012 20:16

OP:
3 weeks, 5 weeks, 3 months & 5 months are typical growth spurts. Babies seem to be permanently hungry for a couple of days until supply/demand and quality of milk catch up.

accessorizequeen · 16/05/2012 20:22

It is incredibly dangerous, my df is a paedatrician and had to advise on a case where the parents had done this & the baby died. He put the fear of god into me about keeping track of the spoonfuls! And if I wasn't sure I binned it. I hope your friend listens, OP, she may have already done harm to her baby if she's been doing it for months.

BertieBotts · 16/05/2012 20:24

If you make it up too strongly you're increasing the sodium (and other things, but this is the most harmful IIRC) and decreasing the water. Kidneys can be damaged by a build up of sodium (it's the build up which is harmful which is why you should watch a weaning baby's salt intake but not worry about one off meals out etc) and need enough water to function correctly.

It's possibly (?) less harmful if you're also giving water as a drink, but even then - why mess with how it's designed to be used? It's like using a car seat but making the straps too loose because the baby is uncomfortable

MsPaperbackWriter · 16/05/2012 20:26

Your baby sounds like he is going through a growth spurt - completely normal and boys do seem to feed more. You don't have to give any formula if you don't want to! Neither of mine ever had formula.

BertieBotts · 16/05/2012 20:26

Maybe you could "find" an article and then email it to her/post on your facebook wall/mention it and say "I hope you don't think I'm being critical but I came across this the other day and it worried me. I never knew this! I thought you should know."

purpleroses · 16/05/2012 20:28

She could try feeding a bit of babyrice made up with formula at 5 months. Would have the same effect, and the baby would still have the option of drinking as much as needed to quench it's thirst.

Mrsjay · 16/05/2012 20:32

this was common practise years and years ago my mum said to do it with dd i didnt , you could also buy a thickener for formula do bulk it out , I would say your friend is stupid she is setting her baby up for tummy troubles , she should maybe give something to eat at night , maybe suggest this to her and say your Heard jenny blogs baby was really ill with formula to concentrated , baby ended up with laxatives for constipation ,

FartBlossom · 16/05/2012 20:33

Someone upthread didn't believe you can lose count. Ive lost count the number of times Ive lost count. Its one of the reasons why I count the scoops into a small tub before adding it all to the water, that way if I did lose count I wasn't wasting the bottle and the water. Though why I found it difficult counting to 3/4/5/6/7/8 (depending on age of baby and how much milk they were getting) I don't know.

I like the suggestion of saying you looked into it and discovered it could cause problems. She might come back and say that everything's fine so far, but you would have to try to persuade her she shouldn't be doing it.

If she refused to stop Id be tempted to tell my HV, but you would have to be careful that it won't look like you were telling on her. I think that this baby is in danger here and you need to step in with something.

Good luck, hope all goes well with her.

Original poster

Babylon1 · 16/05/2012 20:34

Thank you all, I think the email article is a great idea Bertie, I will report back tomorrow.

I plan to persevere with bf my DS, so wish me luck!!

OP posts:

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